doityourself Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Im 31, married, 2 kids I've always wanted to have a online buddy to talk and flirt with, is that wrong? What are your ideas of online flirting? Link to comment
Mutley Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 If you are in commited relationship...flirting anywhich way is a no-no. (call me old fashioned) Link to comment
rikka Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 If you are in commited relationship...flirting anywhich way is a no-no. (call me old fashioned) I am "old fashioned" as well and I agree with Mutley. If you are married/committed you should not be blatantly flirting. Especially with a "chat buddy" - that is just as recipe for disaster. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Three for no-no. Link to comment
doityourself Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 Even if its a simple conversation between adults that will never go anywhere, just fantasy play is the word Im looking for. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 It really is a recipe for disaster. These "innocent flirtations" often turn into something much more. You might develop feelings for her, and this could turn into a full blown affair that breaks up your marriage. Would you want your wife to have an innocent flirtation with a man online? What are you not getting from your wife that is causing you to want this? Link to comment
Mutley Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Even if its a simple conversation between adults that will never go anywhere, just fantasy play is the word Im looking for. Why don't you have fantasy play with your wife? Link to comment
rikka Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Even if its a simple conversation between adults that will never go anywhere, just fantasy play is the word Im looking for. It's disrespectful to your husband. If you run it past him and he is totally ok with it - well that is between you and him. I know it is something I would not be comfortable with my partner doing, even if it is just fantasy play. Link to comment
doityourself Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 Im the wife and I know all the moves by heart now, have tried just about everything we can think of. I love him with everything I just want my heart to pick up some speed. I would never cheat!! Looking for some excitement I guess. Link to comment
Mutley Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Im the wife and I know all the moves by heart now, have tried just about everything we can think of. I love him with everything I just want my heart to pick up some speed. I would never cheat!! Looking for some excitement I guess. ok...my mistake. I'll let the women take it from here. Link to comment
doityourself Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 not a problem I think women feel the same way as men, Im just a women thats more open mouthed. I take and appreciate any advice given. You as a man, are you married, if so how long, did you ever feel like you wanted to feel that excitement again. Link to comment
rikka Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I don't know Mutley, man or woman the situation is still the same. Personally, I feel there are other ways to get your heart racing again that don't involve forms of emotional infidelity. But that is just me. Have you talked with your husband about how you are feeling? As I said, perhaps he wouldn't mind you having an online chat buddy. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 If you feel like you want that excitement enough to do it online then whos to say you wont get swept up by it all and take it further. Huge risk, not worth it imo. Link to comment
Mutley Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I don't know Mutley, man or woman the situation is still the same. Personally, I feel there are other ways to get your heart racing again that don't involve forms of emotional infidelity. But that is just me. Have you talked with your husband about how you are feeling? As I said, perhaps he wouldn't mind you having an online chat buddy. Ok...that's true. If I was experiencing that....I'd really concentrate on my SO. And see if I could make things better. Guys can be numbskulls and not pick up what's going on though. I'm talking from experience. Link to comment
doityourself Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 Weve talked about things like this and he feels the same as you, like it would be cheating. I dont really feel like Im missing anything in our relationship, maybe its boredom. Link to comment
rikka Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I agree, I think you really have to turn to your husband when the spark is fading not away. Now is the time that you two have to re-connect, not add a third person into the mix. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 You risk getting swept up by some man hon...there are some right charmers out there, believe me... Link to comment
doityourself Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 Thanks guys and girls, I would never do this behind his back and no cheating would never be worth losing him. I love him Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 yeah, this wouldn't lead to anywhere good. Emotional attachment can happen pretty quickly if you spend signifcant time chatting with someone else. Before you know it, you're making plans to just "have lunch" or "say hi." Even if that's not the case, there's an emotional investment and a reliance on someone else that in and of itself is a form of cheating. Set up a date with your husband. Go to a bar, and have him come in, act like he's never met you, and attempt to pick you up. Or any number of other scenarios. Link to comment
duchesstigerlily Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I think online flirting is a very selfish thing to do. I have experienced this myself in the past and I was devastated to find out that my partner was engaging in this sort of thing behind my back. Think of it this way, if its something you wouldnt do in front of your partner then it is probably something you shouldnt be doing period. I think you need to be honest with your partner about your feelings and try to make some changes together to revive your relationship. Sometimes what starts out as online flirting can quickly progress into something that will destroy other people's lives. Dont play with fire just to get your heart beating a bit faster...put the time and the effort into your current relationship or get out of it if its making unhappy enough to consider finding a so-called "online buddy". You will save yourself and other people a lot of heartache. Link to comment
rikka Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Thanks guys and girls, I would never do this behind his back and no cheating would never be worth losing him. I love him That I am glad to hear. It sucks when things seem commonplace. I think it is time to put a little extra effort into your relationship with your husband. Go on a date, buy some lingerie, light some candles, try something new - whatever may work for you. Find something that is going to be exciting for you that involves him. You have a wonderful husband - look at this site, people search far and wide to find what you have. I am glad you wouldn't risk it. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Shouldn't you ask your husband if its ok? What we say doesn't matter. Some people don't care if their spouse is playful online (within reason), others find it to be a deal breaker. You should ask him. If you are afraid to ask him or bring it up, there is your answer. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Im the wife and I know all the moves by heart now, have tried just about everything we can think of. I love him with everything I just want my heart to pick up some speed. I would never cheat!! Looking for some excitement I guess. That's what they all say when they start "innocently" flirting with someone online...it is a slippery slope. Flirting, becomes sexual innuendos, becomes exchanging photos, becomes exchanging naked photos, becomes internet sex, becomes an arrangement to discreetly meet up for dinner, becomes having sex with each other, becomes having regular meetups for sex. Sometimes it is just about sex, other times a full blown emotional affair takes place even if sex is not happening. So the bottom line is fix your marriage and spice it up...do not start flirting with someone online. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 That's what they all say when they start "innocently" flirting with someone online...it is a slippery slope. Flirting, becomes sexual innuendos, becomes exchanging photos, becomes exchanging naked photos, becomes internet sex, becomes an arrangement to discreetly meet up for dinner, becomes having sex with each other, becomes having regular meetups for sex. Sometimes it is just about sex, other times a full blown emotional affair takes place even if sex is not happening. So the bottom line is fix your marriage and spice it up...do not start flirting with someone online. WHOA! That doesn't happen to every person who ever flirted online CAD! That is quite a leap! Sure that can happen, but not to everyone. God I have a ton of male internet friends and it didn't get to that escalation! Maybe it depends on the level of flirting. I flirt with my female online friends as much or more than the males - which is proof of its innocence. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 can you start by writing your husband an incredibly erotic email, outlining a fantasy and what you'd want to do to someone? You can either send it to him or post it on en erotic writing forum. My bf and I have shared our fantasies and stories on other forums. Link to comment
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