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ex's birthday is in 45 minutes!!!


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shiz... we've been broken up for one month... NC since 2 weeks ago... i want her back - even though i don't think we'd end up getting married... not without at least being able to compromise on the things that pulled us apart, first.


my question... do i call, do i text, do i continue NC? we lived together last year... and, her 2 birthdays i've shared with her prior - i've made absolutely the most amazing for her. i want her to understand life without me - but, i don't want to piss her off by blatantly ignoring her. what's the best way to go?



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giving it too much thought, stick with NC, she will be more devastated as to why you didn't NC


you texting her is a sign you still remember, you still care, you are still there waiting for me


let it go and don't look back, reconciliation may be in the future, but for now, give her all the space in the world


your actions speaks louder than words, i'm not sure what terms you are on, but i'm sure she is cold and doesn't want to speak to you


your turn to be strong and stick with NC, she will miss your affection and caring


it's not a jerk move, it's simply what's best for you


texting her will set you back, regardless of what you say


you said you want her back, so you will hurt after sending it


don't take a step back, take a step forward by not doing it!


as soon as she left, your affection and thoughts are not on her, spend them on you! or at least fake it till you make it

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how about this...

how about if i text her around 1030pm? generally around when she goes to bed... that way, she has all day to think about whether or not i'm going to write her - and, i still maintain NC for 22.5 hours of the day... and, i'll at least go down on record as having wished her a happy bday. man, i want this chick to call me and fix crap.

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People over think this 'happy birthday' thing way too much. Any potential reconciliation down the road will have absolutely zero to do with whether you wished her happy birthday or not.


Right now, you need to focus on your healing and making you feel good again. So, stop thinking about this in terms of how your ex will react and start thinking about it in terms of how you'll feel with each course of action. Do what you feel most comfortable with. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, this is a rather insignificant thing.

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this is a silly question but - what do i do if i want the best chance of getting her back? let her experience this bday without me at all - or, at least text?


Look, there isn't anything you can do or say to change her mind. She's made her choice to walk, when she did that, she chose to leave you and your affection.


You are now single, live with it, use the time and emotions you have to better yourself, the more you analyze the situation or scheme ways to get her back, you will ultimately FAIL and endure more hurt.


Don't draw this out any further than it has to, she knows you care, but do you want her to know that you're still around after she broke your heart? Do you want to be her doormat and condition her that if she does something bad, you will be there no matter what and reward her for her actions.


I seriously hope you didn't go through with it, you will end up hurting if she doesn't reply and if things don't go the way you want.


I would say, for the biggest chances of reconciliation, give that person what they want. Space and time away from you, let this person enjoy life without you, if they want you back, they will come on their accord, not because you planned or schemed to get them back. Be a bigger person and let go.


Enjoy the singles' life, other girls out there! Now is the time to use this breakup as a rebirth of a better you. If she comes back, then she comes back, but don't wait around for somebody who showed you she doesn't want you. She walked, if somebody walks away from you, LET THEM GO.


Here is a sermon that helped me, listen to it and apply the knowledge to your life. Knowledge isn't anything until it's applied.


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Good luck with your journey.

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i sent her a text.


'hey, paste. happy birthday.'


(paste is short for 'pasty') - my nickname for her. oh well. just didn't want to be the arsehole that did nothing... compared to previous years together, she'll look at this and realize how different her life is whether or not i send the text. i hope she realizes soon, though

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I seriously, don't get you, and this is a trifle harsh.


You knowingly and encouragingly forced her to dump you. She did.


You moved away from her and told her to stay put. She agreed.


You stated you did NOT see a future with her. She then moved on with her life.


Meanwhile, you berate her health issues here saying how they disgusted you. You also state how you've the got the hots for some young lawyer you just met.


When you're told to leave her alone so she can continue to heal from the break-up YOU wanted, you don't.


To me? Seems a bit selfish...


I hope for her sake she ignores the text and continues to move forward. She deserves better than a guy who is wishy-washy about his wants especially as you head into residency years.

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thanks for the response. let me clarify some issues at hand.


i did not 'knowingly' force her to dump me. rather, i did what i thought was the appropriate and mature decision to move away while maintaining the relationship. of the 3 weekends in which we dated after the move, i drove 2X - 9 hours round trip to see her on consecutive weekends. the only reason i didn't bring her along, is that i thought it would have suggested a greater level of commitment in the relationship *(at that particular time). sure, i questioned getting married to her... but, probably no more so than anyone else does when they decide to settle down.


next, i never told her that i didn't see a future together. i'm not quite sure where you picked up that knowledge, but - had that been cast towards her, i'd be very understanding of the response. actions do, however, speak louder than words and it was truly up to me.


furthermore, i don't have the 'hots' for this lawyer girl. i did schedule a date for this evening knowing it was my ex's bday. and, you know what.... it went F*ing awesome. sure, she could be classified as a rebound... but, she's wicked smart, quick, and funny. so, this ex of mine.. if i continue to meet chicks of the same caliber, will be gone.

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so, i finally did get a reply - this am with, "Thank you.


just as i suspected... didn't want to interrupt her day with thoughts of the relationship - honestly, had such a good time with this chick yesterday - made me realize that even though i loved my former gf very much... i'm still capable of being liked/loved by others worthy of sharing my love. (not in love with her, yet - but...)


oh, btw - this chick yesterday made out with me and then was like, 'so, are you ready for a relationship?' and i was like, 'ummm - maybe at some point.'


JC !!! its been ONE date... ease up wo-man.

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