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Is this a sign?


zenbabyk

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I know I deleted his number. I know it.

I page through my contacts in my cellphone almost daily.

I deleted his number almost a month ago.

I know I did it, because it was a painful but rewarding experience for me.

 

Today I was looking for someone to go on jog around the lake with me...

As I was going through my contact list my heart stopped.

There he was.

Right smack dab in the middle of the "E's"

There was his name, his e-mail address, a picture of us, and his special ringtone all saved.

I DELETED that. All of it. I just don't get how it's there.

I don't even know his number by heart. I don't even have that picture saved in my phone anymore.

How did it get there?

 

Is this a sign?

 

I don't know if you have been following my threads but I ran into him on friday night, and it didn't go the way I imagined, but my feelings for him are still strong.

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Girl, stop lusting for him! It's going to destroy you, I think you're confusing the two, love and lust...

 

He is trouble, this you already know. Do you honestly want someone who sleeps around and then when confronted gives you the lamest excuse ever, only for you to accept it in the end, because you think you love him so?

 

You're being overly needy here... it was a few flings between the two of you, not love, nor was it ever meant to be love. It is about you being needy, and wanting control of the situation you've gotten yourself in.

 

I do not mean to be harsh, but reality often is... this you must face. It isn't a sign, just dumb chance... try to get over it. He's already sent you on a rebound with an older guy... keep lusting for him and you'll get yourself into more trouble.

 

Seriously, for your own sake and dignity, stop this, step out of your bubble, take a breather and really look at how you've victimized yourself over him, who's clearly not worth it!

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When you delete something from memory its still there until new data overwrites it, its merely not displayed and allocated as 'empty'. The phone will likely allocate separate parts of the memory to contacts, messages, photos etc, so if you haven't added many new things it could theoretically still be on the card. If the phone were then to have a problem and reboot it could revert to old memory...

 

Yeah, ok its a long shot...

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I know I deleted it. One of my friends even checked my phone because she didn't believe me.

 

I did however write his number down on a sheet of paper.. oops. But I honestly did not put his number back in my phone.

 

& it was not just a few flings... we hung out every single night and day for two weeks. I do know the difference between love and lust, because I dated someone previously before him, for three years. I never felt such a strong connection with someone, and I honestly think that it was mutual.

 

I know I need to take a breather, step out of my bubble and stop picking at the scab of our so called "relationship." I know the the more you pick, the deeper the scar.

 

I hate this. I hate being needy.

 

Where do I start? How can I be more independent?

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I know I deleted it. One of my friends even checked my phone because she didn't believe me.

 

I did however write his number down on a sheet of paper.. oops. But I honestly did not put his number back in my phone.

 

& it was not just a few flings... we hung out every single night and day for two weeks. I do know the difference between love and lust, because I dated someone previously before him, for three years. I never felt such a strong connection with someone, and I honestly think that it was mutual.

 

I know I need to take a breather, step out of my bubble and stop picking at the scab of our so called "relationship." I know the the more you pick, the deeper the scar.

 

I hate this. I hate being needy.

 

Where do I start? How can I be more independent?

 

I'm not pretending I don't know what you're going through, because I have been going through the same range of emotions. No doubt, it would be fair to say that most of us here are going through these diverse range of emotions.

 

I used to 'FEEL' the need to have control of my ex, I used to feel this strong urge to worry about her well being and how I can make her aware of the fact that she's destroying herself by sleeping around with a multitude of men, seeking their approval.

 

FACT is, I have no control over her at all! None of us have. And the sooner we realize this codependency the sooner we're able to find a solution to this burning urge of not being able to let go of the situation and of our ex's.

 

Zenbayk, the very moment you FEEL your panic, try to acknowledge it, try to see it from an outside perspective. This is what I meant by stepping out of your bubble. What you'll see is a poor lost individual who's lost and drowned in their own emotions, this individual is YOU!

 

Try to recognize the fear, the panic, the anxiety, and acknowledge them by stepping out of your bubble, now the next step would be to console your wounded self. Repeatedly tell yourself to 'let go of him and in turn set yourself free'. Do this every single time you have thoughts of him! Then ask yourself this while in this out of body state, 'do I really need someone who hurts me to heal?' Answer however you like, but then tell yourself again, to let him go so you can be free.

 

The solution is not the problem of yearning for him, again, and again... the solution is realizing what you're doing wrong that's causing you the hurt. Which is why it's important to recognize our fears and emotions.

 

Let him go and set yourself free!

 

It has worked tremendously for me... do this every time you feel the panic, anxiety or the need to have him back. And you should also surround yourself with people who understands your situation and support you. I was really taken aback by what your sister did when she went up to him and started to chat away. That's a BIG BS! She should know better!

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I was really taken aback by what your sister did when she went up to him and started to chat away. That's a BIG BS! She should know better!

 

I know... she was like " I wish you could have seen his face! He was SO surprised!"

 

I'm thinking... why is he surprised to see me here? This is the place we met, it's obviously somewhere I went to before I knew him. I used to work there! I knew when I walked in that there was a chance of seeing him.

 

Stupid ahole. I hate him. I hate the way he makes me feel.

 

but you know what? I don't need him!

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