Gratsy Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I was out with a couple of girls the other night and these guys started to come up to us to flirt. I was attracted to this one guy, who helped me down. I am very shy though, so I look down and I sometimes try to back away from the group. I saw him sort of back away to the back also, so I was wondering if he was also shy. He wasn't doing the cat-call stuff like the other women. Do men like it when women are shy? My friend is very outgoing and she gets guys flirting with her all the time...I'm very subtle and it happens a lot less... ...so do guys find shyness unappealing b/c its associated with insecurity? I've heard some boys say they like shyness b/c they associate it with being demure...I don't really like that. Link to comment
Lionel Hutz Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Well a shy girl is hard to talk to sometimes. They remain guarded if they dont open up right away. This will lead a guy to believe she is very hard to have open up on a date, in a make out session, or sexual interaction. In general, if you are hard to talk to a guy wont waste his time unless he really really really has the hots for you. No eye contact immediately lets me know a girl is not interested and does not want to talk to me. Link to comment
MorrowJ Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I think some guys are turned on by shyness because an outgoing girl would be otherwise too intimidating to pursue. One may associate shyness with a sort of innocence. Alternately, one with a predatorial personality may find shyness attractive in a sense that it would be easier to take control of the woman. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 Thing is, my shyness isn't an indicator of being easy to control, or anything. I have a strong personality, but I am less open then other girls. Link to comment
NowandZen Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Personally, I don't find shyness appealing. I am only one data point, however. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I have always been shy, I make friends through friends generally because I feel alot happier and comfortable that way. I think if a guy really wants to get to know you, everyone... outgoing or not holds back a tiny bit on first encounters.. so if they want to make the effort they will, some wont.... I think men think differently about shyness, depending on their own personalities.. I'm exactly the same with my friend, she is VERY outspoken, loud and confident and gets men flirting with her alotttt. I always seem to be in the background but I don't particularly mind that.. however some men just find her too much... Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 I'm only shy in the beginning, upon the first encounter. After he makes me feel comfortable, it disappears. Link to comment
MorrowJ Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I think men think differently about shyness, depending on their own personalities.. That's exactly what I was getting at. For me, getting to know a shy girl is sorta like cracking a code and getting into that shell. When you succeed, it makes the relationship with that person much more meaningful and intimate. Link to comment
Raiden1044 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 In some women I find shyness to be quite sexy, but it depends to what degree. If the girl is so shy that she refuses to flirt or even talk with me, then I'm probably going to think she's quiet because she isn't interested. On the other hand if she's quiet, but still nice and gives a little conversation, a smile (and maybe a small flirt here or there) then I'll probably stay interested. It can be hard, but you have to put the right signals out there somehow or else how am I going to know? Link to comment
Crush85 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 ...so do guys find shyness unappealing b/c its associated with insecurity? I've heard some boys say they like shyness b/c they associate it with being demure...I don't really like that. I'm not the most outgoing guy (but that changes when I know someone) and I look for the same in girls. A little shyness and ackwardness in the beginning is expected, but if she was shy ALL the time it would be very frustrating. I wouldn't enjoy being with someone like that and if she wouldn't change, then I'd stop seeing her. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 4, 2008 Author Share Posted September 4, 2008 I'm not the most outgoing guy (but that changes when I know someone) and I look for the same in girls. A little shyness and ackwardness in the beginning is expected, but if she was shy ALL the time it would be very frustrating. I wouldn't enjoy being with someone like that and if she wouldn't change, then I'd stop seeing her. I am shy and awkward in the beginning and then I become more outgoing later. Link to comment
tom1607307597 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 personally I like shy girls initially, but the fact that they can be hard to figure out makes it really frustrating. if they can't at least flirt a little bit or show some signs saying they like me I usually just give up and move on. Link to comment
xxNPxx Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 I prefer shy girls because of 2 big reasons. 1. Fidelity, I'm pretty shy and I have a huge ability to be patient. I worry that a girl that has such an easier time with talking to the other sex will cheat because they might find someone "better" which would really piss me off. 2. Because I'm really really shy too. I often open up in about 2 days but I don't start acting like my normal self until about like a month into the relationship, and that is if I feel comfortable. However I won't delve into my "true" self until I feel like it. For some people it's been after about 5 years of trust. Others I have known my whole life and don't feel I can trust them with the information about how I really see myself and how my actions relate to me. Link to comment
shy2cool Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Yes, but not so shy that they are so aloof and don't show any emotion at all. If you blushed/were very nervous around me, I would find that to be very attractive. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 I like shy girls BUT you have to be careful that your shyness does not give off vibes that you are unattainable or uninterested (it often does if you don't give other signals to make up for the shyness). Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 5, 2008 Author Share Posted September 5, 2008 But I'm intelligent and shy. To me, blushing is something that stupid people who can't control themselves do. Nobody knows what I'm thinking. Link to comment
shy2cool Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 But I'm intelligent and shy. To me, blushing is something that stupid people who can't control themselves do. Nobody knows what I'm thinking. You mean that you show no insecurities? That may come off as appearing to being snobbish, sadly. According to you, I must be a stupid person then! Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 You mean that you show no insecurities? That may come off as appearing to being snobbish, sadly. According to you, I must be a stupid person then! No, you misunderstand me. Link to comment
emeraldina Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 how can you control blushing?? ... it just happens and one can't hide it most of the time... about being shy .. I am one of those .. but I usually have enough courage to flirt a little bit anf smile and have a good sense of humour .. so I find that I make up for my awkward/shy/don't-know-what-to-say beginnings .. most guys hang around and get to know me .. those who don't .. I conclude they're lookin for an easy pass and I don't give that Link to comment
Gratsy Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 I don't want to discuss controlling blushing for another fifty posts, just fyi for anyone else thinking about posting about it. Link to comment
michelangelo Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I find shyness attractive, but not when it is overexpressed, because too much of it makes a woman seem uninterested like LanceVanceDance pointed out above. I do not associate shyness with insecurity at all. Link to comment
ProtestTheHero Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 But I'm intelligent and shy. To me, blushing is something that stupid people who can't control themselves do. Nobody knows what I'm thinking. That attitude in all honesty is probably part of the problem. I'm guessing few people would label your shyness as insecurity...they probably just find you incredibly aloof, which would definitely all but kill any chances of being approached. Link to comment
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