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Life w/out my dad


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so its almost been a yr. since my dad killed himself.. i still see myself having break downs but not as bad anymore and not as common.

but i still think of him everyday. I always wonder is he ever around me like near me and can see me or anything?

 

i visit his grave almost every weekend. and i cry but dont just bawl i cry and jus miss him to death .

its just you never know how truly you love someone until their gone.. i had a call from him 6 mins b4 he died... i deleted it cause i said good-bye and needed to move on..

 

i drive by his old house that he killed himself in.. and wanna go in the garage sooooooo bad but my bf wont let me.. idk why? someone help me are these thought and feeling normal?

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yea.. my 1st day of school he killed himself.. man he was my everything id do anything t make him happy and proud of me. i jus wish he knew that he coulda go help n that everyone he thought didnt love him they acutally do....

 

and i wanna know is he ever around me like if he is would i be able to tell?

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I am sure he was very proud of you and that he loved you with all his heart.

Suicide and the after effects are horrible. Being left with the big question "why?" is hard.

 

I believe that spirits can visit their loved ones. Sometimes you can sense or feel them.

 

My grandma died in my parents house back when I lived there. I would swear on anything that her spirit is there.

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Hey babygirl,

 

I'm very to sorry to hear about your Dad. I know how it feels to lose someone so close to you. My Mother died of cancer when I was 14 years old and the time after was very hard. The first year without them is probably the hardest. From my own experiences, I can tell you that the pain of knowing you won't be able to see or talk to them anymore isn't going to go away but it will get easier over time. There will come a time when your ready to fully accept the changes in your life and a time where you can find happiness in remembering the good moments you shared together. It's only been a year since it has happened so I'd say the wound is still fresh. It might help to read through a few self help books or try to talk to others who understand what your going through. If you feel like stopping by your Dads house will help you in this process then maybe you should but only if you feel like you are completely ready. Just understand the negative effects it might have over how your feeling. Is it something you want to do? Something you think you can handle? Or are you going to walk out feeling worse than you did before?

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