Question about virginity.

[speak]

Hey everyone,

 

I have a question.

 

To begin:

Last night my sister had a birthday party for her husband at her house. LOT'S of people were there and a bunch of talking and conversations. I started talking to my sister's cousin (not mine due to the fact my sister and I have the same mother and different father.) and she was talking about her love life. She was wearing this shirt that said, "Get Lucky" which was her boyfriends and it kind of led us into a boys and sex talk. I told her, "Well, I am 19 and have never even been kissed. Guys I meet may find that weird!" and she said "You know what they are really going to be thinking?" And I said, "No." She replied with, "HELL YEAH! She's a virgin! and that's why you're going to be having to push him off of you!" And I said, "Why is it that way?" And she said, "There's nothing like a virgin." (NOTE: This is coming from a lady in her mid thirties who LOVES to have a good time and definitely is nottt virginal although she isn't trashy) The guy next to us was listening and was like, "It's just the way a man is."

 

So my question to you all is this: Do men like virgins? Is there something about them that men find alluring? What are your opnions on this?

 

Thanks!

[bijoux27]

That's what this one guy told me when I was 17. He was already sexually active plus he was a pothead so I don't know if he was just philosophizing or that it's true. I would guess it's true for at least a percentage of guys. They like being the first, they like a girl to not have other experience she can judge him by.

[Angel_baby]

I think it might be a 50/50 here. Some men will think "Yes a virgin, awesome!" but those are the men that usually just want sex and nothing else.

 

Then there are other men who will think it is cool that you saved yourself for that long. If they are in a relationship with you, they will feel lucky that you saved yourself for them.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I wouldn't say men like virgins. I think some guys like the idea of sleeping with a virgin. Then there is the religious component as well.

 

Reality (from my experience), sex your first time is never all that great. It takes experience to be a better lover. Pain, being nervous, not knowing what you're doing, all add up to an over all lack luster event.

 

The first time I had sex with my gf (a virgin) it was not one for the record books.

[fribjits]

Absolutely. As a 20 year old guy, I think a girl who is a virgin is very attractive. However, this girl only becomes extremely attractive if she becomes my girlfriend.

 

There's just something so hot and adorable about a girl who's saving themselves for the right person, and if a virgin girl who has never been kissed experiences any of these "First times" with a man, that guy will feel like the worlds biggest stud, because he got to experience what no man had experienced before, and virgin girls tend to be soo shy and adorable when it comes to escalating relationships physically.

 

Plus there's also a little bit of a responsiblity thing with a bit of power. If a guy hooks up with a virgin girl who has never been kissed, then her experiences with him are gonna shape her view of what men are like a little.

 

And also, a virgin girl shows that a girl the girl hasn't just been fooling around, and she has enough integrity not to just throw away her virginity at a young age or to a gigolo.

 

I should clarify though, that not ALL virgins are hot. Don't be the virgin girl that takes their virginity too seriously and wont have sex ever until their married xD. You should respect your body, but be willing to open up to the right guy.

 

So yea, all in all. Virgins = Attractive.

 

And hey, do you live near the bay area? Maybe we could hook up. Lol!!

[Mysterygirl]

quite honestly if a guy is looking at it like "yes, a virgin" then he is jus looking at the sex side not your emotions.

 

If you are 19 and have saved yourself this long then you deserve to be with someone who will respect you and want to be with you and give you a wonderful first time experience. Not someone who just wants to "pop your cherry"

[bijoux27]

sex your first time is never all that great.

 

Pain, being nervous, not knowing what you're doing, all add up to an over all lack luster event.

 

The first time I had sex with my gf (a virgin) it was not one for the record books.

 

It was the extreme opposite for me.

 

quite honestly if a guy is looking at it like "yes, a virgin" then he is jus looking at the sex side not your emotions.

 

Being a virgin isn't only about sex...like another poster said it's the fact that you don't get around and are more innocent, etc. that are also desirable traits to guys. Not just to pop your cherry.

[speak]

quite honestly if a guy is looking at it like "yes, a virgin" then he is jus looking at the sex side not your emotions.

 

If you are 19 and have saved yourself this long then you deserve to be with someone who will respect you and want to be with you and give you a wonderful first time experience. Not someone who just wants to "pop your cherry"

 

 

Yeah, I mean I am curious more about what real serious men think about virgins. You know? I definitely don't want someone who just wants to "Pop my cherry" Yuck.

[lostandhurt]

I think if it is a real man then he sees you for all that you are. After all, once you have had sex the first time you are never a virgin again. Then what? Myself, I think it is great that you waited and were true to yourself. That is more attractive. It isn't always so easy to be different around your peers. Don't settle, you are special.

 

lost

[Godless_Heathen]

Men do find virginity attractive at your age.

 

There's a few million years of evolution whispering in a guy's hindbrain, "I can be sure any children she gives birth to are not someone else's." Even if he has no interest in children, he's the child of a hundred thousand generations of guys who did.

 

If you're willng to sleep with him, that's a pretty strong statement that you like him significantly more than any guy you've met before. That's fairly affirming.

 

If you were 30-40 and still a virgin, I'd be leery personally. It's a red flag, indicating that maybe -

 

- you're very repressed due to religion, or

- you have very little interest in sex, or

- you're emotionally damaged, and don't let people that close to you.

 

At 19, none of that really applies. It's just as likely that you just haven't fallen in love with anyone yet.

[Mario_Basler]

Unfortunately I don't think anyone is yet to invent a virgin detector so it's really difficult to tell actually. They thing that strikes me in all this, how does one actually tell who is/is not a virgin? Perhaps I missed some vital class at school but unless you're the sort of person that drives around the surrounding neighbourhoods in a Bentley announcing 'I'm a Virgin, yes I am' through a megaphone like some candidate for mayor, how does a thing like that become public knowledge?

 

To say that 'virgins are more attractive' is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard because you can never know for sure. Does somebody possess 'essense of virgin' before they've had sex? Perhaps it's some porcelain-white ethereal halo that you can only see with infra-red goggles, yes that must be it.

[speak]

Unfortunately I don't think anyone is yet to invent a virgin detector so it's really difficult to tell actually. They thing that strikes me in all this, how does one actually tell who is/is not a virgin? Perhaps I missed some vital class at school but unless you're the sort of person that drives around the surrounding neighbourhoods in a Bentley announcing 'I'm a Virgin, yes I am' through a megaphone like some candidate for mayor, how does a thing like that become public knowledge?

 

To say that 'virgins are more attractive' is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard because you can never know for sure. Does somebody possess 'essense of virgin' before they've had sex? Perhaps it's some porcelain-white ethereal halo that you can only see with infra-red goggles, yes that must be it.

 

I think what you just wrote was kind of irrelevant to what I am saying. The point I was getting at in this post is this: What do men think when they are dating virgins? NO. I wouldn't obnoxiously announce that I am a virgin, but when you are dating someone, there will come a point and time when the person you are serious about will want to know about your sexual history. And I drive a camry.

[Mario_Basler]

I think what you just wrote was kind of irrelevant to what I am saying. The point I was getting at in this post is this: What do men think when they are dating virgins? NO. I wouldn't obnoxiously announce that I am a virgin, but when you are dating someone, there will come a point and time when the person you are serious about will want to know about your sexual history. And I drive a camry.

 

I suppose it depends on how honest you are and of course the person in question. Speaking for myself, none of my previous have ever shone a torchlight in my eyes at 4.00am and started demanding details of my sexual history whilst periodically slapping me with a leather glove, difference folks/strokes again. I exaggerate of course but my take is generally that sexual history and experience are irrelevant and in the past so it wouldn't matter to me if a girl was a virgin, or even if it was any of my business for that matter.

[Heather.epps]

I believe so. One you cant possibly have a disease, two: you arent going to know if he messes up, 3: he know he was the one you will remember, 4: well i could go on and on.

 

I was a virgin when i met mu husband and he was very apprecaitve and loves that he is the only one ive ever been with.

[valiantv]

Never been with a virgin, but I can see the down-side... They might be very self-conscious and reluctant to do stuff...

[speak]

Never been with a virgin, but I can see the down-side... They might be very self-conscious and reluctant to do stuff...

 

Well, but if you loved her and were to marry her - I am not sure if that would all together matter.

[ghost69]

i would be put off by a virgin if i was date one again. i have never dated one, just took her virginity. it was a mess after that. but she was also early 20s.

[MD Geist]

I would find any virgin after the age of 18 very attractive because they didn't live up to all the hype of teen sex and as a virgin myself at 22 male I would perfer a woman who's still a virgin at a later age than a girl who has had sexual experience.

 

Not nessarly because I would be her first but a chance to grow and develop with that person.

 

Speak. you have nothing to worry about if a guy can't respect the fact that you are waiting till marriage for sex is that the kind of man you would want to be with for the rest of your life?

 

People have there reasons for remaining virgins I can tell you from personal experience than its more than just my faith but what happened to a group of people around me back in the late 90's in my age group who where all virgins including me at the time now all of them either have STD's or are parents right now except me.

 

There is a double standard here because there's nothing wrong with being a virgin IF your a woman.

 

However if your a male and still a virgin at a later age then your known as a loser, theres a redflag don't be around him extc...extc... Being a guy and still a virgin with no relationship experience now thats bad because theres no success or survival guide where on our own.

 

Women on the other than can littarly decide if they want to.

[george237]

I wouldn't take ones again unless I wanted a relatioship. There is way too much attachment for a womans first.

[redtan]

Guys like virgins for a couple of reasons:

 

You're inexperienced, so them being bad about it won't be a big deal since you don't know better.

 

You're inexperienced, so it would be fun for them to teach you.

 

You're 'tighter' that other girls

 

You're clean of STDs

 

They know exactly who you've been with, aka noone, which for me at least is good to know that I'm not one of 30 or so

 

I can go on forever tho, but you get picture. What's better: A brand spanking new purse that noone has touched, is clean and in perfect shape...or a raggedy old dirty purse that has been thru 20 owners and is in bad shape?

[valiantv]

Well, but if you loved her and were to marry her - I am not sure if that would all together matter.

Yeah but if you read the original question, would I (or any guy) be attracted to a woman just because she was a virgin... OTOH if I was attracted to her anyway and she turned out to be a virgin you are right it wouldn't matter, but would I be attracted because she was a virgin (as the original poster suggests), No...

[beauty_is_pain]

when i was 16, i was talking to this guy who lost his virginity at 15, but was 19 at the time i was talking to him. He asked me if i was a virgin and i ad said yes, because it was true at the time. He was actually pretty disgusted at the fact that i was still a virgin and when i asked if that was a problem and hes like only if your saving yourself... Even though i was only a year older than he was when he lost his virginity, so i dont even know

[MD Geist]

People are just soooo stupid in our generation.

 

Girls would rather be with an abusive kind of guy while men want to be players and it works! is the sad part not to mention if your a virgin after high school you might as well not even bother trying to look for anyone.

[Dragunov-21]

if your a virgin after high school you might as well not even bother trying to look for anyone.

 

What? I hope I'm reading that wrong, cuz otherwise I'm gonna have to call bulls**t.

 

It's gonna introduce an extra element of... complexity?, if you're a tender lover, but I certainly wouldn't think any less of a girl for being a virgin at my age, and I'm not sure the majority of guys would either...

 

Or was that directed at guys?

[MD Geist]

What? I hope I'm reading that wrong, cuz otherwise I'm gonna have to call bulls**t.

 

It's gonna introduce an extra element of... complexity?, if you're a tender lover, but I certainly wouldn't think any less of a girl for being a virgin at my age, and I'm not sure the majority of guys would either...

 

Or was that directed at guys?

 

I wasn't referring to women.