None of my business / What's the world coming to

[d24]

Another one of these "it's none of your business" threads with a bit of a twist, which I feel a little concerned about. Kinda makes me wonder what the world is coming to.

 

I have some drinking buddies who occasionally bring along friends etc etc you know the score. Friend of a friend deal here. Well I was sitting in the local (not a dive at all, quite nice actually) and I meet a couple of these guys. One I know directly and I suppose he's sort of a friend (in a loose sense), the other indirectly and can't remember if I've met him before or not. Since I was alone waiting for my gf I decided to sit with them and have a chat.

 

To my surprise their topic was prostitutes. I was a little shocked, but these guys were talking about having sex with them like it was no problem at all. The guy I didn't know was telling his friend in detail how one woman he'd recently had sex with was the greatest thing ever and that my 'friend' should definitely 'take her out for a ride'. to my shock he agreed and took her number. (!?!) Then started talking about missing the good old days, and asking me if, when I was in Uni, I did the whole prostitute scene or not. I thought they were joking at first but when I realised they weren't I got a little uncomfortable and just listened. It was like a car crash - you couldnt help but look (/listen).

 

I know this guy though, my acquainance, has a wife and a 2 year old son. I'm not aware of any problems they're having, any breakup whether current or impending - and I thought he was a normal guy. I was offered the number too. It was like being handed a cigarette when you're 12 years old - it felt like immense peer pressure. I actually took it fr a second, but put it down on the bar saying I didn't need it I have a loving girlfriend.

 

Then the most disturbing thing happened. They both tried talking me into it saying how it helps their relationships and it's actually a good thing because it puts less strain on their partners, and how they're safe and it's just sex etc etc. I couldn't believe what I was hearing...

 

I made my excuses a couple minutes later as my gf walked in (saved!!) but i mean come on?!

 

three or four questions come to mind since then.

 

- prostitution is definitely illegal isnt it? so should i have taken the number and reported it to the police? or would they have just done nothing/laughed?

- how could anyone justify cheating as good for them if they're in a commited / serious relationship? where's the trsut / fidelity?

- does cheating really mean that little in society these days? how can a woman be happy receiving money for being intimate.

 

more importantly

 

- why do i attract such low life people when i go out meeting groups? i mean seriously, i've got maybe 2 friends who i deem normal. the others are all racists, sexists, cheaters, losers, etc... i'm tollerant yeah, but i dont know what it is. i meet a nice guy, turns out he's a neo-nazi. i join a football team and they're all into drugs. i go out for a drink, they're encouraging me to sleep with a prostitute.

 

i seriously must be WAY too tolerant or trustworthy and they tell me these things i dont want to know... or i'm a bad person magnet. or maybe i'm a bad person too and i dont know it. maybe part of me believes what theyre saying, but i really dont think it's the case. i dont know what it is

 

it's mostly a rant... but i was just shocked at the conversation / justification. wondered if anyone else has had similarly surreal moments?

[thejigsup]

In most places, it's illegal. But if you called the police and they did anything about it (they have to be caught in the act) she would have posted bail and been out in a couple of hours. When she went to court, a slap on the wrist. There are more serious crimes out there than prostitution and the police spend their time on those. As far as cheating goes, yeah, it's pretty common these days. I knew a couple of girls when I was younger who were "working girls". It didn't seem to bother them at all. They had serious boyfriends or girlfriends and they both got married and had kids. I suppose it's a career like any other. I wouldn't want to do that, but they would have said my job was the pits.

[Mutley]

"What's the world coming to"

 

 

You're asking that about the "worlds oldest profession????"

 

(but men in commited relationships shouldn't be using that service (IMHO)).

 

ps it SHOULD be legal amongst consenting adults in the US of A, but it's not.

[greensleeves]

Then the most disturbing thing happened. They both tried talking me into it saying how it helps their relationships and it's actually a good thing because it puts less strain on their partners, and how they're safe and it's just sex etc etc. I couldn't believe what I was hearing...

 

They're kidding themselves if they believe this line of bs...I wonder how much strain it will put on their partners when they find out their husbands are seeing prostitutes? What a couple of losers.

 

You sound like a decent guy and not everyone is going to share your values and morals, but there are many, many people who do. Just keep doing what you do and you'll find like minded people to share friendship with.

[tangi39]

Hold your head high knowing you are a better man than they are.

 

It's really sad that people will do things that horrible and disrespectful to their partners and think nothing of it.

 

I have to wonder if these men would feel fine with their women going off and having sex with young attractive men, be told they are better partners than thier husbands and then have their women say "It's good for their relationship"- Especially if they end up bringing STD'd home.

 

It always amazes me the amount of men who expect their wife to be faithful while they go off and have sex with everything that walks.

 

Women have sexual needs/desires too !

[mrmaximum]

I bet money that at one point in time or another EVERY man is going to hear that talk. I hear you, tux, it shakes your faith in people when you come accross a revealtion such as this and makes you wonder just how many of them are there? Greensleeves, as for the fact that they believe that it improves their marriage, yes these 'men' really do believe it and will argue tooth and nail about it too. It has me shaking my head sometimes and I truly feel sorry for women because there are just so many of these 'men' lurking around.

[d24]

thats exactly what i mean mrmax, they seemed so dead-set that it was the way things should be, and they didn't seem to be the slightest bit remorsful which shocked me the most. it really does make you wonder what is happening these days. i know prostitution has always been around but it doesnt make it right. it's personal choices, but when your choice of going to one of these can affect your partner (male or female) there's something very sick and wrong about it. then to try to justify it?

 

call me niave but i always thought prostitution these days was for fat cat millionaires or for those who had addiction problems. not for two twenty something year old guys who have decent jobs and loving partners.

 

i got them thinking a little when i told them you can catch ghonnoreah and herpes from oral sex, but they insist that "they wouldnt be doing that if they had that". dont they think to themselves (above the overriding fact that theyre invovled and it's illeghal) that she probably sees what? 10 guys a day or something? I don't know. All it takes is for ONE of them to give her something, and everyone afetr that is 'screwed'.

 

What i was saying about my friends was that i dont know why i keep attracting these kind of people. i'm a decent guy adn like i said i'm pretty tollerant. maybe thats it? they think "oh he's trustworthy and tollerant maybe he shares my values and i should invite him to a coke party/prostitute/white power meeting.

 

*sighs*

[LanceVanceDance]

thats exactly what i mean mrmax, they seemed so dead-set that it was the way things should be, and they didn't seem to be the slightest bit remorseful which shocked me the most. it really does make you wonder what is happening these days.

 

Just wanted to say this kind of behaviour has been around forever. So it's not specific to "these days", you're just beginning to see it now.

[misspiggyfire]

Why do you think most stag dos go to Amsterdam!

[SimplySasha]

- does cheating really mean that little in society these days? how can a woman be happy receiving money for being intimate.

 

I agree wtih Mutley... prostitution is the worlds oldest profession, the world hasn't changed much in that aspect . In the US of A however, it is legal in Reno, Nevada, as well as indoors in New Hampshire. Don't ask me, I didn't write the rules on that.

 

Some women are perfectly happy receiving money for sexual favors. Personally I don't advocate prostitution, but I can see where a quick favor in return for cash or goods would be an easy lifestyle. The woman is just using what she already has. The business is like an extension of a kissing booth.

 

In the places where prostituion is legalized, it is regulated also. There are STD checks, and such. Its a lot safer that way should a person choose that sort of entertainment.

[d24]

it's not legal and as far as i know it's not checked in the uk which makes me wonder.

 

yes like i said maybe i was a bit more niave a couple days ago than i am now, but i cant help but be shocked when i learn about these things. i mean sure maybe its been going on around me and i've been happily oblivious to it, but i liked it better that way.

my world, if nothing else, has changed now. and i'm not comfortable knowing that it's so 'easy' and 'normal' to see and use one? Like someone else said, maybe it's morals. I have them, some people dont.

 

Should I feel bad though for judging those who don't have morals? I don't think that's fair on me, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I shouldn't judge?

 

.. the amsterdam thing - yeah i know about the red light district, but i wonder why any man would want to go there. maybe i'm weird/different, and i'm the one who's not 'normal' here, but the idea of visiting prostitutes worries me. going to see one would never cross my mind, i'm not and havent been that desperate for gratification, and i don't understand those that are.

 

so again, maybe it's that? fear of the unknown?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

These men will think it's great until their wives find out and divorce them. Or until they get arrested for soliticiting a prostitute and their wives find out and divorce them. Or they catch a nasty STD and their wives find out and divorce them...

 

In other words, they are arrogant and cocky about it now, but eventually they have a very good chance of discovering the downside of prostitution.

 

It may be the world's oldest profession, but it just isn't something that they can pretend is a normal activity for married men. Many man do it, but many also get caught and destroy their lives over it. Most women will absolutely not stay with a man they know is seeing prostitutes out of disgust and fear of he diseases they carry.

 

They're playing Russian roulette with their home lives, though they may not realize it.

[mrmaximum]

What i was saying about my friends was that i dont know why i keep attracting these kind of people. i'm a decent guy adn like i said i'm pretty tollerant. maybe thats it? they think "oh he's trustworthy and tollerant maybe he shares my values and i should invite him to a coke party/prostitute/white power meeting.

*sighs*

 

Probably that and the fact that you are easy to approach and seem open minded. I feel the same way every time someone I once trusted and respected then regales me with a story about them cheating or something else pretty 'interesting'. I laugh with him (because looking stunned just makes things awkward and will lead to yet another one of those stupid 'everyone does it' talks) and then wonder what the heck is wrong with the world!!