Just when I start to pick up the pieces....

[loveyourself5]

Hi y'all! haven't been in here for a while but something just came up and I needed some advice. My ex and I have been broken up for 7 mos now after a 7yrs relationship and just when I started to pick up the pieces that is left of our break up I get a phone call from my ex's dad. Apparently my ex is having some 'regrets'. According to his dad they have been talking a lot lately and he's started to confess what he really feels. I don't get it though, 2mos ago he affirmed me that he was really really happy with his life right now and didn't want to go back to little ol me. What am I supposed to do? I already had the notion in my head that him and I could no longer be together and after 6 mos I started to accept his decision. Now this bomb drops on me and it's like my life is upside down again! But what's funny is that he's been seeing this lady for the past 6 mos....I guess it's one of those things that the grass ain't always greener on the other side. Anyways his dad's advice was to treat him like I have been...polite....nice and he'll eventually come around. I know that I can't make any conclusions yet until I hear it straight from his mouth but I can't help but wonder. Also, I'm terrified...scared of letting him in my life again, even though I still have feelings for him and I haven't been able to look at other men the same way.

 

What is y'all opinion on this situation? What is there left for me to do?

[beeter64]

This is a tough one. Although, I must say, I wish mine would have showed some regret. It has been two years since we ended our relationship of 8 years and I've heard nothing from him. At least, you know that he regrets his actions. I wish mine would have.

Anyway, this is a tough call. I would wait it on and see what he says when he finally comes to you. If he really feels that way, he needs to come to you not his dad. Also, is he still with the other woman? Did he leave you for her? If this is the case, I would be very careful in getting involved again. I let mine back and he left again. The pain the second time around is even more unbearable. Whatever you decide, we will support you here. It's really your decision in the end...after all, you know him best. Just be careful and think with your head and not your heart. You don't know how bad I wish I would have. Take care and keep us posted.

[lisa1126]

I wouldn't count on it. His dad may certainly see you as a much better mate than who he is seeing now, and that I am sure you are a decent, lovable person any parent would want his/her child to be with, BUT what the dad says should have no bearing on this matter. It's between him and you. You haven't heard from him, and you heard him say he is happy, that is what you need to go on with.

 

Please don't set yourself up for regression with your healing and moving on. Even if something were to happen later on with your ex and you, FOR NOW, there is nothing.

[HoTung]

Carry on ur life as u have until the day he says " I want you back" from his own mouth

[Crazyaboutdogs]

His father could have any number of reasons for getting involved. Sure it could be true...but it is also possible he is hoping you would take the initiative and call your ex because he doesn't like the new woman his son is with. Do nothing at this point...if it is true then your ex has to take the initiative and come to you...it can't come from a third party.

[OrangeMoon]

I agree with crazyaboutdogs-- you don't know what is behind it all. If your ex is a man and not a manboy he will have to act on his own..being the one taking the risk or the fall. And then..the fact that he might have been rebounding is a definate warning that he needs to show over time that his reasons for ending the relationship in the first place is not still present- I would be very careful to jump right in after being dumped for someone else..But you have to figure out if you still want him actually after all that has happened..2 months ago he was very strict in his decision and now he is there willing and able?

 

I dont know..i would almost say to him to go into NC with each other for 3 months..if after this alone time he still feels that you are 'the one' (because that is what we are talking about i hope and due to his rebounding he has not taken time by himself to figure things out) then i maybe would consider to go on ' the path' again..but that is just me

[jasper01]

Run like hell. His dad had no business doing that.

[loveyourself5]

Thanks everyone that replied. What's best for me to do is keep living my life with the notion that he's never coming back. Only God holds my future and I don't know what surprise he has in store for me. unfortunately I'm in a position where I have to see my ex every wk because of our beautiful boy, I wish I didn't have to see him ever again. I believe one of the reasons why his parents wants us to be together it's because of our son. One of the reasons why our relationship ended was because of lack of communication and feeling too comfortable with the relationship. Till this day I don't know if he ended our relationship to be with this other person and that is something that he'll never tell me. However, he hasn't had any time on his own to reflect on what our relationship was, which makes me believe he's missing something. I want to share with you guys a piece of an e-mail that my ex sent me about 2 mos ago. I don't know what else I can get from this e-mail but maybe it'll help me understand it better with someone else's input. Thanks everyone.

 

This is part of the e-mail:

 

"Whatever is meant to happen will happen. But you can't keep blaming me and I can't keep blaming you, it is going to get both of us nowhere. Nobody knows what the future brings. Only hope for the best and keep your head up. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but you can't go back and change them. You can only learn from them and live a better life. As much as it may hurt or not wanting to understand there is nothing that can be done about the past. That is why I tell you, I don't mind talking to you or being friends, but don't harrase me because that will only drive me further away and create tension between us. I don't want to live the rest of my life fighting, arguing, or worse not talking to you. You can hate me, I don't blame you. Sometimes I hate myself. I am asking you to forgive me for any pain I may have caused you, I don't mean to cause you any pain. I do not regret the time we had together, because when it was good, it was good. You don't have to tell me goodbye I will always be around and hopefully friends if anything."