Pegasus Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 I just hope that it is not true Which part? Link to comment
grymoire Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Which part? This part: gry, CP and others - us regular guys always have to pay for sex, it's just that sometimes you get the bill and you are sure you will get sex and sometimes when you get a restaurant bill, you just *might* get some if the opportunity is good. I thought the woman has sex because she wants to have sex... not because the guy got her dinner. Or may be since he got her dinner she likes him and wants to have sex... Either way it does not look pretty...... Link to comment
Pegasus Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 This part: I thought the woman has sex because she wants to have sex... not because the guy got her dinner. Or may be since he got her dinner she likes him and wants to have sex... Either way it does not look pretty...... No....there are few reasons why she would go to a dinner date with you: 1) she is bored and has nothing else to do and free meal is a free meal 2) is serial dater 3) wants to see if there is possibility of nesting with you (having sex / kids / marriage) So, if it's about (3) you are indirectly paying for sex because if you don't pay you will loose prospect of future sex. Link to comment
grymoire Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 So, if it's about (3) you are indirectly paying for sex because if you don't pay you will loose prospect of future sex. so, no money no sex? how is this different from prostitution then? Link to comment
Pegasus Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 so, no money no sex? how is this different from prostitution then? No tax refunds this way Link to comment
grymoire Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 No tax refunds this way haha.. wow man.... u sure sound funny Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 ok, now we're back into the banal argument that women must be prostitutes because men sometimes pay for dinner thing... really guys, give it a rest. all roads DON'T lead to women are prostitutes or evil, no matter how hard you try to take the argument there. Link to comment
Tethys Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Newsflash -- women are people too. Don't forget that. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 ok, now we're back into the banal argument that women must be prostitutes because men sometimes pay for dinner thing... really guys, give it a rest. all roads DON'T lead to women are prostitutes or evil, no matter how hard you try to take the argument there. Totally agree. All this thread is convincing me to do is to be much much pickier about who I date in future!! I had been of the mindset to meet up for coffee with loads of different guys, but now I'm realising that there are some nasty attitudes out there. Dinner = sex???? That's like something from the 1950s, lol. Weird. Link to comment
hers Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 This is my first time commenting on this thread but I've been keeping up with it...the mindset of some of the people on here is so frustrating. No guys, paying for a date does not equal sex. I'm sorry if it appears that way to some of you guys, but women are not as low as you want tot hink they are. We are not all prostitutes looking for a free meal to mask that we are in fact prositutes. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you take a girl out and pay for her and never hear from her again b/c you think this way and it shows? The girl probably isn't calling you back for that reason, not b/c she wanted a free meal. Get over yourselves. Link to comment
bijoux27 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 No....there are few reasons why she would go to a dinner date with you: 1) she is bored and has nothing else to do and free meal is a free meal 2) is serial dater 3) wants to see if there is possibility of nesting with you (having sex / kids / marriage) So, if it's about (3) you are indirectly paying for sex because if you don't pay you will loose prospect of future sex. So what if I pay for dinner and still want to marry him and make babies? What category does that go in? Oh wait this is real life and not everything goes in a perfect category.. The only times I did not pay and did not offer to pay was when I knew I didn't want to see him again. That has happened a couple of times. Call me a user, I don't care. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Ok, girls, with how many guys you had sex and that guy never payed you a drink or dinner? LOL Link to comment
hers Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 If I want sex, I have sex. I don't expect anything in return or try to get anything out of it before I do it. you'd be surprised at how many girls think this same way. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 No....there are few reasons why she would go to a dinner date with you: 1) she is bored and has nothing else to do and free meal is a free meal 2) is serial dater 3) wants to see if there is possibility of nesting with you (having sex / kids / marriage) So, if it's about (3) you are indirectly paying for sex because if you don't pay you will loose prospect of future sex. Well, #3 is why i go on dinner dates. i think your take that he is paying for sex (or future sex/relationships) is kind of .... pessimistic. if a guy invites a girl on a date and doesn't pay for her dinner (like in my case), she may still choose to date him, or she may take this as a sign that he is selfish and not considerate, and walk away. In my case, I chose to continue dating him, but soon after, i saw other ways that he was very selfish. for instance, he tried to pressure me into having sex with him when i was sick, and he refused to take down his online dating profile, even though he told me he only wanted to date me. luckily, i only stuck around with this guy for a few weeks before I saw just how selfish he was. obviously, i could have left right after he didn't pay for my dinner, and i could have saved some time there.... but i decided to give him a chance anyways. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Annie, I get what you're saying. I was following your other threads and I don't have any bad feeling towards you, don't get me wrong. The thing is that we all have agendas when dating. I do think that you understand that what I'm writing is just 50% serious It's a shame I'm not closer to you, you seem intelligent and I love that in a girl. You just have to start picking guys smarter. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Annie, I get what you're saying. I was following your other threads and I don't have any bad feeling towards you, don't get me wrong. The thing is that we all have agendas when dating. I do think that you understand that what I'm writing is just 50% serious It's a shame I'm not closer to you, you seem intelligent and I love that in a girl. You just have to start picking guys smarter. lol, and i do get what you are saying, i know you have no bad feelings. yeah, in a sense, if he doesn't pay on the date, the girl may think he's cheap and inconsiderate and walk away. clearly, there will be no second date, nor a chance at any kind of a future with her (including sex and a relationship). so is he paying to 'get his foot in the door?' yeah, looks like! ugh. i shouldn't have even given that last guy a chance. i also didn't like that he showed up on our date in jeans and a t-shirt advertising alcohol. it's like he wasn't trying at all. i like guys to appear like they've made SOME sort of an effort. stupid me gives people too many chances... Link to comment
Tethys Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Annie, maybe, perhaps, all this time you HAVE had lowered expectations. For FS you are a PHd student, and you should expect an intelligent man. And some of them should be able to take you out to dinner. I do not get all the fuss about that -- he asked you out, he picks the place, he pays for dinner. Period! Maybe you pick up the bill next tine. sigh... Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Annie, maybe, perhaps, all this time you HAVE had lowered expectations. For FS you are a PHd student, and you should expect an intelligent man. And some of them should be able to take you out to dinner. I do not get all the fuss about that -- he asked you out, he picks the place, he pays for dinner. Period! Maybe you pick up the bill next tine. sigh... yeah, seriously..... how i am so smart and can't seem to find a good guy? i can do other smart-like things, like writing papers, doing research, having intelligent conversations with nobel prize winners, etc.... finding a good boyfriend? god, i am useless. 34 year old guy i went out with last weekend just texted me 30 seconds ago. text. sigh. he said he would call last night, but i didn't hear from him. this is so dumb. Link to comment
Tethys Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 yeah, seriously..... how i am so smart and can't seem to find a good guy? i can do other smart-like things, like writing papers, doing research, having intelligent conversations with nobel prize winners, etc.... finding a good boyfriend? god, i am useless. 34 year old guy i went out with last weekend just texted me 30 seconds ago. text. sigh. he said he would call last night, but i didn't hear from him. this is so dumb. Ohh...I feel your pain. Are you still doing online dating? Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 no, not right now. Link to comment
Tethys Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Good! I remember that you were doing that for a bit. Online dating seems to be the worst, lol. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Good! I remember that you were doing that for a bit. Online dating seems to be the worst, lol. ha, all these guys i am meeting in real life. some of the better guys i've actually met online.... maybe i just do a better job of screening people online than i do in person.....? the guy who made me split the check on the first date and showed up in the jeans and t-shirt..... he actually contacted me several years ago online and i rejected him because i thought he was too pushy, i never met him. guess my analysis of him was right!!! Link to comment
Tethys Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Annie, Sorry but I gotta ask -- do you ever date people at your school? I can understand if you don't as it's a small pool if you are working on your PhD, as you usually are working with people you see alll the time! Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 Annie, Sorry but I gotta ask -- do you ever date people at your school? I can understand if you don't as it's a small pool if you are working on your PhD, as you usually are working with people you see alll the time! sometimes. said guy who made me choose the restaurant and then had me split... i met him at a bar, but he is also a PhD student in a field similar to mine. i didn't know him before that day. i've dated several grad students i've also met online, or also in real life... Link to comment
grymoire Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 This is my first time commenting on this thread but I've been keeping up with it...the mindset of some of the people on here is so frustrating. No guys, paying for a date does not equal sex. I'm sorry if it appears that way to some of you guys, but women are not as low as you want tot hink they are. We are not all prostitutes looking for a free meal to mask that we are in fact prositutes. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you take a girl out and pay for her and never hear from her again b/c you think this way and it shows? The girl probably isn't calling you back for that reason, not b/c she wanted a free meal. Get over yourselves. I just want to make sure that I did NOT make any comment suggesting that dinner = sex. In fact I was questioning that: I thought the woman has sex because she wants to have sex... not because the guy got her dinner. So plz don't tag me as the bad guy or the number 1 women hater of ENA again. Link to comment
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