Jump to content

We like each other, but things are going slowly...what's next?


Recommended Posts



So here it goes...


I am a military instructor in one of the field intelligence courses. Every few months we get both men and women to join. 3 Months ago I met this girl who was a soldier of mine, of course during the course we were in full "distance", but at the end of the course the soldiers decided to have a little party and invited all the instructors. That night she was all over me (It might be the alcohol, I am not sure... ^_^ ) and we really got close. We have great chemistry together.


To be sure if she really was interested I asked her friend about it the next day. The answer was positive.

Since then we have been talking on the phone on a regular basis. I asked her a few times out, but that didn't work out (one time I had stay at the base for the weekend and the other time she already made some other plans).


This was the point I got some doubts on where this was going to.


Now, a friend of mine (also an instructor) who talks once in a while with her (the girl I like) friend, asked her if she knows I have a crush on her friend (of course without my permission). She replied: "Yes, she know." So, he asked: "What about her? Does she has a crush on him". She replied: 'Yes, also".


At this point, I knew at least that it was worth to go on.


All this was around a month ago. Since then, I haven't call her too often. I asked her out (again), but she already agreed to visit her father for the weekend (Her parent are divorced).


A few days ago, I went to visit her at her base. I got like 6 soldiers there, so it wasn't only for her, but yes it was the main reason. =)

It was really, meeting all soldiers, and she was also very happy to see me, though we didn't have to chance to talk much, because she had a lot of work. Eventually, I had to leave, so we said goodbye with a hug and kiss (On the cheek of course, I'm not talking about a French one). And she apologized that she was too busy.


Since than, I have been thinking madly about her. I like her so much, but I really don't know where this is going to.

I am not sure if I should ask her out again, because it will just hurt me if I get a negative answer.

I thought of asking her friend again if she is still interested, because I am not sure about that right now.


What should be the best solution? Am I going too fast with this (It has been 2 Months since we started to talk on a regular basis)?


My personal opinion, would to ask her out once more next week (this week she stays at the base).


Any suggestions and recommendation are welcome.

I am really stuck.


By the way, I am 20 years old and she is 19.

Link to comment



First off, it's not a good idea to go around asking her friends about her. If you want to know something, ask her yourself. If you are curious if she is interested in you, ask her out on a date. You don't want to be too mushy and dramatic by asking her if she likes you, that's a bit awkward. Just ask her on a date. If she is interested in you then she will say yes and you won't look quite so silly and unconfident as you do if you start asking others about her.


Secondly, actions speak louder than words. It doesn't matter to me if all of a girls friends say that she likes me, if her actions aren't showing me this then I am going to move on. In this situation, she seems a little to hard to get to go out on a date. Maybe you aren't asking strong enough, but then again maybe she's really not that interested and is brushing it off with excuses.


No girl worth being with is going to avoid a guy she likes. If she does, she's not worth the time. It shouldn't be a chore to get an interested girl out on a date.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...