Crossroads of Life

[Pavilionmx70]

Ive came on here a couple times and I would read all you guys posts and threads and try to find in ur situation...hope for mines. My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We used to talk about getting married...and the love was deep. I mean I can remember when I put my life on the line for her one time. Early 2008 we started having our arguments and finally she wanted to take a break. We took a break, and then outta the blue on cold New York evening she told me that she went out with another guy and she thought it was best for us to move on. She accusesd me of flirting with another girl, and going on a date with another girl twice and in both cases she was wrong...even the people who she accused me of cheating with were like "huh?" So she broke it off with me...and like the rookie at the whole break up thing...i did the begging, the im sorry (even though i didnt cheat) etc etc...but she cut me off and was like...we just need to move on. Heres your stuff back. I couldnt understand it because in every area of her like I was supportive (financially, emotionally, physically, mental, and spirit) but I sit alone and I now know I made the mistake of giving love a face. I went about a month without contacting her....then I remember I checked her facebook like a fool and there were pictures of her out with her friends, in the club, dancing with other guys and I can remember almost having a break down. I sent her a note just checking on how she was...she wrote back but we left it at that. Im at the point now where things are getting better, not at there best but my days are sort of getting easier. People tell me to go out, go to clubs, get another girl, but its just not in me to do so...id rather be at work making money or at school advancing my life. Deep down I still miss her or maybe I just miss the good times, but at the same time im kinda starting to find my self worth and what I like in a woman. But sometimes I just feel worthless like "you putting your life on the line wasnt enough." She was a great girl as well...when I was sick she took care of me, very supportive, just everything was great until like 2008. Everyday is a struggle...I want her back...then im like this is best...then I want her back...then im like this is best. So here I sit...wondering...what road do I take in this crossroad of life?

 

-Michael Kaman

[jammer180]

I'm so sorry you are going through this... how long have you been without contact with her? Did you not write her back when she wrote back to your email?

 

I don't have any answers for you... my ex is never speaking to me again. We had a pretty good relationship I thought... but he was confused about how he felt and wanted to break up and give himself time to miss me. I got so frustrated with the way he was keeping me holding on and ignoring me that I blew up at him and we had a fight, mean words were said and we said our goodbyes on what i thought were ok terms at the end of hte conversation. I deleted him and everyone I knew through him on facebook in an attempt to erase things from my view that would upset me, because he'd made a choice to move on so I had no choice. But I'm left feeling shattered and utterly alone.

 

I too like you some days think ok this is best, and I look at all the bad things about our relationship and try to believe that we were not meant to be together... but then most days i just miss him like crazy and cannot understand how he could just walk away and never speak to me again.

 

It is tough... they say time heals it... we've been broken up a month and a half now.. nc for about a month... it hurts like hell everyday. I do not feel that I have gotten any better than the day it happened. I'm still not eating right, not sleeping, not going out much either. Think about him all the time... but I read other people's posts, and follow other people's stories on here and it gives me hope that one day soon I will start to feel better and eventually feel nothing when I think of him.

 

It's best for you to try to move on. I know you miss her. But she seems to have made her choice. She knows how to find you if she wants you. I contacted mine after we broke up and it just turned into fights because of leftover feelings... I suggest you stick with nc and try to move on as best you can. I contacted mine after 2 months last time he broke up with me, it wasn't a bad break up that time... I just sent him a simple email seeing how he was doing and mentioned some of the changes in my life... that started us into lc and then we eventually met up and got back together because the feelings were still there. But, I had to attempt to move on with my life first and make some changes. If in another month or so you still miss her, sure, email her and see where she's at. But right now, sounds like you are hurting and you should stick nc and try to pick up the pieces until you are stronger to contact her. I hope this helps.

[BrokenJoy]

Hey Pavilionmx70,

Sorry to hear the situation you are in. I understand how difficult it may be right now. We can't make people love us, or want to be with us.. they have to want to be with us in order for the relationship to work. Sounds like she's probably not going to come back. Take this time to focus and take care of yourself, for your mental and physical health. We can easily abuse ourselves by forgetting to take care of ourselves. How long have you been NC now? I've been broken up with my ex of 3 years for 3 months now, and almost 1 month NC.. overall been better, but I still have down days. We're still grieving over the break up. Hopefully you have better days.

Best of luck,

BrokenJoy xx

 

Feel free to PM me =]

[Pavilionmx70]

Well we took a break and it lasted about 2 months...and things seemed kinda up cause towards the end she would come over my house...we started going out on dates again...and she told me "I can feel us coming back together." A week before she broke it off with me she said "she didnt want me to leave..."...then one week later...the boom. I was NC for about a month and a half. When I wrote her (about 2 weeks ago) I just asked how she was doing and she was kinda confused why I deleted her from my facebook but I had to in order to get my mind right. I just encouraged her that it would be ok and that was that... So she told me things were kind of rough financially wise, but you hear that and then see all the pictures she has up and I..."I never though you would do this to me...i never thought you'd put me through this." Man...sometimes hard days are just harddd days.