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My girlfriend of a year and a half cheated on me a couple of months ago. She checked her e mail in front of me and I saw e mails from him and e mails she had sent. I lost it.


I truly loved her and I thought she loved me. It was a couple of months ago and we were in a "rough patch" but still. I'm crushed. We just signed a lease together so there's not many options. Plus, despite it all I feel like I still love her. Yet all I can think about is them sleeping together. All i see is his face and want to destroy him. I used to be a very fun and happy person. Now I can't even bring myself to smile or be pleasant.


I would never go through with it, but suicide feels like a real option for once in my life. Can anyone please give me some insight? What would you do?

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Give her an ultimatum. If her replies hint at something sexual, or something 'closer' to him, than give her an ultimatum.

Don't be a doormat, no matter how much you love her.

Become distant and cold with her.

Otherwise, she'll treat you like a safety net. She will lose respect for you if you keep chasing her and telling her you love her, etc.

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that is not something that is worth thinking of "SUICIDE" - please trust me... I've been cheated on in every relationship I have been in except for the very last one - at least I dont think he cheated on me and if he has - then well he can live with that for the rest of his life not me.. - but as far as your situation goes - the hardest type of relationship to recover from is 1. cheating and 2. abuse - you deserve better.. I know it hurts but pretend like it does not bother you - why? IT WILL KILL HER. Think of reverse psychology - here is a situation. Boy girl - boy breaks up with girl and the girl goes balistic - that shows the guy that GOOD this is what i expected from her and I made the right choice because of how crazy she is going over this.


Now boy/girl - boy breaks up with girl - girl puts a smile on her face and says "thank you - thank you for making me realize that you are right and this should have been over a while ago" that pisses the guy off she is not supposed to agree with him she is supposed to defend herself.


SO thereforee if you happen to talk to her - just say thank you - thank you for making you forget what you feel and remember what you honestly really deserve in your future relationships.

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I definitely wasn't a doormat in this. As soon as I saw the messages I slapped her. I've never laid a finger on a female before but I was filled with rage.


She swears it happened once and apologized for it. For 2 days I didn't speak to her and told her I wanted her out. But I can't bring myself to actually make her leave. We went through a lot of * * * * together, I'm still shocked that this happened.


Immediately after it happened when we talked about the possibility of staying together I told her that I was going to explore my options and see what some other women have to offer. The problem is, we're stuck in this lease together and neither of us can afford it alone. Already tried finding a roommate without much luck.


I'm stuck.

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First of all never ever raise your hand to a women! Real men do not hit!

Trust is very hard to get back after something like this. Not just you trusting her again, but any women. This will not just go away with time. You need to actively deal with the pain and betrayal you feel for the person you think you love. Games are petty that don't accomplish anything but lowering you to her level. Everyone wants the pain to go away, but ending your life or even speaking of it is not the answer and you know that. If you choose to forgive her it will be your well being, not hers. I believe you carry more hurt over this than she does because she is still in contact with him.

Don't end up being a choice...it may not be long before she chooses to be with someone else.



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