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Trying to get the love of my life back


jl301
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First I like to thank all those who are reading my story and that I do hope that everyone comment and give me their opinion of what they think about, I would really appreciated.

I have dated this girl for about almost two years. We were really happy together and that we thought about marriage and that I knew that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. However, I was hiding things from her. Bascially I wasn't being honest with her front to get go. I lied to her that my parents were rich and that we were well off and that we have all these wonderful things. I bascially created fantasy world that I have created. I guess I said all those things because I guess I have really low-self esteem about myself and I thought by saying things like that it may be feel good inside because that I have impressed someway. I thought she would like me more, if I said all those things. But is not true at all, she loves me no matter what. It kill her when she discover the truth about me. She was so hurt and she said that our two year relationship that was bascially a lie. I don't mean it at all, I really do love her and that I would never hurt her. But with all the lies I said. I have hurt her so deep. We have broken up for about 5 months now and it has been longest five months of my life. I can't stop thinking about her and us. I have changed myself and that really I want to be focus about my life and not day dream about the things, but actually and go work for them. I miss her so much and that I want her back so bad. I have beg, cried, and everything that you can't think of. When someone is desperated to get their love one back. It really doesn't work. However, there is something else too. She is applying to go dental school for this coming fall. She bascially deciding whether she wants stay here at home or go off to Boston for school. I am so afraid that she will go. But in my heart I believe that she will stay. We been talking once every two or three weeks. The last time we talk, she says that she really want to give us an chance, but she is just really afraid that she wll get hurt again. She says she wants to feel natural and not her being pushed into it. I know I have begged and cried to much about asking her to come back. But I have laid off and just let her have some space. But it is really difficult because I miss her so much and plus Valentine day is coming also. What does everyone think? Do I have an chance to get her back. I want to be honest is that I truly love this girl. She made me feel so great inside and that I am so comfortable around her. I told her that I can't change what I have done in the past, but I sure can do something about the future. I just want an chance to prove it.

" JUST ONE MORE CHANCE"

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Hi jl301,

 

Thank you for posting to eNotalone.com and sharing your question with us.

 

As for one point of view, I would like to give you mine. I think it will take a lot of patience for you to get back to her, IF that at all is going to happen. She says you might, so that is something you might want to hold on to. I have to tell you, though that you will need a LOT of patience to make it work. I hope you understand that she has trust issues with you that she really need to overcome. That is not being done overnight, unfortunately. That will take a lot of time.

 

You have to see for yourself how long you would want to wait for her and how patient you are going to be. Just bear in mind: The only obligation YOU have in life is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy. I am not sure if you would want to wait forever.

 

I hope this reply helps you a little. I wish you good luck.

 

~ SwingFox ~

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Swingfox has a good point here(as usual). This girl is going to have some trust issues with you in the future. The important thing is to have patience, understanding, and communication. This will be hard work to get yourself back to where you were...but nothing is impossible. She sounds like she loves yu a lot and want to give you another chance. Maybe make a deal with her by telling her that if you are ever to lie again, that would be risking losing her alltogether and forever. If you lie, you cannot fight her leaving you and you will accept it because it was your mistake. This should also keep you from telling any untruths because you will be fearful of losing her. Honesty is SO important in a relationship. You need to train yourself to not lie anymore. Maybe this is the way to do so. Promise her that you will never be untrue and if you are, you are aware of the consequences. Be aware that nothing will just change overnight...it will be quite some time before she will be able to fully trust again. One last thing I would like to add is that you expressed that you are insecure and that was the reason for the lies. Try to work on that within yourself as well. The more you accept and love yourself for who you ARE, the better quality of life you will have. This, too, takes time, but the results are sweet in the end.

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im not saying you will DEFINTELY get her back. but you do have a chance. you truly do need to give her her space. she needs to know what life will be like without you. if she truly loved you...she will miss you and be miserable and she will come to the realization that she needs you in her life and she will come back. she needs to come to this conclusion on her own though. you cant tell her and you cant be begging her back or try to force the issue. that will backfire on you. what you have to do is get your life in order...that will make you seem more attractive. i understand why you lied to her...you wanted her to care about you. but you need to get over your lying and your insecurity issues. she needs to be able to love you for you...not a fictional you. and since she knows the "ugly" truth now...if she still loves you for you...then work with that. your relationship will be different...but it has the potential to be better because you will feel loved by someone that accepts you for you and not someone you have to act to be. give her time though. let her process this on her own timeframe. i hope the best for you.

 

ms

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