Lifelong Bottled up Anger.

[MichaelK]

Hello, i'm new to this forum, purely because i feel the need to get this out into the open or generally have an unbiased somebody to talk to / get some advice from. I'm 16 years old and this is pretty much an issue that i have had my whole life, it has also unfairly effected my life and others, because of this history i will have to explain the scenario slightly

 

I have a mother who, for my whole life, has done nothing but lie to me and try to brainwash me into hating the rest of my family. An example of this is, my whole family (my aunties, uncles, grandparents, my real dad who i recently found) have been telling me, when i ask them about it that my mum moved out on her own accord, i assume, because she was generally spoilt at the age of 16

 

Well, my whole life, whenever i was seeing my grandparents from like the age of 1 to 10, my mother was constantly saying to me how she was kicked out of the house and that nobody loved her etc, trying to make me think the same.

 

 

From the age of 5 to 14, i did never ever see my real father. I remember the last time i saw him and also remember the times when i was, say, 6 years old wondering when i would see him again. Truth is, and even i can remember it vaguely, my mother was completely unfair to him (i am certain of this becauseof the way she had been treating me and the rest of the family).

 

He is a carpenter so he really did not manage to stick to very strict schedules, i remember one time from me being 4 years old, would you believe it, 12 years ago, of me playing with my dad. However, he would sometimes come late because he was, of course a carpenter (he didn't live with us since my mother hated him). At one point, my mum had stopped him from seeing me because he was late several times. Effectively using me as a weapon.

 

I remember him waiting outside the house for hours, after which she even called the police to get him to go away. That was the last time i saw my dad until i found him again at the age of 14.

 

During my childhood, my mother had gotten with another guy when i was 5, who she married and changed my name accordingly, apparently sending sarcastic messages to his house when it happened. He was afraid of trying to find me because she would always call the police - we moved house about 4 times over 4 years. My stepfather once told me, that he had put my real father in hospital because of how (muh, don't want to swear) 'bad' he had been to my mum. Of course, i found out that wasn't true when i was 14.

 

They were both lying to me, trying to brainwash me throughout my whole life.

 

At the age of 10, i moved in with my grandparents, due to reasons i will not go into fully (my step brothers had bite marks on them, i got blamed, i got taken doctors, i denied, i got dropped off / abandoned onto my grandparents doorstep). During the 4 years, my mum would always ask for money off my Nan, my nan would even end up giving her it, over the 4 years, she has been given maybe £1000 or more (my nan works, as does my grandad, they're only a few years from retiring as i type this now).

 

When i met my dad at 14, i found out a lot of truth, and now recently he was phoned up by a child support company as to why he hasn't been giving money to my mum - to pay for me. (i assume through confusions since i moved).

 

It has come to my knowledge now that my mum has been given £50 a week, every week, for 6 years (when i moved to my nan's at 10 till now) from my dad - whom she still has the cheek to lie about.

 

My nan even gave her loads of money - my mother's only weapons are her LIES, her FAKE CRYING and her CHILDREN. My bottled up anger is going through the roof, i have not let it effect my education, i am going to continue education also but - i am so pissed off i need to confront my mother and show her what a liar and scheming woman she is. Effectively, money that was supposed to be given to my grandparents, wasn't, she kept his money all to herself - about £14,000 in total.

 

She is the type of mother who slapped me accross the face because she asked me to get her some Cereal - i got her it but it was the 'wrong one'. I have been both mentally and physically abused by my mum and step dad until the age of 10 where my feelings for her have almost turned into revenge - it is so frustrating.

 

If you have had enough time to read through all this - any advice would be greatly appreciated, i don't know what would be the best thing to do, i even managed to let her 're-brainwash' me as she spent a whole night lying to me. (She even lied to my face about the child support money).

 

In about a week an investigation is going to start up (my dad wants to know) about where his £50 a week for 6 years has been going..if it's to her then she's in trouble.

 

Any advice would be greately appreciated and thankyou for your time - Michael.

[Seraphim]

Hi Michael. I am sorry for your situation. Have you tried to talk to a counsellor about all this?? It sometimes helps to get all your feelings out with someone who has ideas on how to help. Have you tried writting down how you feel?? Write a letter to your mom but you do not have to send it, but just to bring you peace of mind.