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I overheard him and his roommate degrading me...


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So last night me and my SO got in bed and started talking and kissing etc.


We locked the door and we made love for a little bit and afterwards he went into the kitchen to get us some water.


Well our bedroom door was open and my boyfriends roommate was in the living room playing video games.


When my boyfriend when in the kitchen and got water his friend said


"your * * * * * is in there waiting for you"


and my boyfriend said what?


So his friend repeated it and then I heard my boyfriend say "Um Yea"


then my boyfriend paused for a minute and said thats a pretty rude thing to say in a non serious voice.


Then his friend said "Oh did she hear me" then my boyfriend said "I don't know"




He came in the room asking what was wrong and I said what the hell did he say about me...and he told me and I said what the f***. He said it was only a joke and he wasn't being serious at all.


So I said well if my friend called you "my d***" how would you feel to be just a d*** to me.


He said it wouldn't bother him if it was a joke.


What I heard them say really pissed me off- it wasn't like they were joking and knew I could hear them- they had no idea I could hear them.


ANYWAYS would this piss you off..being a male/female and being with your SO for more than two years and their best friend saying "your d***/p**** is waiting for you"


It just seems like his friend thinks thats all I am to him...I know guys talk about things so it made me wonder if my boyfriend said something to his best friend to make him think it was okay to joke like that about me.


Help it made me cry and feel like an object to him..

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Definitely very rude behaviour...but that says more about the roommate than you. Does he have a girlfriend? Maybe he is jealous that he doesn't have one so he is lashing out in this way by making degrading comments about you. Maybe it is uncomfortable for him to be there while you two are having sex...I am sure he can hear the sex noises. Who knows...but your boyfriend should set him straight and tell him in no uncertain terms that he should not be disrespecting you.

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I wouldn't try to read into this. Guys are guys and your guy's roomate was being a guy jerk. He was probably just jealous that his roomate was getting some while he was alone playing games, or more so maybe your BF blew off the roomate to hang with you instead and wanted to say something rude once your BF "showed his face".


Look at the facts, your boyfriend stood up for you by telling his roomate it was rude, and he didn't lie to you when he came back into the room. There are plenty of guy talk that goes on between guys, a lot of it are sexual innuendos and crude jokes. Your boyfriend hasn't done anything to treat you badly or like an object so take the comments as what they really were, just a bad jab at your boyfriend. If you try to think too seriously on this you may come accross as having a lack of self-esteem/needing to be coddled/can't take a joke and that wouldn't be good for your relationship.

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I kinda agree it was a joke but not a very good one. I think he said it because your BF stopped playing WoW and is spending more time with you. Now knowing you heard it and how it made you feel he should let his roommate know not to do it again. But that would more than likely only happen when your there.

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Very rude. Have your actions given him reason to say such things?? I dont mean to offend...and I'll give an example: when my bf and I first got together, we drank and partied ALOT. We're both very sexual people, and he'd do things like have me kiss other girls and guys to show them what a good kisser I was or we'd have a threeway kiss with another girl. These things dont seem too bad, but it was enough to give people the impression that I was a wh**e only looking for booze and sex. Not the reputation that I want, so I stopped it.


I'm just wondering if your bf has said or done something that gives the roomate a bad impression.


If not, then the roomate is just being a butthead and your bf should take up for you and tell the roomate not to talk like that about you, even jokingly.

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I know there is just "guy talk" but I would never say something to friend her d*** is in their waiting for her unless my friend agreed that that's all he was to her.


I've been with my boyfriend for two years and I've never felt like just an object to him..but I just don't think people say rude things unless they think it.


I don't think his roommate thinks I'm just that to him but like I said it makes me wonder if my boyfriend said something to his friend before that implied that's what I was to him or something of that nature.


If I cared about someone I wouldn't let me friend call them "my d***" if he was in the next room or at all.


If someone means something to you then you stick up for them and don't let people call them degrading names.


Whenever my boyfriend paused then said "thats a rude thing to say" he was laughing..he did not have a serious tone and he probably saw the door was open to our room and assumed I could hear them so he tried to make it seem like he was defending me.


He said yea..whenever his friend said it-he didn't immediately say "dude that's a rude thing to say"

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I haven't done anything to make my boyfriend think that. I'm not all over my boyfriend when we are around other people- I save it for the bedroom. I've not into PDA a lot. I like to save it when we are in private.


His friend just had a huge fight with his girlfriend in which they broke up, he punched their picture frames and got all of his things back from her.


All he does is play video games- he doesn't go to class, even when I offer him a ride- he wants to sit and play video games. He doesn't study doesn't do his homework and he is a very smart kid he just has his priorities in the WRONG places. I just had to break my boyfriends video game habit because he wasn't focusing on college or the relationship..


His friend is a loser and I'm sorry to say that- I don't respect people who don't respect me.


I've given that guy rides to class and bought some grocercies for him and whenever I go to get fast food I ask if he wants anything and I don't make him pay me back.


Whether or not it was joking it seems he has taken advantage of the nice things I have done for him and acts like he can walk all over me.

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I'm just wondering if your bf has said or done something that gives the roomate a bad impression..



Unless he tells his roommate what he do in bed which is nothing out of the ordinary...Nothing that would imply I was just p***.


Who knows.


It upset me not because I have low self esteem but no one wants to feel like they are being used or hear someone say something like that about them.

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Whether or not it was joking it seems he has taken advantage of the nice things I have done for him and acts like he can walk all over me.


I would confront him and just tell him you heard what he said and after everything you have done for him you find it very rude and uncalled for. Tell him if this is how he feels about you then you will no longer do those things for him.

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Guys do this. His friend was using that to vent about his gf. What we girls need to do is take a course in Guyspeak. It would prevent a lot of hard feelings. Expecting a guy to blast his friend over something like that is wishing for the moon. Few guys will do it. It meant nothing, really.

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I think this was a case of the roommate "hearing" you two in there and probably jealous and that is why he said it. The roommate was the crass one here, not your b/f. Your b/f has to live with the guy and doesn't want to make waves over something that was said to be a sarcastic joke.


I'd let it go if i were you.


Maybe the roommate could hear you guys in there and felt it rude...you never konw what people are thinking.

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So tonight I was in the living room look over some homework and my boyfriend and his roommate were playing Halo.


I was really craving a milkshake from sonic so I asked my boyfriend if he wanted anything and he told me what he wanted and then his roommate said can you get me something?


So I looked at my boyfriend and said if I do this I won't be your * * * * * tonight.


Then, my boyfriend looked over at his roommate and "oh ya by the way you got me in huge trouble with her last night"


His roommate started laughing and said that's what I do and I said then wait till you bring your new girlfriend here.


He got a serious face and said he was sorry.


I feel better now lol

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Sounds like your boyfriend is kinda immature, but then you are 19, so I'm guessing your bf is near this age?


Men around this age often have two sides to them, one when there with you...and then one with their mates...and this often conflicts when there with you AND there mates.


I guess it kinda shows his behaviour tho. My boyfriend is 19, and he is way more mature than this and wouldnt degrade me by calling me names, joking or not, or letting his mates call me names either, joking or not.


In his defence, your bf defended you the first time, but he didnt seem to say a lot the second time. SOunds like he kinda takes you for granted? I mean you offer to go and pick up some food or whatever and doesnt offer to go instead? Or come with you? He just tells you what he wants and let his friend add in an order? And then doesnt say anything when you and his friend started laying into one another.


Some people may say laugh it off its boys, and its their age. But i wouldnt put up with it. My ex used to do it with his mates and I hated it. It was funny because when he wasnt around his friends were lovely to me, but when he was there they all turned into big macho idiots who apparently didnt like women!! So i said there and then i wouldnt put up with it again...


...as i said my boyfriend now I know would never dream of doing this...and neither would his friends...

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