I NEED HELP REAL QUICK!!!

[atticus]

ok. making things short...

 

a very good friend of mine, was together with the love of his life for nearlly two years now, but it seems like she wants to break up saying stuff like "i don't want to get through this together" and stuff, well.. very obvious signs...

 

so he begged me to call at her house and talk to her... i'll try my best...

 

but he really wants to be on the other line, and listen, which i don't think is a good idea, but i can't turn him down, no matter what...

 

well, and he is quite suicidal if it comes to the break up...

 

i really need help?!

[Princess777]

I would support your friend through this hard time if I were you but I would not call her for him.... that is putting you in an awkward position and it is also immature of him to ask you to do that.... if he's old enough to be in a relationship then he should take the good with the bad, be a man and ask her what is wrong, or just ask her out to a decent place to eat or something and talk openly. He needs to tell her that he has noticed her backing off the relationship and that he is concerned. He needs to let her know that he cares about her feelings and would like to know if there is anything he can do to make things better..... unfortunately it sucks but I feel that you need to tell him that while you hope everything goes okay, you feel that she will find him immature and uncaring if he sends you to dig up info.... ya know? Good luck....

[Heretic]

It's definitely key to help build up your friend right now, don't let him get too down on himself about this. He really needs to understand sometimes people need space even in a relationship.

 

Just because someone doesn't want you there when they are doing something doesn't mean they're going to break up with you. It does mean they have issues and THEY should talk about them.

 

I think the main issue is your friends confident is waning and you need to help him with that.

 

Good luck!

[raggamuffin]

Hmm this certainly isnt a very good situation. I wouldnt let him listen on in the conversation in fact i would tell him that you arent going to call and then go and talk to his gf I know thats lying to him BUT surely this girl still cares enough to listen to your side of the story and your worries for you friend. She shouldnt have to stay in the relationship just becasue he is suicidal but maybe shell be able to help you help him. Prehaps if she feels like shes got some support though this tough situation it might make it easier for her and thereforeeee easier for you friend.

[The Morrigan]

See if you can talk him into talking to her himself with you there to support him first - even offer to be his "partner" to figure out what he'll say. If there's any way for him to make the call though - he should. Especially if you think he'd be suicidal, anything he can have a degree of control over will benefit him a bit - and listening in isn't going to be easy on either of you.

 

See if you can get him into a mindset where he can talk to her very calmly and non confrontationally and see what's really up before he panics and contributes to whatever she's thinking, and as was said, mostly make it clear you'll be there as support.