new relationship and the routine.

[NewPhillyGuy]

So, I'm in a very new relationship - just around 2.5 months of dating and a routine of seeing each other is starting to form. What's been happening is I go to see her one night during the work week and I stay over (she asks me to stay). During the weekend, she's been coming out to my place on Fri night and usually leaves by Sat around dinner time.

 

The idea of the routine scares me a little. I'm sitting here asking myself about the balance - are we seeing each other too much considering we've not been dating too long? Will she become bored of it?

 

I'm also asking myself about date ideas. The last few weeks, things have been the same. I go over her place one night a week - we eat dinner, watch tv, then usually cuddle up and go to bed.

 

When she comes my way, the same usually happens. We have gone out and done things - went to the zoo about two weeks ago. I'm not very big on going out, but I do try to do things often enough so it's not like we're at home all the time.

 

Does this make sense to other people? I'm wondering what thoughts you might have on the "routine" as I call it. How do you find out what's comfortable and if your partner wants more or less?

 

Myself, I don't want to see her more right now. I just want to see how things go over time. I'm happy with how things are right now.

 

I'm sitting here thinking about it, because she's coming over tomorrow night. I don't feel like doing the same old thing, so I'm trying to think of other things to do.

[_Asti_]

The only way to really know is to communicate. Figure out how she's feeling about it. Or just try and spice it up. Make other plans on the weekend with other people and forego the same ol things you do with her. Take a break one weekend from her, or avoid doing the same things over.

 

Will this be temporary?

I know I experienced a little monotony several years ago, in the beginning of my relationship while we both were in school. It was the same thing every Wednesday and Saturday. I actually started questioning my feelings for him, but realized it was just due to a lack of variety and boredom in the relationship.

And once discussing it with him, telling him my feelings, my thoughts on how the relationship was going, we agreed at the time to not see each other unless there was something specific planned. I couldn't deal with him just coming over and watching tv and chilling for hours on end.

So we made a point of thinking of things to do, places to go, things to try etc for the nights we did have together.

Just even giving up a night a week together added so much anticipation to the relationship.

 

Since then its never been an issue. 4 years later, there's no routine, there's always something different, something exciting, something new we're doing, trying, or going.