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Heart broken and don't know what to do. ANY ADVICE will Help


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I'm feeling really down still. My girlfriend and I broke up. We were going out for 7 months and we were ready to spend the rest of our lives together. But I wouldn't do that, because I always put here schooling first. Then about 3 weeks ago, on a wednesday, she calls me crying on the phone saying she "hates herself". She hated herself because she felt like she betrayed God. She lost that love for God in her heart. She is a christian and promised never to have sex before marriage. She said she was thinking about taking a break from each other so she could find herself and experience what college has to offer her, but not look for another relationship, because she wanted to still be with me. So the following Sunday I went over to her dorm and it felt like we were still a couple and everything was fine, then when I went to leave she told me she needed that time. I thought I was fine, but I found out it was harder than I thought. You see that upcoming saturday there was a big formal dance at her college and she was going with somebody. I was scared of what might happen between the two. I was getting like 3 hours of sleep every night. So I called her and told her how I felt. She said not to worry because she was still in love with me and had no feelings for him and kept on reassuring me everything was going to be fine, we would be back together soon and I believe her. But I still felt scared. We talked like almost every night before the dance including Friday night at like midnight and she kept on saying the same thing. So I didn't call her Saturday, because she was busy all day and I would see her on Sunday. So I went home Sunday to she my sister before she went back to her college and when I got there she found out that my girlfriend had a wonderful time at the dance and especially with the guy. They made out and ended up spending the night with each other. I confronted her and we pretty ended everything. The things that hurt the most is I felt misled. I just wanted her to be honest with me. I always told her that if ever found someeone, I would step aside. All I wanted is for her to be happy. I also feel like it all my fault. Now I still feel the hurt and all I do is think about her and I still love her. I hate myself for that. We know decided to be best friends and I'm not sure if that was the right idea. You probably don't think so, but for the past seven months we spent so much time together we became best friends and I don't want to throw that relationship away. I feel I rather have her as my friend then not have her at all in my life. But I just don't know. I'm so confused on what to do. I want to be her friend, but yet i still want to be with her.

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Hi Blink,

 

Thank you for posting to eNotalone.com and sharing your question. I fully understand your question and you are in a very difficult situation.

 

Normally, I wouldn't suggest things and stress things this strong. I'd like to give you a point of view here. You wrote us that you'd like to get back together with this woman. Although you didn't write it like this: she cheated on you ("They spend the night together"). My question to you is if you will be able to get over that and ever trust her 200% again. Can you? Is she that trustworthy and does she want to make that commitment to you again? From what I read, I am not all that sure of all those things.

 

I hope you understand that it is always very hard for a lot of people to be so honest and open over thing. Humans tend to hide things, rather than being open over things. I am sure that this woman was not out to hurt you in the first place, but just didn't know what to do or what to say right away. She still might be confused over it that everything went so fast. It's important that you understand this, in order to complete your healing process.

 

I hope this was of help for you and wish you good luck in the decisions you make. Keep us informed.

 

~ SwingFox ~

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