Shattered111 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Ok trying to make my long long story short. 3 years with the bf. on and off.. he seemed to not be able to make up his mind about what he wanted... mainly because when I met him I was single for almost a year and was well over my other ex and when we met his gf of 2 years broke up with him 2 weeks before that. - that right there should have told me TO STAY AWAY but I didnt... On and Off for the first year because he wasnt over her.. I guess had hope for her. Hod do i know? a good 8 months into the relationship he went on vacation with his buddies.. he said he wrote his email an ex.. just because he wanted his necklace back - I have no idea how and I have no idea who - the email he sent her ended up in my inbox one day - maybe after a good year of dating or so... it was not just him asking her for his necklace back - (that was supposed to bring them back together and him asking for it back meant to him that hes done waiting) the email? it was a book. "I miss you, i love you, why dont you talk to me.. why cant we be friends.. I have nobody.... and more i miss you's i love you's" what killed me the most when i read it? the I HAVE NOBODY. I read this and my heart dropped. I was a NOBODY TO HIM? confronted him he said he didnt write it - but i know for a fact that he did... either or.. scenario #2... year 2 of us on and off - he was going on spring break with his buddies - the whole time i was worried he's going to find himself some skank out there and god knows.. but I figured ok no he would not do that to me.. breaks up with me 2 weeks before he leaves a week before I found out he's taking two girls from home with him!!!! - one of the girls he happened to have such a huge crush on when they were in h.s. - I told myself I would never forgive him for that... didnt talk to him didnt want to... this was more than enough... long before you know he came back from his spring break trip . starts texting, starts calling telling me he misses me he loves etc... we ended up getting back together... only i told him he cant talk to his ex or that girl - the girl he went on the trip with they just somehow happened to become best friends when we were dating.. who does that?????? Here i was thinking im his best friend and he became best friends with another girl when we were dating. is that RIGHT? i think its messed up. year 2 fall he stats school again (college) a girl happens to be in his class and they become close.. everytime i was with him she would be texting him "i miss you i wish we had more classes together etc" * * * ????????? forgave him for that... a week before his birthday (towards the end of the year) we had plan to get coffee like we usualy used to... I had class that night.. got out of class around 9pm.. called him told him I got out early.. phone rang and rang and no answer.. called again. straight to voicemail... called 15 min after nothing.. so i gave up figured he went to sleep.. phone died who knows.. texts me in the morning saying sorry "went to sleep my phone died too" 2 days later (we were dating at this point but we were not friends on facebook - caused a lot of drama) - i told one of my friends what happened and i thought it was a bit shady (the coffee night incident) she told me on his facebook.... the girl he went to spring break with... the one he became "best friends with while we were dating" and the one we had the hugest crush on in high school - THEY GOT COFFEE TOGETHER THE NIGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO!!!!!!!!! Confronted him.. he apoligized.. i forgave him. * * * IS WRONG WITH ME RIGHT? year 3.... nothing but arguing.. him wanting to talk to that girl and his ex.. both killing me because of what happened in the past... at this point I would just blow up on him.... anytime he mentioned them... so we broke up again... didnt talk to him told myself IM DONE.. dont even know how.. got back together..... june of this year... things were good.... then started going bad... we had a trip planned - supposed to be on vacation exactly a week from now.... and last week.. he broke up with me. blaming me saying its my fault i dont trust him because if i did i would not mind if he talked to his ex and his "FRIEND" then tells me he wants to stay friends - and we should go on vacation as friends. told him no i want my money back. its done and over with.. said i cant get my money back... so i talked to my friends.. co workers...they said its best that i go and just enjoy myself. HOW DO YOU GO SOMEWHERE WITH SOMEONE WHO RIPPED YOUR HEART OUT AND KILLED A BIT OF ME EACH AND EVERY TIME HE BROKE UP WITH ME AND PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE OK? - what was i thinking in agreeing to go... either or.. i told myself fine i wont ignore him now... go on vacation and after that NC on my part... so for the time being i cant ignore him... have to pretend like this was the best choice ever.. for us to break up and that he's right it would have never worked.. the damage is done etc etc.... we hung out yesterday for a few hours.. he wanted to go shopping to get a few things for the "VACATION" and well i pretended like IM OK - and happy etc.... he seemed sad.. either or.. after hanging out he texted me.. saying it was fun he's glad we both agree that this is for the test - when honestly i dont.... at night.. im out with my friends... and he texts me saying "i kinda sorta miss you and it sucks, what happened between us but dont worry about me ill be fine. - would you mind goign to get coffee sometime this week and just talking about our trip and being excited" - i agreed.. dont ask why... and told him its going to be hard for both of us but its for the best (the break up) either or.. had a few drinks in me and what do i do?????????????????? TEXTED HIm. saying "i miss you too, and its so hard no matter what i do i cant stop thinking about you.. blah blah blah i went on and on and on then called him left him a voicemail saying i miss you i love you but at least we're friends" WOKE UP THIS MORNING. THINKING TO MYSELF * * * IS WRONG WITH ME. HOW DID I JUST SCREW EVERYTHING UP? now the ball is in his hands and he knows i miss him too.... WHY? long story. didnt make it short ha.. i tried.. i think i just needed to vent. feel free to think im crazy for taking him back so many times.. but im really done this time. ill go on my vacation and after that... DONE. NC - as much as it may hurt me i know i dont deserve anything that he's done.. i deserve so much better... no lies.. no girls that became best friends.. etc Link to comment
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