Katiebaby Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Hey hey everyone! I was just curious to ask all the guys out there - when you go on a date with a girl, do you pay or go dutch? (going dutch is the girl paying When my ex and I started going out i was earning more than him so I would pay if I wanted us to go out for dinner etc. When the tables turned, he was earning more than me and we were living together, I was still getting my wallet out. My new fella always INSISTS on paying. There have been a few times where i've flashed my card and beat him to it (hehe drives him bonkers) but he thinks that men who take girls out for dinner, and make them pay, have no pride. MY opinion is that if he wants to take my out, he can pay (but I might be tempted to shout the drinks and if I take HIM out, then I pay. What are your opinions? Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 We are from almost the same place, strange to find a fellow Aussie online. Depends entirely on how much money he is making or how much money he has. If he is a tradesman earning good money who has been doing so for a long time, he should pay for ritualistic reasons I guess... cause the money won't mean so much. If he has just finished uni and only just started earning more than you it should be split 50/50. I know I couldn't afford to take myself and a woman out to dinner all the time so I'd expect her to pay her way. Ack... a 100 dollar dinner bill is possible and not something I'd want to be pick up regularly. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 MY opinion is that if he wants to take my out, he can pay (but I might be tempted to shout the drinks and if I take HIM out, then I pay. What are your opinions? I'd have more respect for a woman that would pay her own way. A woman that expected me to pay, well I'd expect certain things in return and assume she was that type of submissive girl. I want an equal so I'm more progressive in my attitude towards things like that because: a) I am poor and lazy. b) The women I date aren't exactly being hunter down by good looking blokes with tonnes of cash to throw around. Link to comment
Katiebaby Posted August 29, 2008 Author Share Posted August 29, 2008 Oh cool, where abouts in Aus do you call home? I don't mind splitting or anything like that, but us girls sure do love to be doted on from time to time My idea of a good dinner date is Taco Bills or LaPorchetta so I'm a cheap shout anyway! I hate it when a guy takes you out for a date and at the end he's standing there going "um.. how much money do you have?" If I said to my BF okay I'm taking you out for dinner I would absolutely pay, cuz the date was my call, but if he offered to take ME out, then I would let him pay. I think it is polite for a girl that has been taken out to at least buy their man a beer tho. Link to comment
d24 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 i pay when it's my turn, but in the dating process the first few nights will be on me - then we'll alternate or go dutch so it's fair. gentlemen pay... if they can afford to. but nobody wants to get taken for a ride Link to comment
Rising Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I was under the impression that going dutch meant that the bill is split 50/50. I've always paid when I've asked a girl on a date and generally throughout a relationship. It really depends on the girl though. Some 'modern' women want to pay their half, or sometimes foot the whole bill and I think that's okay, although I do still cringe when the bill comes and she reaches for it. Somehow it feels off, but maybe that's because when I grew up it was mostly one-sided and the men paid for dates. I respect a girl who recognizes that she's being taken care of though. I had a girlfriend once who let me spend all of the money I was making on us in our relationship, while she on the other hand was banking all the money she made. Link to comment
kuhl282000 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Hello Guys should pay ....it has always been that way. However a guy every once in a great while likes it when a girl offers to pick up a lunch or something. My former love of my life was super kind when I was out of work and going through a really tough period in my life ........she was taking really good care of me. I owe her a great deal. Stick Together ........no matter what .....don't ever leave your wingman Link to comment
Mutley Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Yea, guys should pay at the beginning....then once a relationship starts, start taking turns. or really, by the fifth date the woman can offer. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Dutch here is spliting the bill. Even if I was asked out I would want to pay. It doesn't matter who makes more money. If the girl insisted and she asked I would be okay with that. Just the way I was raised I guess. lost Link to comment
Night Pumpkin Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I am not sure why you have to make things so complicated !!! Well in my relationship, sometimes I pay, sometimes we split roughly 50 / 50, sometimes she pays everything. Each time is different and no body is keeping count of who pays when and why. If we marry one day (which we plan to) it won't matter anyway because our assets will be one. Also, the issue of who is making more money should not dictate who pays. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I ALWAYS paid with my ex, and in fact every relationship I've been in. But things are going to change next time. With my ex, we'd go out to dinner I'd easily drop $80 2 or 3 times a week, but she would get pissed when I'd 'steal' one of her lean cuisine frozen dinners! She'd complain about always driving her car. I even paid for a maid, and paid for the laundry service. Hell, it wouldn't have bothered me so much if she had actually dropped off and picked up the clothes. To me it wasn't about who paid, it was about making an effort to keep things even. She constantly blow all of her money on vacations, then ask me if I could cover her half of the rent for a few weeks. Once I covered her, but after that, I knew I was being taken advantage of. Funny, she said that's what boyfriends do. LOL. In the time I knew her, she more than doubled her credit card bill, and when my new year's resolution was to get out of debt and start saving for a down payment on a house, she thought we were going to save together............HAHAHA. Yeah right. I started to resent her because of it. I mean, she'd get BENT if I took one of her frozen dinners. UNBELIEVABLE. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 it's a nice gesture to at least offer. i usually pay for dates. once i pay, the girl usually insists on paying the next one. that's how it usually goes for me. Link to comment
StrawberryYogurt Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I ALWAYS paid with my ex, and in fact every relationship I've been in. But things are going to change next time. With my ex, we'd go out to dinner I'd easily drop $80 2 or 3 times a week, but she would get pissed when I'd 'steal' one of her lean cuisine frozen dinners! I don't know why you put up with that for long. What a byatch! Dates: She better at least offer, but I decline the offer. Kinda moot since I always went cheap on first date, like we'd just play tennis and walk around after or something. 2nd date, she better split the bill with me, this is the 21st century! Me and my G/F, I tend to pay 60% of the time, but she fights tooth and nail to be 50/50, but I feel bad 'cos I make a lot more. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I don't know why you put up with that for long. What a byatch! She was hot. Link to comment
StrawberryYogurt Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 She was hot. I figured that LOL. Man, we men need to stop giving women passes just b/c they are hot. Hot doesn't mean squat. Character is so much more important. Link to comment
tabbi75 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 This subject is one of the reasons I don't like dating in the beginning. It's so uncomfortable. I never want to give the impression that I'm taking advantage but it feels so wiered to offer to pay in the first few dates. I hate splitting the bills. I'd like to take turns, but spliting is cheap and unsexy.... Link to comment
Superfreak Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Going dutch isn't "the woman paying" it's sharing expenses, meaning the woman pays but the man does as well. The first date, I always offer to pay for the whole thing. My last g/f let me pay on the first date while the g/f I had before her actually ended up paying for me on the first date. After the first date, from the second date onwards, in the relationships I've had we tend to take turns. I couldn't stay with a woman that wanted me to pay on all dates or even the vast majority of dates. Link to comment
madmarten Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Yea, guys should pay at the beginning....then once a relationship starts, start taking turns. or really, by the fifth date the woman can offer. Ditto this for me too. 1-3 dates guys pay. After that then maybe you can go dutch or take turns. If the girl will not let you pay for the first date, well then guess what its not a date (In most cases), and I hope you have another date (with somebody else) lined up. Link to comment
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