BabyLolli Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I am a 20 years old, recently i just given birth 2 months ago. After recovering from my wound, I wanted to have the sex life like we have had before my pregnancy like 1 or 2 times a week. But i found that my hubby didnt come to me like he used to be. It must be everytime i suggested or i start it first. I couldnt control it and asked him. Guess what he told me? He said that after watch me giving birth, he lossed the appetite for me. I am so sad. I lost my figure after giving birth and there are ance outbreak after that. I know i am not pretty anymore. I really feel very depressed. I have no self confident in myself now. I always thought that i would be the prettiest in his heart. But i asked him he told me that "Yucks! Why Do You Look So Ugly Now?" I am trying very means to make him feel on. Although in the end we ended up having sex but i am still very disappointed in myself. I feel useless and helpless. Can anyone give me advice on how to turn my guy ON ON ON? Please Help~!!! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Your husband needs to be more supportive instead of telling you you look ugly. Its not so much a matter of turning him on. You need to loose the extra baby weight and try and work on an acne cure, creams etc, not because you HAVE to look pretty but I think getting your pre birth looks back will make you feel more confident and be able to turn him on more. Plus your husband should love you no matter what and no matter what you look like. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Oh god this is terrifying me!! I'm only 2 1/2 months pregnant and I already feel gross! The only advice I can offer is to concentrate on you and getting your self image and confidence back. Get your hair done, start with walks a couple of times a day (take the baby with you), get your nails done and a pedicure. Hit the tanning salon. Buy yourself a new outfit that looks good on you now. And set goals for yourself. For right now, I would not even want to have sex with him and I'd focus on myself and doing what makes me feel good about me. I know he's your husband, but since he cannot be supportive, to hell with him for the moment. Prioritize. Once you are happy and confident about yourself and your body image, you will be beautiful to everyone! Good luck! Cat Link to comment
Tezza Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Plus your husband should love you no matter what and no matter what you look like. ^ I totally agree, you just gave birth to his child, it is not fair on you that he says these things, he married you for better or for worse, if anything he should be supportive of you... Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 >>'But i asked him he told me that "Yucks! Why Do You Look So Ugly Now?" Well actually, this problem is also his own lack of compassion and sensitivity. You just had a baby for heaven's sake, HIS baby and he should be more respectful of this and the toll it took on your body than making you feel terrible about it. If you work at it, you can return yourself to being fit and trim again, but he needs to grow up and be a good husband, not a little boy. Don't let him make you feel worse about it. He should feel ashamed of himself kicking you when you're feeling down. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 From a mans point of view: I can't believe he said that to you. Your looks may have changed but you are still the same person and more. You are now a mommy and a wife. I don't think your looks defined you before getting pregnant and they shouldn't define you now. Myself I did worry that it would be different after my wife had my son and that I might hurt her so I did feel a little concerned. I think he needs to step up and act like a man not a 15 yr old. If he is that shallow and hurtful, how much help will he be with your new baby? Time to express to him how his words have hurt you and made you feel. Having a baby can be a stressful time for the whole family so don't hessitate to seek help from family and friends. Congrats on the new Baby! lost Link to comment
Brokenhearted1607307810 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 There are many men who feel the same as yours after seeing their partner give birth, same as there are some men who are uncomfortable having intercourse whilst you are pregnant. That will pass, however his comments about your appearance are out of order. Does he want a partner and mother to his child or a supermodel ? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 There are many men who feel the same as yours after seeing their partner give birth, same as there are some men who are uncomfortable having intercourse whilst you are pregnant. That will pass, however his comments about your appearance are out of order. Does he want a partner and mother to his child or a supermodel ?[/quote This is true seeing a birth can make them kind of quesy. His comments about your body are TOTALLY not called for If he did not want your body to change then he should have not had a baby with you. He really needs to examine his own selfishness and immaturity. Link to comment
BabyLolli Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 i did do somethings to make myself like wad i used to be. I went to colour my hair, he said i waste money. I went for manicure and he said de same things. I know there will be emotion inbalance when a guy see their partner give birth thats why i am trying to help him to regain. I see no reason for him to comment such things on me. i relly feel like crying. He is 10 years older than me and i am trying my best to be a good mother and wife. i am really trying. I confronted him but he just fall asleep. I m so sad and confuse. Anyway i can help him? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Yes, only what I would be tempted to say I would be banned for. I think maybe you could both go to counselling about it. Link to comment
BabyLolli Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 I really hope all of you will give me some advice to help improve our sex life. Link to comment
kenshinkitten Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Before you can improve your sex life you both need to work on your relationship. The physical isn't happening because he is being a jerk, I hate to say it because he is your husband but before you can have a good sex life you need to have a good living together, being married life. If he thinks you are gross or ugly that is not ok and having a good sex life won't change that. Maybe talk to a professional about this. The sex will come when the two of you work this out and he stops saying these things to you, birth is natural there are side effects tell him to get over it. Link to comment
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