you will be ok!

[bobsiesprincess]

hey guys.

 

this time last year i was dumped by my bf of 2 years. words cannot describe how devastated i was. i genuinely believed that my life was ruined, that my whole future was gone. i didnt eat and didnt sleep. i didnt barely go out for months. i lost all self confidence. i didnt believe that i was loveable or that id ever meet anyone again. i cant even describe how bad i was.... i cried every single day for months and months. i got put on anti depressants and sleeping tablets.

 

i spent time thinking up plots to win my ex back and buying books to help me do that. i texted him and called him and emailed him. eventually i realised none of that was working and i went NC. its the best thing i ever did. if someone doesnt want to be with you, then they dont, dont try and convince them - you deserve someone who will never let you go.

 

i felt like giving up on life. i quit my dream job and wasnt going back to uni. eventually, i came to the realisation that i had to better myself. i had to do everything i wanted from life. i dedicated alot of time to going to the gym to feel better about myself, i decided to go back to uni and get my honours, and i made plans to go to america to work for the summer which was a dream of mine.

 

so here I am a year later. when i think back to how bad i was it breaks my heart. i had no hope for me or my life. i went to uni and worked super hard and got an amazing mark. way better than i would have got had i been with him cos my studying time would have went to him. i threw myself into the gym and driving lessons and got myself a wee car. im just back from spending my whole summer working and travelling in america. i wouldnt have done that had we still been together because i couldnt have left him. and, believe it or not... im in love once again. i have an amazing bf who treats me like an absolute princess and adores me. i NEVER thought I could meet someone else.

 

i met a mutual friend recently of the ex and me. he told me how ive come out of this breakup far better than my ex... that comment made me so proud of myself and everything ive done.

 

overall, my advice to all the broken hearted is

1) GO NC...seriously

2) come here and post whenever you need to, it helps to feel like your not the only one going through this

3) allow yourself time to mope and wallow, but eventually you have to force yourself to get up and out there

4) do everything for you, everything you ever wanted to do - make it happen

 

everything happens for a reason. and looking back, im glad that me and my ex broke up (never imagined id say that!). i have learned so many life lessons. its made me a stronger, more independent person.

 

this site did so much for me. i want to thank everyone who helped me and replied to my posts in my times of need. i will always be grateful... if i hadnt found this site, god knows what id be like now. i have faith that all of you will come through this as well... you just gotta ride out the storm. there will be ups and downs, but every day you will progress a tiny bit.

 

if you ever need support or advise, feel free to pm me. ive been there.

[TBE_1989]

Great post, honey, thanks.

 

I know lots of people will appreciate this.

 

It's great you've gotten your life back on track and are now HAPPY you guys broke up. Hopefully I'll be at that stage soon too. In fact, with regards to getting my life back on track, I'm starting college today!

 

Thanks again for an inspiring post. Great tips, too.

[kuhl282000]

i have faith that all of you will come through this as well... you just gotta ride out the storm. there will be ups and downs, but every day you will progress a tiny bit.

 

......thanks

[foreverlost]

did he ever contact you in that year?

[atelis]

great post and may you always be happy. your pride and happiness comes through in your post and you obviously came back from the brink.

 

it's story's like this that inspire everyone.

[shell80]

Bobsie...I could of written that exact posting. It has also been a year since my breakup and one of the worst times of my life. I too, am happier now - more so than I could of imagined. If only the sad, depressed and lost girl I was knew of how great life would be again...

[bobsiesprincess]

...

 

I always know when these posts start off telling us that we will get better, it's because they now have love in their lives.

Not so easy for the rest of us.

 

i don't agree with what you are saying. the new bf is only recent. before he came along i was happy with myself and my life, i was over my ex and i was content with being single. a partner doesnt make you happy, it comes from yourself. my bf is just an added bonus.

[bobsiesprincess]

did he ever contact you in that year?

 

well he didnt contact me, but we did bump into each other a few times because we live in the same place.

[Hopelives]

I agree, Miss Kitty.

 

When someone can post that they are happy WITHOUT it involving another person, THEN I believe it... otherwise, to me, they just found a patch for an empty hole they think will be filled with someone else and the pattern is bound to repeat itself.

 

HOWEVER, that said, I'm happy she found someone new.

[bobsiesprincess]

. ...

 

Then you would have posted this previously, before you met him. However, like Hopelives says, I am happy you found someone special and I wish you the best.

 

 

 

this was posted b4 the bf.

[bobsiesprincess]

I agree, Miss Kitty.

 

When someone can post that they are happy WITHOUT it involving another person, THEN I believe it... otherwise, to me, they just found a patch for an empty hole they think will be filled with someone else and the pattern is bound to repeat itself.

 

HOWEVER, that said, I'm happy she found someone new.

 

i dont know about that. i never looked for someone to fill the hole. i didnt want to find anyone while i was heartbroken over the ex. i met my bf 9/10 months after me and the ex split up when i was over it.

 

maybe it will happen again...... but i don't think its "bound to repeat itself". i know what its like to be cynical and think itll always end the same, but in my opinion its worth the risk because there are people who are in love and are together forever.

[pumpkinmoon]

So glad that things are going so well for you, it has certainly given me hope reading this. So I guess you were surprised to meet your current bf? Does it really happen when you least expect it like they say?

[bobsiesprincess]

So glad that things are going so well for you, it has certainly given me hope reading this. So I guess you were surprised to meet your current bf? Does it really happen when you least expect it like they say?

 

yeh, believe it or not... i was really NOT wanting to meet someone, because I knew I was going to America for 3 months. But of course, because I didnt want to meet someone, he came along and swept me off my feet!

[binah3]

 

When someone can post that they are happy WITHOUT it involving another person, THEN I believe it... otherwise, to me, they just found a patch for an empty hole they think will be filled with someone else and the pattern is bound to repeat itself.

 

Or maybe through intense suffering and reflection we become better aware of the qualities that would make someone good for us, and how to recognize those qualities if the right person should come along. I wouldn't call that process 'filling a hole'. Rather, 'learning a lesson'.

[babes23]

Thanks for that bobsiesprincess xx

[wizard71]

...

 

I always know when these posts start off telling us that we will get better, it's because they now have love in their lives.

Not so easy for the rest of us.

 

Yes and so will we. I think its a great story and an insight into the future for the rest of us. No not easy for the rest of us, but then again, it wasnt easy for this lady.In fact it sounds like she went throug hell, so good luck to you girl!

[RoadtoRecovery]

...

 

I always know when these posts start off telling us that we will get better, it's because they now have love in their lives.

Not so easy for the rest of us.

 

I think that before we ever get into a relationship we need to feel whole and happy again. Sure, loving someone and having that love in return is a great feeling, but the important point is, only YOU can make you happy. I think the relationships that actually make it are the ones where both people are happy and secure with themselves BEFORE they enter into a relationship.

 

I have been through a lot in the last 2 years and I can say now that I am starting to see some daylight. I know now that although I loved her and still do, my happiness is not dictated by her. My attitude and how I carry myself in the future will ultimately dictate if I am happy or not; not just because I am with someone.

 

I would like to share a quote with you. It has helped me a lot:

 

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

Charles R. Swindoll