I havent wrote in a really long time

[mr me]

Ive been completely shut out from being creative for a really long time. I always kinda stress now when i try to write which is really different then the release i used to feel. The only thing i can really see myself writing about is how i cant write.

 

The words dont feel the same

They dont flow

They just stumble onto the page

My life has completely changed in such a short amount of time

It almost doesnt feel like this is me anymore

Im still struggling with turning this around

I want to come out on top

I went from the bottom to the top and then to rock bottom

I must have hit rock bottom like 3 times

This isnt how i want my story to be

I tried to rush everything to get away from the pain

I went from one problem to the next one to the next one

I almost lost it all

It was like being broken in half

It was really just too painful to even express

I guess ive gotten thru most of the pain

Its just putting back the pieces

Its like putting together this thread

I dont think i can go back to how things were

So i dont really know if ill ever feel the same about writing again

Some people say that certain things in your life can change the meaning of everything that happened before it

I just keep on telling myself that i never want to go thru something like that again

Its just the truth is that ill never have control of what happens to me all the time

I dont really know what to do next but i guess as you mature you see that is just the way things work

Its just hard because i fight it all the time

I dont know if i could really live my life like this

Its just i dont really have a choice

So i dont really see whats the point of fighting life

Its just i thought that things were going to be so much better before

I guess i wrote this to explain myself in a different way

I dont really know what else to say

I guess ill just have to fill in the blanks