sarahlou Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I'm sorry if this is long winded but I need to ask for advice. My boyfriend of 13 months dumped me 3 weeks ago and I am destroyed. I did everthing for him. Lent him huge sums of money, bought him a car, lent him my car, did his washing ..the list is endless. Anyway, when we met he was at uni, I am 31 and he is 24. Everthing was great at first apart from the fact that he cheated on me on my birthday last year. He said that was my fault tho as I had got too drunk. He also kept texting this girl after but just said that he was tying up a loose end. My best friend hated him and told me that he was playing me and was a control freak. He hated her and never wanted me to go see her or go out with her. In the end I chose him and so have lost the best friend I ever had. I did tell the occasional lie, yes but he lied so much more to me. He put me down continously calling me a retard, and fat - he knew that I hav recently recovered from bulimia. I was always so nervous around him because of the fact that he put me down if I said something or did something wrong. My self esteem is shattered. He hated me going out with friends and said that at my age I should be past that anyway. He also forbid me from wearing low cut tops, short skirts and make up. I don't want to sound conceited but I am fairly attractive and do get attention from men even when just shopping. He used to hate it. One guy even sang the song is she really going out with him when we walked past. He went beserk at me and said that I had encouraged him by looking. It was always ok for him to look at other women tho and comment on their ass etc. That is why I did used to drink when we went out, it gave me confidence that he said he wanted in a girl. He drinks heavily too and when he did drink he kept telling me things like the fact that he kept thinking of ways to mess us up in his head because he didn't like being happy. Or he used to cry over his ex who dumped him and told him she never loved him. Sometimes he was just so lovely and that is the person that I miss. A beautiful person who meant the whole world to me. Other times it was like he was someone else completely. He got a good job when he finished uni and moved over 200 miles away from me. I lent him the money for his deposit on a flat, bought him a car, a bed etc. We were going to see each other every weekend, him coming to me and my kids and me going to him every alternate weekends. Anyway, what happened in the end was that I was upset because he rang and said he was going to a night club with another girl. Said I was a jealous * * * * * and didn't trust him. After that it was his birthday which I was meant to spend with him but he told me he wanted to be alone and think. I rang him on his bday and he was with this girl and another friend. The day after, I went to see him and we sorted things out. 5 days later I was going to see me again and he asked me if I wanted to go to a club and I said yes. He said he was annoyed though because this girl had asked him to go and he had to tell her no because I was going to see him. When I got there we went out for a meal and he had a go at me saying that I couldn't make conversation even though he never tried to make any. The next night we went out and I got a bit drunk and knocked his drink over. That was all. He dragged me out the club. Said I was an embarrassment and disgrace as a girlfriend and I disgusted him. We made up a couple of days later after he told me that he had lost feelings for me but was willing to give it another go. Anyway, he dumped me by e mail 3 days afer that. Said he didn't trust himself to be faithful. I rang him and he told me that he did love me more than anyone he ever had before but had very little feeling for me now. He was so cold and uncaring. I felt as though I didn't know the person I was talking to. He said that I had been a * * * * * for the last two months which was a load of crap. The thing is, I know him and he has pushed every single person away that got to know him too well and that cared for him. He still says that he doesn't regret his decision and won't change his mind. I am crushed and don't know where to turn. I can't bear the thought of him being with someone else and not me. I just want to get him back and make this pain go away. He says that he wants to keep in touch but that it's too much grief at the moment. He hasn't removed any of the photos of us on facebook and so I have to look at them if I look at my photos etc. I gave so much of myself to him and now I feel as though all I am is an empty shell. Tell me how is anyone supposed to love someone like that?..... Link to comment
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