HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Really hurting this week, missing him like crazy I am sick of these relapses - i am doing stuff to make myself move on but I don;t feel ready. Its been 8 months and thats 8 months of my life i have wasted. I keep thinking to myself I never really knew the guy and i wasted 14 months with someone who never really was in it 100% with me. I am so angry with myself. I still miss him and thats what hurts yet he probably never even thinks about me. why does love hurt so much? He is never coming back - i need to accept it i really feel like crying today how many more relapses do i have to go through before i am cured? Link to comment
TBE_1989 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Relapses are part and parcel of the healing process. It's awful, and sounds harsh, but you just have to live with it. They'll pass and become less frequent as time goes on. You just have to ride it out, but it's a completely normal aspect of healing. Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 I know i shouldn't contact him as he has a new girlfriend but i really miss him Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 Is it only dumpees get relapses and and dumpers don't? do you think he has relapses where he really misses me? I guess that will depend if he ever really loved me Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 I really don;t feel ready to date anyone else actually I think i am still waiting for him - stupid I know Link to comment
Clabs Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Hi hun Can you put your hand on your heart and tell me that you really would want him back? Mark Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 Mark Honestly i think i do and its pains me because i know he doesn't Link to comment
Clabs Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Honey - are you sure about this? How would you trust him again? I can tell you that you would be on a hiding to nothing even if he did ask you back. I don't think you want him back and I don't think you miss him, I think you miss being in a relationship, I really do. What do you think? Mark Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 the thing is i don;t think its miss being in a relationship - if it was i would be out dating and finding any guy to go out with but i am not - i am not even looking Link to comment
Clabs Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Honey, I mean the relationship you had with him. You won't be able to start a successful new relationship until you dig a hole and bury this one. How long that takes is really up to you. Sometimes you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with your life. It is very easy to sit and wallow and if you decide to do that then you will remain stuck where you are for a very long time. I know it isn't easy but try and make it easier on yourself, eh? Mark Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 like i said i am more angry with myself she coudl be the one and i wish him all the best Link to comment
Clabs Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I don't think you really mean that. Your posts are very him him him. You gotta change your thought train honey. It needs to be YOU YOU YOU. Open your eyes, FFS, he is even with someone else. Grab a hold of your life and take it back. Stop wasting time thinking about someone who really doesn't care about you anymore because he is seeing someone else. I want to come round there and give you a good shaking, I really do! Mark Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 i think i need a good punch Link to comment
Clabs Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I think you do! You don't love and respect yourself as you should. I have decided I am going to hound you on here and really give you grief until you see some sense! Ok? As I say, only you are in charge of your feelings, so keep yourself stuck here as long as you like - ok? Mark Link to comment
HoTung Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 I was insecure about relationships before and now i think i am destined to be alone - i am a rubbish girlfriend Link to comment
TBE_1989 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I sincerely doubt anyone who regularly posts on a site such as this - a site dedicated to giving relationship help, support and advice - has the potential to be a ''rubbish'' partner. I will say one thing, though - from reading these few posts alone it is clear you're being very hard on yourself and are lacking in the very vital area of self-esteem. Right now, that seems to be your only relationship hindrance. Try get some more confidence, write down 30 things you like about yourself, go out with friends, do things you're good at, and stop beating yourself up over this failed relationship. most of us have some form of regrets about relationships, and wish we could have done things differently with the benefit of hindsight. But this is all trivial - it is in the past. Stop giving yourself a hard time over something you have no longer any control over. Go out and live! Feel good! Get some confidence girl! Link to comment
phoenixgirl Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 most of us have some form of regrets about relationships, and wish we could have done things differently with the benefit of hindsight. But this is all trivial - it is in the past. Stop giving yourself a hard time over something you have no longer any control over. That's so true. I sometimes also felt that if I had said or done some things differently, maybe we would still be together. But I know it's not all my fault. And I have to learn to accept the fact that it's in the past. Link to comment
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