Why did he do this?

[sad_n_kunfuzed]

Hey guys i'm kinda new here and this is My first post, To start off with guess i'll tell alittle bit about me. I'm 16 and I had been dating my bf for alittle over a month on up til a couple hours ago when he broke up with me. You guys are probably saying, yeah yeah break ups happen everyday, but I guess the reason i'm coming here is hoping that someone can help me understand WHY.

I was raped a year ago by a "friend", and last night my bf and I were talking and things got personal (I had told him before that I've had some things happen to me that I would prefer not talk about) well last night I guess he made me feel comfortable talking to him and I opened up about alot of things, the rape being the biggest thing. My bf got all sad and was being supportive I guess you could say and he said that he'd be there for me. Well, here I sit now. I don't understand things were perfect last night and now all of a sudden my bf doesn't think things are going to work between us. And I know it's because I told him about the rape. So, of course right now I feel like nothing. I'm crying and I cant help myself! Now I totally regret telling my Bf about what happened Because I feel that if I would ahve never told him he would have never broken up with me.

Could someone Please help me put things together, Was I wrong for telling him and is it better that I keep this to myself? I mean, He is the only person that knows. I haven't told my parents or anyone. So i'm just so hurt and in a way I'm not sure why but I feel betrayed because he said he wouldnt look at me different and wouldnt feel differently towards me and I know that's exactly why he did what he did I'm just confused!!!

Thanks for listening.

 

*Sad -n- Kunfuzed*

[MrKawabata]

Hi,

I think you were right telling your boyfriend about the rape. Rape is an issue for a guy in a relationship, and you were right to be honest with him about it and you were right for respecting his feelings by telling him, how difficult that would have been for you.

 

It is unfortunate that he treats you differently now when he said that he would be there for you, and that is disappointing. But I can understand him being overwhelmed by the situation, too.

 

I hope you come to find a young man who accepts you and loves you unconditionally. Feel free to PM me if you wish.

[musicguy]

sad_n_kunfuzed, Welcome to enotalone. Sorry about what happened to you.

You were right in being honest with him about your rape. I don't know why he said that you and he aren't going to work out, that's pretty dumb of him to say, especially when you opened up to him about something traumatic that happened to you. My girl was raped 4 months ago and I've been supportive of her recovery ever since it happened. It's hard for some people to understand and deal with someone who's been raped. It can be a lot to think about and sometimes difficult to help someone whos been in a traumatic situation. Maybe he didn't know how to handle the situation..anyway, I hope that you find someone who will be there for you thru thick and thin. Good luck and PM me if you need anything.

 

Musicguy

[whitefang]

Greetings sad_n_kunfuzed,

 

Welcome to eNotAlone.com.

 

I sorry to hear what's happened to you. I agree with the others, im glad to see that you have told your bf, it does help alot to have someone to talk too. Three of my best friends (girls) were raped a while ago and i tell you they amount of emotions that pour out when something like this has happened it's better that you are honest about what had happened.

 

It's sad to hear that he's turned that way and isn't supporting you as a bf should but i can understand him being told this, it's must of been pretty overwhelming for him and too much to handle as the others said.

 

I would suggest getting your friends together and go and have fun, go shopping or to the cinema just have fun. I hope you meet the right person who will love you for who you are and provide as much support for you.

 

"There's someone out there for all of us, we just have to look a little further".

 

Best of Luck too you, if you wana talk you can always pm me (i'd give you a hug, but i can't reach out of the monitor... lol ).

 

- whitefang

[summerdreams]

hi, i'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I think maybe your bf just didn't know what to think about you being raped and got scared from it and didn't know how to deal. Maybe you should try talking to him and see what's bothering him... Also, you said that he was the only one who knew...rape isn't something you should have to deal with alone. It must have been a very horrible experience for you and i don't think it's a good idea to keep that kind of thing from your parents. You should consult an adult or someone you trust so that you can talk about it and get some things off your mind . Getting help isn't something to be ashamed of....