8 1-night stands... what do I make out of it?

[StrawberryYogurt]

If you want to date you to have accept it as it is. You can't say I want to date but I will not get physically intimate with you until marriage. Most guys would think you are kidding and walk away.

 

She should do whatever she wants, she just needs to be prepared to wade through the non-compatibles. I also don't believe in being physically intimate before marriage and it took a long time to meet a girl who wanted to wait like me and had all the other great things too, but it happened and I'm glad I stood by my principles.

[garam masala]

what does that mean?

 

yea...what does that mean?

 

Honestly, I don't have too much of a problem if he has a risque past as long as he's clean. But this guy seems desperate, he shouldn't have told u all of that so soon. Also, he seems like he just wants to find a bride, and it doesn't really matter who she is. Anybody who says he just wants to get married "quickly" is a little questionable.

[george237]

Who the hell tells somebody that. There are some weird people out there.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

yea...what does that mean?

 

Well it could mean many things but I bet that what it means here is that most of the people posting on this thread do not understand eastern culture and how it relates to male-female and sex relations very well. Most people probably understand that the culture is conservative on these matters.

 

But it's more complex than that in terms of how eastern cultures view marriage and what marriage means in terms of function etc.

[star2008]

a) He's not able to get a girlfriend who he imagines would have sex with him.

b) Hence he uses prostitutes.

c) He wants to get married quickly because he's not happy using prostitutes and wants a wife to have sex with.

 

That's what it looks like to me. I reckon he told the truth because he thinks his views on using women for sex are normal and right not because he was trying to confess any wrong doings. He's not asking for forgiveness.

[ycmanvs]

I do not think that this type of informations should be discussed so soon, but in a way it is better because then you can decide if it is something you would want in a partner. So, the only issue here is whether or not you are ok with someone who does this type of activity when he needs sex and does not have a partner.

If this is not something that bothers you, then you can meet him, but if it is a problem for you, then you should stop talking to him at this point.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

a) He's not able to get a girlfriend who he imagines would have sex with him.

b) Hence he uses prostitutes.

c) He wants to get married quickly because he's not happy using prostitutes and wants a wife to have sex with.

 

That's what it looks like to me. I reckon he told the truth because he thinks his views on using women for sex are normal and right not because he was trying to confess any wrong doings. He's not asking for forgiveness.

 

I wouldn't be so harsh on the guy. Why does he need forgiveness anyway? He didn't offend the OP.

 

We don't know that all he wants a wife for is sex. We barely know anything about him, all we know is that he has boundary issues. Which may be enough, but we needn't judge him morally.

[grymoire]

what does that mean?

 

What I mean is Asian people, especially Indians are very different when it comes to Dating and Marriages. Unlike in the USA we have something called Arranged Marriages. Here Marriage can only mean that two people fell in love and are getting married. In India we have two different types of marriages - Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage. Arranged Marriages, as the name implies, are arranged by the parents of the guy and the girl. There is no love involved there...

 

Indians trying to date do not fully understand what it exactly means and go about with the wrong expectations. It is a western tradition. You cannot expect eastern values while adopting to a western tradition. One of the OP's past thread asks if she can date but have sex only after marriage. That is typical Indian mentality - Sex only after marriage. But trying to have that expectation while going on dates in the USA is a bummer. Sure there will be some guys that would agree but they are exceptions.

 

I once dated an Indian girl And she would ask me "have you ever kissed a girl?" and I replied "yes of course". And she said "that's bad... you can only kiss your wife... and your parents and siblings on the cheek... anything other than that is bad".. This girl is an Indian, born and raised in London and now living in New Jersey. If she is so conservative imagine how would a girl from India be ](*,)](*,)

 

Things are changing now, especially in the big cities but in general Indian mentality when it comes to dating and marriage is very conservative. Even if this guy didn't spill his beans there is a good chance for the OP to ask him "have you ever had sex before?". I am not saying she asked but I wouldn't be surprised if she did ask him that question. Indian women cannot accept the fact that their men had sex before marriage.

[ghost69]

^^^i get it now. explaining this earlier with your previous post would have helped man.

[grymoire]

^^^i get it now. explaining this earlier with your previous post would have helped man.

 

yea.. but i was in a rush when i posted that previous one...

 

honestly i don't understand what would be the ideal answer when a girl asks questions like - "have you kissed a girl before?", "have you had sex before?", "have you gone to strip clubs before?" ... American men and women will not ask such questions because they already know the answers.. and it is not a big deal because it is the norm here... But Indian girls will ask and hope against hope that the answers to those questions is a "no". If the guy honestly says "yes" there is a good chance that the girl won't date him. Some will appreciate his honesty and would agree but that is an exception.

 

I guess the guy the OP is talking about was being honest hoping to impress her but as is the norm it is pushing her away from him.

[ghost69]

i didn't see where the guy asked her, i think he just busted this information out to her. weird.

 

i understand what you are saying grym. if some girl asked me questions like that i'd look at her funny cause i would think she would think it's assumed i have.

[grymoire]

i didn't see where the guy asked her, i think he just busted this information out to her. weird.

 

i understand what you are saying grym. if some girl asked me questions like that i'd look at her funny cause i would think she would think it's assumed i have.

 

yea.. in this case the guy was being a dummy and spilled his beans and it is now working against him.... i am sure he did that assuming his honesty will impress her... but it only impressed the OP's girlfriends and not the OP.

 

fortunately you are an American so you would never encounter such questions... but me being an Indian i am sure to be asked... i will be damned if i say "yes"