murman Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Hello all. my girlfriend of 6 months went away to her home land of Thailand 3 months ago to her parents house to stay the summer and do an internship. she is 30 and goes to an ivy league graduate school and im 25 and work full time. While she was away I took care of her apartment and Tried to collect rent from her roomates who are a couple, one a klepto/drug addict and her husband a pathological liar (seems that way). She also sub-let her room to another couple for the summer who are nice and paid rent. It seems just as she left her roomates who have been there (the klepto and liar) started all kinds of trouble beginning with not paying rent. Then they stole from the couple that was living there. I confronted them and things only got worse. Anyways I got pissed and there was all kinds of drama between me and them and he ended up calling the cops on me threatening harassment charges. since things escalated about a month ago my girlfriend has been pretty distant to me, not saying she misses me and just being irregular in her emails. She also didnt email me for a week. Anyways I have all her stuff, including a check for $10,000. of hers and her stimulus check (she didnt put it in the bank for some reason) and things like her labtop and even her bed. I'm afraid she doesn't want to break up with me because she's afraid im going to do something with her stuff. I can tell she doesnt feel the same way about me in her emails because she is very vague, just emailing me as I were a friend not boyfriend. Should I break off contact and expect her to break up with me? The anxiety of not knowing is really affecting me to the point of getting professional help. Personally, I dont think its fair and her not telling me the whole story is interfering with my 'letting go' process. She avoids the question when I ask her if she needs a ride home from the airport. Shes coming home in 9 days, i still care about her, but i dont know now if i want to be with her but not if she still likes me and is just stressed out.. sorry if this seems vague, I have never been able to portray a situation 100% accurately so please ask questions about specific details. You would be doing me a huge service for your advice and helping to lighten a huge burden. The anxiety and worry is consuming me.. What should I do? break off contact and have my friend return her stuff? i'm worried if I do that I will never know if I screwed up something that has potential I really loved the things we shared while she was here. Please help me. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Do you know when she plans to come back? Tell her that collectinbg the rent from these people is getting out of hand and she has money waiting for her here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murman Posted September 4, 2008 Author Share Posted September 4, 2008 Do you know when she plans to come back? Tell her that collectinbg the rent from these people is getting out of hand and she has money waiting for her here. Yea, we've been through all that, she comes back on the 9th. Shes been gone three months and we were communicating regularly then about a month ago she became really distant in her emails, not saying "I miss you" etc. now she hardly emails me at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lana111 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 shes coming back in 9 days so why not discuss your relationship then. as far as the stress you are getting from being the rent collector... stop doing it. hold the stuff you have already and let her take care of the situation when she returns. it was ridiculous of her to have her bf of a few months take on that responsibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murman Posted September 4, 2008 Author Share Posted September 4, 2008 shes coming back in 9 days so why not discuss your relationship then. as far as the stress you are getting from being the rent collector... stop doing it. hold the stuff you have already and let her take care of the situation when she returns. it was ridiculous of her to have her bf of a few months take on that responsibility. Yea I think she took that step before I did when she stopped communicating. Now my concern is, that i'm being used to hold her stuff and shes delaying breaking up with me because I have her stuff. Should I break off contact and have my roomate give her stuff back to her? also I want to start healing as soon as possible, especially if her intentions were to break up with me a month ago and shes just delaying for selfish reasons. I'm so broken up about this and depressed its hard for me to even get out of bed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lana111 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 well its just a few days so why break it off now? see her when she comes back, give her her stuff, address her being distant, and see where your relationship stands. if things arent right, end it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Just stop emailing her and see what she does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murman Posted September 4, 2008 Author Share Posted September 4, 2008 how about this.. I emailed her last a couple days ago and asked if she needed a ride from the airport. If she doesnt reply, or avoids the question in another email, I just stop talking to her completely and have my roomate email her saying she can get her stuff from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Hello Murman! You seem to be a very good person. In my opinion, the best you can do is trying to have a discussion with her when she'll be back, and I guess she'll stop avoiding things. I'm sorry for you she behaves that way ... Good luck. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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