Why do I have such trouble communicating with people?

[BoddenProBowler06]

This has been a problem I've had for years. I'll get to know somebody and it will be all fine and dandy at first because we're just beginning to talk so I have a lot to say. I tend to be very sarcastic and quick witted as well. Then a couple days later after talking each day, I'll meet up again and have nothing to say. I'll just have the usual "How's your day?", "How's school?", etc. and nothing else will come to my mind.

 

There's this girl I've known for about 2 years now and we've dated off and on. We started talking again and I'm finding myself have this problem with her. It's really bothering me because I like her A LOT, and I think she's becoming bored of me. I'll just sit there with nothing to say but I really do want to talk to her. While I'm with my family, this really isn't a problem because it's my family and I'm used to them...

 

I think it stems back to my childhood when I was really shy and got picked on a lot. I didn't really say a word or have many friends. This could be why I'm like this. I'd just like to change the person I am and become more talkative...

[dothk]

I have the same problem too.

 

I was shy when i was small and got picked on lots of time. I wasn't talkative so it was so hard to make friends. I am 23 now but still facing the same problem. I think u just need to make more friends, meet new people and be more open to them. Then u will be more talkative.

[xxNPxx]

I think u just need to make more friends, meet new people and be more open to them. Then u will be more talkative.

 

But you need to be more talkative to make more friends and meet new people

 

THAT'S NOT A SOLUTION!!!

 

Your advice is : You will be more talkative when you talk more... That's not a logical solution to the problem, just twisting his words.

 

But anyways, back to the opening post. I have the same problem, I either don't care or space out and can't think of anything. I would suggest memorizing things that you might be able to say in random situations that could lead to more interesting conversation. People say to shy away from politics, religion, and sex, but I say go for it if it makes great discussion. Remember something is better then nothing. Read the news then talk about something in it! That way you'll get just enough brain power to come up with some other things to say and get the conversation rollin!

[ObliqueApproach]

Same feelings here.

Once I've gone over all the "what do you do"-s and "what's your favorite this and that"-s over the course of the first 1-2 hours, there seems to be nothing left to talk about. Sex? Um, no, we've just met. Religion? Boring, especially if we both are atheists. Politics? Even many guys are not into that. With friends it's so much easier, any random comment can spark a long discussion. Don't know why it doesn't work with new acquaintances.