Low

[civilservant]

*sigh*

 

So I'm feeling a little down today. I think we all do during the healing and for me its worse on weekends. I'm actually really preferring to be at work and keep myself busy, because when I'm at home I can think with no distractions.

 

Someone told me that we don't morn the loss of people, we mourn our dreams of what we could be with them. If thats true the easy way is to replace the dream, and ive done that. Last week I booked the trip of a lifetime to South Africa to swim with sharks. Its something ive always wanted to do.

 

The high of that replacement lasted about 3 days, and now I'm back to thining about her. I see her occasionally walking to work, and I always wish I would go and say hi, but I don't. Were in LC through a friend.

 

Shes in a really bad place at the moment, her dad is unwell and she seems distracted. My friend who works with has noticed the change in her since we went into LC from NC. He really believes we have a future together, that its a matter if timing, and I'd lve to believe that. The problem is I will wait as long as it takes, at the behest of everything else' in my life, simply because I love her so much. I don't know, the Bly thing I do know is that I wish I could hold her again.

 

*sigh*

[Clabs]

Hi CS

 

Sorry you are feeling a bit down mate. I agree - weekends can be worse if you have time to sit at think about it".

 

That is fantastic news about booking your trip! When are you going? That really will be something to look forward to - boy, I am dead jealous!

 

I know it is tough, but try and get some other fun things booked up to put on your calendar to focus on.

 

You are going to get through this - suck up this down time whilst it lasts because brighter times are ahead of you.

 

Take care mate.

 

Mark

[tina-rocks]

Hi!

 

Swimming with Sharks sounds fantastic. Africa would love to go.

 

On a serious note though. Really sorry your weekend has been dreadful. I know that feeling only too well.

 

All you can do is be there for her in her hour of need but remember you count for something too. your being incredibly brave.

 

Hang in there and we'll make it in the end.

 

Tina x

[starlight40]

 

Someone told me that we don't morn the loss of people, we mourn our dreams of what we could be with them.

 

^ I believe this to be true and is correct in my case.

I find weekends difficult too. Hope you find peace in eventually and good for you for turning your dream into reality with your trip.

[civilservant]

Thanks for your opinions guys. I'm going on this trip may next year, a long time I know but I'm so looking forward to it!

 

Do you think I'm crazy for being prepared to wait for her?

[Clabs]

Hey CS

 

May will soon fly by - and yes - i am still jealous.

 

Do I think you are crazy for waiting for her? No - I don't think you are crazy. But I think you need to be realistic about your life. Nobody knows what the future holds but if you hang yourself back waiting - for something that may never happen, then you are putting your life on hold and setting yourself back from healing.

 

Just my thoughts.

 

Mark