WickedBlonde Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 I'm new here and I'm trying really hard to understand why my bf of 10 months just broke up with me out of the blue. He just turned 17 in July and I'm 16. We have known each other for 2 years and we started dating last September. It was a fairytale romance. We were crazy about each other and we were head over heels for each other. Everyone who knew us thought we had the perfect HS sweethearts romance and they would always ask us how things were in "paradise". We were so in love and everyone saw it too and everything was great (or so I thought). I am going into music education in college so I am heavily involved in choir at school, private voice and piano lessons, and marching band at school. He plays soccer and was the goalie for the junior varsity school soccer team. He got involved in all of my activities, going to band competitions, coming to choir concerts, etc. I went to a few soccer games but I couldn't really get "involved" like he did (he helped move band equipment for performances). He seemed to be completely happy and enjoyed doing all of these things with me. Well, after marching band season was over, life went on and we were still completely into each other. Winter was not nearly as busy so we spent a lot of time together, just watching movies at each others houses and just hanging out, cuddling, etc. I was his first "real" relationship and we became intimate but because we both have strong morals, did not go all the way. We had SO MUCH chemistry and physical attraction and there were no problems there at all. Well winter turned into spring and I was somewhat busier. I was in the school musical and he got involved and worked tech crew so he could spend time with me. Everything was fine. We never fought at all. Then school ended and I (we both) went to Summer school. I needed to in order to get in extra credits I couldn't take during the regular year and he went (didn't really need to) to be with me (or that's what I thought). Things were still okay but we were a little less together every second. I didn't notice any problems at all. When summer school ended, we were both busy working and there didn't seem to be much time to see each other. He is the oldest of four boys and his parents put a lot of responsibility on him. I guess I missed seeing him every day so I didn't realize I was pressuring him to spend time with me. I guess I was being too demanding of his time and maybe he thought I was too clingy. Anyway, we did a few things together and then he was going on a family vacation. I gave him a bunch of presents for his birthday since he would be gone on vacation when he turned 17. The last time we saw each other, we went out and had a whole bunch of fun and he even bought me a $60 baseball jersey at the mall. Everything was great. Two days later he left for vacation and we would not see each other for two weeks. He came back after one week and I left the same day for band camp. He started to act strange on his vacation when I would talk to him on the phone. He kept telling me he was under a lot of pressure and stress. I didn't understand what he was talking about because his life is a lot less busy than mine so I didn't know what he was so stressed out about. When I was at camp, he would call and I would call him. He seemed strange the last time I talked to him and I said "I love you" and he didn't say anything back. I said it again and then he said he loved me too but it was strange. Then, the day I come home (2 days after that call), I called to tell him I was home and that I really wanted to see him. He agreed to come over and a few hours later he did. When he got there, he looked so different. He was unshaven and just like a totally different person. He hugged me but it wasn't the same. We ended up going downstairs for privacy and when i started to try to get close to him and cuddle, he pushed me away and said he needed to talk to me. He said he didn't see this relationship working out because we were both too busy and didn't have time for a relationship. He said he was taking all honors classes and he needed to focus on school and I needed to focus on my music. Then he said "and I don't know if I love you...I'm only 17, I don't really know what love is". He said a few other bizarre things too. He said we were from different worlds and he could see me being with some guy who plays 20 instruments and sings and someday he will turn on the TV and see me being famous or singing with this other "guy". I just can't understand why he walked away from me. He never once indicated that there was anything wrong with our relationship and we were happy together. I was starting to feel like he had some problems communicating with me. He wasn't very good at sharing his feelings and if he was being quiet or he seemed mad about something and I would ask him what was wrong, he would just say it was nothing and it wasn't me. He would never share his feelings with me or confide in me about any problems he was having (either in his life or with me). I never knew he was having these thoughts or did he just have them when he was on vacation with his parents and little brothers? Did his parents tell him he needed to focus on school and that things were getting too serious and that's what made him not want to be with me? He didn't really have a clear vision of what he wanted to do with his future/college and I did so was that what was bothering him? Anyway, he said we would still be "close friends" and yet since we've been back at school, I am the one to acknowledge him with a "Hi" or "Hey" and he nods back but that's it. He won't even talk to me. He doesn't talk to any of my friends (and he had become friends with a lot of people through me at school). He seems extremely quiet and introverted. I just want to know if he has realized he made a mistake but he feels so bad he doesn't want to chance trying to get back together with me or he's too proud to admit he made a mistake. Or did he truly just throw away all of the closeness and love and happiness that we had and walk away because all of a sudden he really doesn't like who I am and he doesn't really want to be with me? I just don't understand. I loved this boy so much and he never made me feel like he didn't feel the exact same way about me. It's like he just flipped a switch and turned off all his feelings for me. I know we had a future together. By the way, he started talking about being together forever and getting married someday and having kids and all that. Then he apparently told a female friend of his that "I" asked him if he was going to marry me. I never did any such thing. Why would he tell this girl that when he is the one that always talked about our future together? I am so heartbroken. I don't know if I can go on and find someone I can love as much as I loved him. I don't know if we'll ever talk again or even be friends again and that absolutely kills me. Every time I see him at school, it's like a knife cutting into my heart. Please give me some advice on what I did wrong or why he just walked away from what we had. Link to comment
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