Tyggg6 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 we broke up 4 months ago (she dumped me). Clean breakup (no one else). Neither of us have "dated" since we broke. we have been in NC (initiated by me) since august 2nd. Since that time i have received a couple emails asking me about my trip. i gave a polite response and went back to NC. She ended up showing up to a place she knew i was at a couple weeks ago. we had fun talk. dropped her off at home. went back to NC. This past wednesday night i start getting drunken texts from her asking "where are you?"..we exchanged a few texts she said " i really miss talking to you. i know i shouldn't say that, but it sucks". I end up seeing her for an hour late that night. we had a fun time and caught up on things. she didn't want to get out of my car "because it smelt like me" and wanted to lay her head on my arm for 5 mins. etc. mind you she was drunk so i am not reading to much..but booze brings out some truth. She apologized the next day for contacting me. i sent her a polite response..told her not to aplogize and it was great catching up with her. Then i resumed NC. what if anything do i make of this? I love her a lot...but i'm being realistic...i have a date this week and maybe another with someone else the following..i think it is healthy....it's just weird knowing how much my ex misses me. ??? Link to comment
Dave11 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 I wouldn't read too much into it if she was drunk, perhaps ask her if she wants to go for a drink, or somewhere neutral at least and just see how things go. I don't think you should break off contact entirely since you obviously still care about each other. Link to comment
Tyggg6 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 I for sure want to keep in touch. i just made it clear from the get go that i am not going to be her friend because i don't think of her like that and i know i just get miserable when i pretend to be a "friend". we did the whole sleeping together for the first 2.5 months of the 4 months we have broken up.....i for sure don't recommend doing that for any extended period of time. makes it way more confusing. i just don't know how to deal with a girl that is confused and doesn't know what she wants,etc. I can ask her what is up and she will say she doesn't want to get back together right now...then contact me 3 days later and sleep with me,etc.. that's why i sent it to NC. because i wasn't getting better. i was just getting mad and it sucked. it's so hard when i am so in love with her. i know she is still attracted to me,etc. if i just met her for the first time i could pick her up in 2 seconds. and she still cares a lot about me. checks my facebook all the time. talks to my mom/friends. gets jelous about the idea of me and another girl.. it's weird. i dont get whats going on. Link to comment
atelis Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 why did she dump you? easy for me to say play it cool, but i know that if my ex contacted me i would be over the moon. it does genuinely sound like she misses you, but sometimes they see that you have moved on and are doing well and it attracts them even more. Link to comment
Tyggg6 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 She never gave me a straight up answer. she showed up at my apartment after work one night. she literally threw up and said "i can't be with you right now"...etc. her mom and friends were not happy. everything was good for the most part. i took her down south for a couple weeks. went to nyc as well. always doing fun things and had so much fun together. we dated for about 8 months. I probably came on strong or overbearing or something. she sent a close friend (now mutual) an email a couple weeks after we broke up saying "i feel like i need to get one more party out of my system,etc" she is 23 and indecisive as all hell. After the breakup we stayed for emotionally connected to the situation and each other. sleeping together. she initiated 80% of contact..never really lasting longer than 3 or 4 days...and of course i started to question her and she said "i dont know what to do anymore so i am just stopping". we then slid into NC mode because of my recommendation. but as i said we have had contact 4 times since then. 3 of 4 initiated by her. She is also coming to a couple events in the next couple weeks. she is so up and down. she makes a weird point to msn my mother of all people and say she is over the relationship. then a week later she is not wanting to get out of my car when she is a little drunk. and i don't think everything people say or do drunk can be dismissed as just that,.... i dont know. like i said. i love her to pieces but she doesn't know what she wants from me by the sounds of it..... i was thinking of asking her to do something in a couple weeks and just hang out and see whats what....? Link to comment
atelis Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 just suggest a casual date and go and do something fun. don't bring up any relationship stuff during the date. just show her that being in a relationship can be fun again without getting heavy on all the romance and commitment stuff. at the start of a relationship, most people become attracted because they are having fun with another person and enjoy their company.......then all the emotion starts to come into the relationships and it becomes more serious. take her to do something she hasn't done before.....go to a sports event or a concert etc and just have a fun day or night without any pressure Link to comment
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