Is it possible to have feelings for a good friend?

[sleepers]

Hi,

i have been on enotalone for quite some time now. The first few times that i posted, i wanted to seek advice about this relationship where the guy suggested breaking up with me. I was depressed, i was upset. But after one night, where he told me something really rude, i slapped him, i never did want to see or talk to him ever.

 

lately, i met up for dinner with this guy friend of mine. we knew each other for 4 years. But during this 4 yrs, he was attached with a gf. So we only met once in 4 mths for a dinner and catching up. All along, i had rather good feelings for him. Yesterday night, we met up for dinner again. This time, things were still as good as possible. light-hearted and very happy and enjoyable. After i went home, i got a message from him telling me he had a great time and hope to see each other soon.

 

I was obviously excited about this message. And well, we talked online. And this time, he told me he has been having problems with his gf for a few mths since. And i told him to go on telling me what happened. Well, his gf (they have not broken up yet) has turned cold towards him and he was telling me it could due to be the time they were together (about 2 years already). Initially, i suspected things were not alright between the both of them back in august 2003. But he didn't say much and i didn't persist.

 

Then, we spoke quite a bit and i dropped quite a bit of subtle hints etc that i am interested in him. He somehow knew about it and acknowledged it. So now, i wonder if the feelings i have for him is developing into something more or it is just based on pure friendship. its like when he was attached with that girl, he always tells me how they don't do exciting things together. He's an outdoor person but the gf doesn't like outdoor activities. But at times, i do some outdoor activities with him. SO he wil always asked 'why can't my gf be like you.' so i just kept quiet then.

 

i mean like has anyone had experiences of being together with this guy/girl after knowing him for so long? Is it possible that love can develop from it? (though i am not looking at it now, but just asking )

 

Tks!

[raggamuffin]

I think it is possible for love to develop but sometimes being really close friends for a long time can make it awarkward...Thats from my experience and they were weired circumstances!!! Love from friendship is a really wonderful thing but sometimes when you are good friends withsomeone your feelings can get a bit muddeled for friendship love and deep caring for being in love. Does that make sense?? I hope it helped. R

[S4il]

Well lets start here

 

why can't my gf be like you

 

I think what he said has a meaning behind it.

 

Why don't you make yourself more open with him, instead of holding your feelings in...Try expressing them, It will make him more comfortable, for him and yourself; and could give you the same in return, making it less of an effort on both sides isn't all such a bad idea..

[raggamuffin]

I had a guy say the same thing to me about his girlfriend...He didnt mean that he wanted to be with me he just wished that his girlfriend who he loves dearly had more qualities like me for example being a sport freak. I can see where you are coming from and it could possibly mean that he does wish he was with you and not her...but approach the situation carefully because if you jump to conclusions it could ruin everything.

[sleepers]

thanks for the replies mates! his gf and him are currently on some problems. But he has somehow gotten over it because she was really nasty to him. He told me he hasn't managed to tell anyone at all since whoever he was close to knew her too. So its awkward. So telling me was the best he could have managed.

 

And there was this time i dropped a very strong hint, something like 'well, if you are single, i would definitely have dated you' but he told me, ' i would love to, but let me be the one who asks u that.' but that date didn't happen cos i went on a holiday.

 

i know it is awkward liking a fren you have been meeting up for 4 yrs. We aren't really that close. But at times, he will tell me stuff that makes me think otherwise.. Initially, i didn't want to speculate that things were not fine between the both of them. But aft speaking to him, i was kinda sure wat i thought of was correct. Because he always talked abt US when we go out, and whenever i asked abt her, he will just miss the point totally and move on.

 

But at that pt, i didn't want to be a cushion so i left not contacting him at all. felt it will be better for me. its coming back to me now.. the good feelings i have for him.. anyway i can approach the situation first?