Jump to content

can ANYONE tell me whats going on in my head????

Recommended Posts

i posted the other day to say the ex was moving out of town. she has new b/f, new job etc etc. well i dumped her a year ago. for 6 months we did the whole friends thing and she tried to get back with me at least 4 times. i said no everytime i just wanted to be friends.


now everytime i see her i get a lot of emotions sad,upset, want to talk to her sometimes anger i no i have no right to be angry i apoligise i just cant help it. most days when i see her these feelings go away after about 20 minutes. but today i drove past her walking up the road and it hurt more than anything.


few questions i hope one can help me understand this??


1. why do i get really jealous and hurt when i see her with this new guy??


2. the reason it hurt so much today because she is leaving 2mo for new town?


3why do i get so nervous when i see her like i near break my neck to look at her? i try not to. its an instinct


4 is it all because she has moved on and i am stuck in the same place on my own?


i have never been this confused the thing is if i new for 100 per cent i loved her and could offer her everything she deserved then i would try get back with her. but i cant even try anything because i would not start any trouble unless i was so so sure i wanted her. i am confused and hate this feeling. i think its easier being dumped. to move on in your head must be easier than feeling this

Link to comment

here you go, pal.


you dumped her... you must have had your reasons. now, you're seeing her move on and you're making the relationship more grand than it really was. plus, the fact that if you wanted her back now it woudl be more of an obstacle/challenge with this new guy involved, has really peaked your interest.


the reason it hurt is your paths are diverging... which, i'm sure was not the case when you were together.


listen, if you wanted to be with her, you wouldn't have dumped her. maybe time will prove to you that you want to be with her. give her some space... some clarity. if you're SURE you want to be with her - attack. if not, back off until you can reach a much more clear decision.

Link to comment

i no what it would cause to a lot of people if i was to try get back with her. i just dont want this feeling of not knowing weather i want her back are not. not beng sure is killing me. even more so than if i knew i wanted her back and she said no i dont love you. which then i could move on. i am stuck here pondering what if buts and maybes??


you are right when you say i making the relationship we had into something that its not in my head. but i keep wondering will i regret everything and it has been eating me up for months. altho i have never acted on it i have left her to get on with her life. while keeping this all to myself we me and u guys

Link to comment

no i have been having the doubts if buts and maybes since we broke up. it was getting better and i was letting go. but now shes moving it has brought some them feelings back again.


one other thing was she changed he number i did not have her new number but my mum did she wrote.


hi its ........ ..... here just letting you no i forgive you. do me one favour dont try to ring or reply i dont want any contact LOL plz dont think im cheeky its just iv moved on and have me wee b/f who i love.


now to me that sounds like she is trying to convince herself she likes him or shes trying to rub it in or something i dont no. but why change her number then go on 6 mnths no contact going out with a new guy then text me that outa the blue


what does that mean?

Link to comment

well long story short. i was not sure if i loved her or not. she fell pregnant then lost the baby and we broke up about a month later it was really confusing time and pressure was being put on me to get engaged to her.


i dont think it was right at the time i did not want to get engaged to her. i got this text about 1month ago. whats your opinion on the text?

Link to comment

Ok, could be a few things...


1. She genuinely wants no hard feelings between you and she is telling you that she is happy now and moved on


2. She sent it to rub it in your face that she has moved on and wanted a reaction


3. She wants to establish some contact between the two of you again for whatever reason



Did you reply to the text?



What do you think it is?

Link to comment

i guess i hope its becuse she has been thinking about me and has feelings for me its just an immature way putting it accross. yea i replied because i thought it was one of her sisters taking the mickey


i wrote whoever this is that was a bit cheeky and uncalled for. but anyway im gald ........ has moved on so have i. thats the last i heard i deleted her number after that. this has been going on for a year now and i dont no how much more i could cope with.


shes leaving my life probably forevr 2mo her and her family move. good thing maybe i guess time will tell. i just wish someone would come along and take all this away

Link to comment

Well it seems to me that if you had made the right decision you wouldn't be having thoughts like this a year down the line....


Don't know whether I am right in saying that but would you agree?


Have you thought about talking to her about this? If you come to a decision and decide that you do definitely want to get back with her would you be able to tell her?

Link to comment
o and i would say number 2 from your answers. but if you have moved on would you feel the need at all to do that?


So you would say that she is the tye of person to rub it in?


Maybe you are right then, and it could explain why she never replied again, because she never got the reaction she wanted. I mean, she kept your number after 6 months of NC so she was obviously thinking that she would contact you again at some point.

Link to comment

if i came to that were i knew 100 per cent i would try to get back with her. no i did not think she is the type to try rub it in. she would not have kept my number i just think she remembered it because we used to ring each other while at work on pay phones were we typed the number in that many time that she knows it.


its really 6 months. could it have anything to do with me not having found someone yet? and being jealous she has these new things happening and i am stuck in the same rutt minus a girlfriend?

Link to comment

no its not a massive urge just something that kinda lingering in the back of my mind. i mean she was everything u could want in a girl beautiful, loyal, funny and yet i could not love her the way she loved me.


she always tried to talk about our future and i always changed the subject. when she was pregnant all i kept thinking was i will have to move in with her and that did not make me 100 per cent happy i tried to arrange ways round having to move in with her.

Link to comment

sometimes i think i am ready to love someone else or maybe i am looking someone to fill in the gaps that have been left. i am an insicure person with low self asteem and that done help because when i was with the ex i never felt that i guess she boosted my ego

Link to comment

well i think that it is time for you to let go and move on. I think you would know if you really wanted to be with her by now. Do you go out a lot with friends? Have you ried to improve yourself during the past year?


What do you think makes you have low self esteem? Is it something to do with your appearance or something inside?


Soooo many questions sorry lol

Link to comment

hey no problem glad to answer. its problem frominside i get parioniod about my apperance but am always being told i am goodlooking and people think im looking for compliments when i say look at state of me lol. guess every1 feels like that. currently i amd at night uni learning i have got in to great shape threw training so i am trying to further mysel.


gilrs ask me out just none yet that i fancy. my trouble is i have not the confidence to go up to a girl i fancy and ask them out. i have to learn how to do that. any tips lol? how would u like to be approached by a man?

Link to comment

Eeeek you sound so much like me it is scary!!!!


I guess my problem comes from within too and I have no idea why. Lately though I have tried to adopt the attitude of "if you don't like me how I am then up yours!" lol


Hmmm, that's a question and a half! I am quite shy around people I like if I know they like me too, if I don't think they like me then I am fine talking to them even if I like them myself of that makes any sense. I am more comfortable talking to men who I think aren't interested in me in that way, strangely if i know they like me it makes me more insecure when I am sure it should be working the other way! Crazy eh lol



But to try to answer your question...


I don't think I would be too impressed by cheesy chat up lines or the whole macho thing. Offering a drink wouldn't go down too well with me either as I never accept drinks from men... I suppose just some kind of conversation started would be best in a relaxed atmosphere

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...