Perhaps I'm just insecure?

[LosingIt]

I've been with a wonderful guy for nearly 2.5 years now. We are very much in love. He liked me for years before we finally got together and I too, think he's the bees knees. We talk everyday on the phone, have a great relationship and are extremely compatible sexually. We live 3 hours apart and don't get to see each other as often as we'd like.

 

However, recently he was out with some friends and amongst them was a girl who works in my building (she actually works near my building, I since worked out. Incidentally, I travel quite far to my work each day, hence our long-distance relationship.). He was telling me about his night, who was there etc. His words were "Bob and Leanne were there... she's awesome".

 

That comment really threw me. I've never heard him describe another girl - except for me of course - as "awesome". I should have asked him why he thinks she's awesome but he proceeded to discuss how he told her about my job.

 

He met me for lunch recently (which we rarely do) after I had a particularly bad week with family problems. It was raining, the traffic was chaotic and I told him to drop me off in the middle of the street and I'd walk a block to work. He was adamant he'd drop me off at my building. Of course, I became all paranoid and thought he wants to see where she works.

 

I've been hurt badly in the past by other men and the 2 serious relationships I had prior to this, both ended with the guy cheating on me. Needless to say, this has been very damaging to my self-esteem and just lately (since this incident) I've become paranoid.

 

The fact that he'll get to see more of Bob and Leanne than I will of him also annoys me. He hasn't mentioned her since, but I have this icky feeling in my stomach for some reason, despite the fact that he's never given me reason to doubt him.

 

Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Is it silly to get upset over my boyfriend's comment that she's awesome?

[Butterflygrl]

I think that Leanne must just be a cool person and he told you. I think by him telling you, he must not think you are insecure- so even if you are feeling a little jealous, I would just talk myself out of being jealous and realize that, men are going to find other women beautiful, nice, and even awesome. It doesn't mean that he wants to be with her. Unless he gives you a real reason to not trust him, has shown in the past to be the cheating type, or says something disrespectful to you about her (like wow Leanne has a nice butt!) then I would chalk it up as reading too much into it. You have him, she doesn't.

[Xetra Dax]

For instance imagine you are married to the guy that you love with all your heart, but you also happen to really like the music of this guy band singer, and you think he(the singer) is amazing. That doesn't automatically mean you disregard your hubby as trash or less, its just a dispatched affection for something unrelated.

 

Throw your insecurities out of the window, have a do or die attitude instead. And just say to yourself' innocent until found guilty', its better to think that otherwhise you become a victim of the paranoid.