littlestar Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 When they're both telling you 2 different things? Link to comment
pacodemil Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I have always followed my heart I guess. I can't say as though it has always worked out for me. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Your head is the logical one out of the two. Your heart gets you in trouble or hurt most the time. Though it can be really hard it is best to follow your head even if your heart is saying otherwise Link to comment
butterflycloud Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Well I see it like this: Your head is governed by your ego, the way you been brought up, social preconditioning etc...basically all the human based things. Weras your heart is the soul connection you have to the greater universe. If your soul is telling yourself to go for something then I would follow that because ultimately your soul knows what is best for its further development. Bare in mind that your soul doesnt always chose the easiest way out but ultimately chooses what is right for now.. So I would say be still and ask your heart what path to follow.. you cant go wrong! Good Luck! Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 That's an interesting question. I would say that my head is the logical part but I often listen to my heart. I broke up with my ex (we were together 6 months, he didn't treat me too good) and 3 weeks later I met a guy who I clicked with really well. It was supposed to be a casual thing but then he asked me out... I didn't know what to do. He was totally my type and a lovely guy and so much fun. My head said "No! This is a rebound!" But my heart said go for it. And one year later I am still with my lovely boyfriend and we have moved in together Link to comment
PrincessJOA Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Good question. I tend to follow my head. Sometimes I don't understand what my heart says... Link to comment
valiantv Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I try to follow my head most of the time, but sometimes it's a lot of work and reasoning to have your head over-ride your heart... Link to comment
Hope_Springs_Eternal Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 if in doubt, follow your head, it wont get you into trouble Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Often what people describe as following their heart in a romantic relationship with a man or woman who is not good for them is really following something else like infatuation, lust, the thrill of the chase, etc so you have to be able to check with yourself as to whether it is truly your "heart" or something else. Therapy can help with that too (or something like meditation). I think this is true especially when the relationship is on the newer side and the "head" issue has to do with real potential harm to you or real incompatibility with your core values. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Right now I'm following my heart. You only go around once. You don't get a 2nd chance at love. If I'm wrong I'm wrong. But at least I'll never have to wonder "what if".... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Right now I'm following my heart. You only go around once. You don't get a 2nd chance at love. If I'm wrong I'm wrong. But at least I'll never have to wonder "what if".... When you follow your heart and ignore your head it is easier because then you don't have to take into account how long you have known the person or what you know of the person from a head perspective. I don't know that that has to do with following true love as you write, because true love requires knowing the person, having a history of giving to the person and being given to in return, and other attributes that are not all heart-based but are activity-based (i.e. not head based either, but based on time together, over a period of time and how you interact and what you give to each other). please understand, I am not judging your decision, just not agreeing with the link between "follow your heart" and "you don't get a second chance at love" when it concerns a brand new relationship. For example, I remember being really into a man for about two months (can't say it was love just yet but it sure felt like it and I sure was following my heart). Unfortunately that meant that I ignored a red flag. I found out about the extent of the red flag at month two - a significant psychological disorder for which he had chosen to stop treatment and which could have caused significant physical harm to me or to children if we had had any. Had I followed my heart, I really might have stayed. I'm so glad I didn't-- if I gave up a chance at love at least I didn't give up a chance at being healthy. Obviously, people guess right all the time - they follow their heart where they don't know the person, and it ends up happily ever after - so please don't think I'm being negative on your relationship, just questioning the "follow your heart if you want true love" in this situation. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 What I meant was you only get one opportunity at things. I am following my gut I guess. I am watching his actions, not just his words. I appreciate your words. I know I could get hurt, but he is walking the walk and talking the talk, and believe me, I am looking for red flags, and I don't see any. This could just be the case of a really good guy. ~Allie Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Oh ok I thought you meant just your heart - it sounds like the perfect combo of head and heart. I have no doubt but that he is a good guy - I'm not one of those cynics, even at the ripe old age of 42. For me I would want to see the words/actions consistency over at least 6-9months but I have full respect for your ability and judgment to know what's good for you! Have fun! Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Oh ok I thought you meant just your heart - it sounds like the perfect combo of head and heart. I have no doubt but that he is a good guy - I'm not one of those cynics, even at the ripe old age of 42. For me I would want to see the words/actions consistency over at least 6-9months but I have full respect for your ability and judgment to know what's good for you! Have fun! Thank you! Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 This last time, I followed my head first...my heart is catching up. Link to comment
Loki71 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I went with what was in my heart hoping my head would follow Link to comment
Nixee Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I don't think its as simple as a choice really. Thing is, just because you follow your heart, its not like you have to LOSE your head... just remember that. And if you follow your head, it doesn't mean your heart is dead. The trick is to do what really feels right for you, without letting logic and reason completely leave the building, and without losing sight of what is truly good for YOU. And yeah, it is tricky sometimes. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I don't think its as simple as a choice really. Thing is, just because you follow your heart, its not like you have to LOSE your head... just remember that. And if you follow your head, it doesn't mean your heart is dead. The trick is to do what really feels right for you, without letting logic and reason completely leave the building, and without losing sight of what is truly good for YOU. And yeah, it is tricky sometimes. good point..... Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I try to go with logic. I let my heart play a part in my decisions but my mind gets to make the ultimate decisions... Link to comment
Catdancer Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I have always followed my heart. Usually I come out ok, but there have been times that I've gotten myself into an even bigger mess because of it. I know my personality and how I usually react. I take the risk. I make the jump. I always go for it. Sometimes I fail. But true success is having the courage to go after what you want. I will always follow my heart and I will always take the chance, that's just who I am. Who are you?? Do you take the chance or do you weigh your options and go with the safest? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I have always followed my heart. Usually I come out ok, but there have been times that I've gotten myself into an even bigger mess because of it. I know my personality and how I usually react. I take the risk. I make the jump. I always go for it. Sometimes I fail. But true success is having the courage to go after what you want. I will always follow my heart and I will always take the chance, that's just who I am. Who are you?? Do you take the chance or do you weigh your options and go with the safest? Right now, as I posted above, I am taking a chance. Following my heart and my gut. You only go around once. I am taking a big chance at love here. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I really don't think you can make a blanket statement on this. There has to be a balance betweent the head, heart and gut. It is important to take everything into consideration, not just throw caution to the wind and follow your heart...or let your brain completely take over and ruin a good possibility. The brain can also talk us out of things that we shouldn't be talked out of. So in matters of love, it has to be on a case by case basis. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I really don't think you can make a blanket statement on this. There has to be a balance betweent the head, heart and gut. It is important to take everything into consideration, not just throw caution to the wind and follow your heart...or let your brain completely take over and ruin a good possibility. The brain can also talk us out of things that we shouldn't be talked out of. So in matters of love, it has to be on a case by case basis. Excellent point CAD.....too often if we just listened to our head we would be talked out of so many wonderful things, wouldn't we? Link to comment
Catdancer Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Right now, as I posted above, I am taking a chance. Following my heart and my gut. You only go around once. I am taking a big chance at love here. Love is the biggest gamble to take. You offer your pride, your vunerabilities, your ego, your body, your principles, your morals...essentially everything that makes you who you are, you give freely to another person trusting that they wont abuse it and that they'll always cherish your gift. This is the biggest gamble of our lives. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Love is the biggest gamble to take. You offer your pride, your vunerabilities, your ego, your body, your principles, your morals...essentially everything that makes you who you are, you give freely to another person trusting that they wont abuse it and that they'll always cherish your gift. This is the biggest gamble of our lives. It is. The stakes are high, but the payoff if worth it! Link to comment
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