First date since the ex

[neallo82288]

Well, I met this woman online. I invited her out to a local bar, but she knew that she would feel uncomfortable about the first face to face contact being around all of my friends and no one she knows. So, we met at my place and things went smoothly. The date was supposed to be casual (I thought). The whole night went great. She drove and even bought my drinks. Well, she got kinda drunk and I ended up driving her car back to my place. She went to my room and stripped down and jumped into my bed. That is where things got weird. I did not realize how drunk she really was until we started to fool around ( which I prefer not to do on a first date). Things were just not right. It got to the point that I felt uncomfortable. Well, I had to go and take my children to church this morning and I think that she may think I was trying to get rid of her.

 

Questions:

 

Could this have been sexual incompatibility?

Was the "sex" bad because she was drunk?

Should I try another date with her and try to limit her drinking?

Should I give her another try considering everything was fine, but the sex?

[crookster_man]

Well slow down here neallo, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. The worst thing you can do is assume stuff. First off, I doubt from your description she was "sloshed" (wasted). So I would say that the sex its self was fine. However, if you felt bad about it then it wasn't okay for you. But it's not like you took advantage of her or anything (from your post).

 

Why did she drink so much? Is this habit? is it because of a bad day? is it how she deals with hard situations? Maybe she was just having a great time and got a little carried away, I would give her another chance (if you feel any connection there).

 

Moving on to a new person is always awkward at first, you have to fully accept the fact that she isn't your ex (I know you know that, but deep down you have to stop comparing her to your ex... this comes with time).

 

If you feel bad about having her leave early, give her a call today. Let her know you had a good time (you did most of the night right?) and ask to see her again sometime, see what she says. Who knows this could be fun for you. Good luck, we will be here for you.

[neallo82288]

She got sloshed because she had a good time. First time she was out in long time. Plus, she did not eat dinner. There was really no sex. There was an attempt at sex but it did not go very well. Not because of me seemed like she was in a rush or something, just did not work out right.

[disEnchantid]

Hi neallo

I don't know...this doesn't sound good to me. Maybe I am old fashioned, but for me to drink so much on a first date that I couldn't drive myself home would be a big faux pas. On a first date, I want to make the best impression on the guy that I can (if I am interested in him as a possible boyfriend). Seems to me that her behavior should be a big warning flag to you, women *can* have a good time and not get "sloshed". Also, the fact that she jumped right into bed might indicate that she is a "live for the moment" kind of gal and not interested in anything long term. If you are just looking for some fun right now, she seems like one who can provide it, but if you are looking for potential mates, I would be very careful about this one.

 

Just my humble opinion though...

 

dE

[The Morrigan]

If you felt you hit it off before that point - get together and talk to her a bit. Could be she's been under the impression it's expected of her to keep a guy's interest, insecurity, or personality - but you won't know unless you ask her about it and make it an "ok" subject to talk about - since it's one that's often kind of touchy early on. I'd approach it something like "hey, I know things ended up a little awkward last time we went out - I wasn't trying to run out on you early, I had to take my kids to church... but I also wanted you to know I don't expect sex as part of a relationship early on to be interested in a girl," and see how she reacts.