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update!!!! She texted after 29 days NC


kickedin

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I m freaked about the chain of events.....so here goes her brother went to dinner with her on monday night and in their conversation it came up that im dating a girl and moving on he said she was taken back.......

 

so less then 24 hrs lter i get a text

 

her: hi, xxxx how are you? can i pick up my house key from you? i need it for my cleaning girl

 

me: sure i ll be at my office in about an hour

 

her: i cant make it tonight im stuck at work maybe tomorrow?

 

me: k

so the next day she calls me and says im on break i wanted to call you earlier but can we meet after work i say fine......sh calls and says lets meet for coffee...we wind up going to an earlier outside dinner.....

WE HAD A BLAST!!!! laughing breaking stones etc.....she asked to do it again and asked if we can hang out again cause she liked it...(from what i hear the new guy is a dud) i said "you were supposed to be my wife whats the point of hagning out now" she just looked down

 

anyway she texted me after she left

 

her: "thanks for dinner it was nice seeing you i promise to stay in touch"

 

me: ditto as you would say

 

her: you look really good and im really proud of what you are doing

 

me: thanks that means alot coming from you i guess it was all those years of you being hard on me lol

 

she didnt respond....so her bro invited me to dinner with the rest of her family (she was getting her nails done because i cracked on her about not having her manicured nails she made an appt right there lol) about an hour later i texted her " i guess you dont agree" she called me and asked where i was ....i said eating with your family she i said stop up for a drink...she said i dont want to give them the wrong idea...i m like whatever just come have a drink cause apparently she hasnt really seen them she was feeding me ...funny right?

 

it was weird but we had a good time....so then we went back to her sisters new house to check it out.....she rode with me in my car with her nephew....she asked me if i was going to the beach....i said yeah....she was like i should have figured

 

i told her after we got there remind me to tell you something before we leave...she was like ok.....then two mins later shes says tell me now......

 

i said i know its hard to see your sister buying a new house....and i want you to know i wanted all this for us and i that you werent just apiece of AZZ that i stayed with untik your time ran out and i traded you in for another.....it just didnt come together like i planned and im sorry....she looked about to cry i walked away....

 

she asked to sit in my car until her sister got there with the keys cause she had to make a call i assume to the new guy.....but i also think to break my stones because my phone wa sblowing up and she kept asking who it was.

 

 

so we hung out there for a bit we left i opned her door she tahnked me i got in the car and said just cause youre not my gf doesnt mean i wont trwt you like a lady she said thanks and that she was cold i put her seat heater on she asked me why i was quiet i said i was just exhausted...we got back to her car i sat back awy from her her told i her i had a good time it was nice seeing her and her family and yea it was a weird night she said she had a nice time seeing me and that she would talk to me soon.....i told her good night and be safe......she smiled and got out.....

 

all i can say is wow!!!!! and im torn but i feel good that she knows im seeing someone and still wants to see me

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Having read a lot of your previous posts, it sounds like you were doing really well and she's reeling you back in....again. Why not focus on the new girl your seeing?

 

i am focusing on her......but i m feeling stronger and she senses that....i just dont know how to handle is she starts contacting more to hang out

 

 

it did feel nice and commfy

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all i can say is wow!!!!! and im torn but i feel good that she knows im seeing someone and still wants to see me

 

She still wants to see you because you're seeing someone else.

 

It's the green-eyed monster rearing its head

 

What do you want from her KI?

And where are you at with the new girl?

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She still wants to see you because you're seeing someone else.

 

It's the green-eyed monster rearing its head

 

What do you want from her KI?

And where are you at with the new girl?

 

 

 

I agree.

 

I would be careful with this, if you dump the other girl, and get back with your "ex", you could end up losing both.

 

Is that worth it?

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I would focus on the new girl and just keep the ex in the background...try not to worry about it unless she really makes an attempt to get back with you...everything else is just friendly...I'd stop bringing up the old stuff and keep focusing on having fun if you decide to keep hanging out with her.

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i plan on keep working on myself.....have fun with the new girl and let the ex b miz with her choice.....for the first time in almost 4 years i fianlly feel ok not to need her and can relax after seeing her even though she has someone else........well news flash i do too and it would take a helliva alot to pull me away from the new girl even though its a short relationship....so far......im ok i think

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I'm sorry I disagree with your own reasoning, it didn't take "helliva lot to pull you away"- all it took was one text message from her and you were there again at her beck and call, meeting her, and having dinner at her family's home and spending time alone together.

 

And from the "wow!!!!! and im torn but i feel good that she knows im seeing someone and still wants to see me" it's coming accross as you are using this new girl as bait to hook your ex into commiting.

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i m sorry i shouldhave said i am best friends with her brother for over 10 years and very close with the family way before we dated she was married.........so it wasnt uncommon for me to share dinner with the fam....and it was at a restaraunt

 

and yes......she does still get my goat

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well lets see.......ex never called.....new girl found out about the meeting .....through mutual people......ex was staying at beach with new guy.....sleeping over etc....(god only knows if they are having sex) she was asking my new girls best friend...if we are dating and she already knew that.....then asked if she knew that we went to dinner......and my friend told her yes....(like she wanted it to get back to my new girl anway she could) now the new girl and i said its best to be friends for now....the ex is obviously trying to sabatoge this new deal....i dont know im soooo confused its her bday today and i dont even want to say anything to her....im so shredded like a fool!!!!

 

whats sad is i thought the ex may have realized something about her and i but obviously she didnt so now i have to really think my next moves if the ex calls....because i want to really confront her if she is seeing someone why the urge and desire to hang with me......was it just to ruin my relationship......or did she genuinely want to see me.....

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You sabotaged the relationship with this new girl by going behind her back and trying to make plans with the ex. It showed her that you are not over her. Until you stop going back to this toxic relationship (it's not even a relationship anymore) you are going to keep doing this.

 

Why in God's name would you say anything to her for her birthday? I understand there may be a temptation, but at some point you need to just cut her loose and what better time then now?

 

Move on. Let the new girl go. Next time there is another new girl, learn from these mistakes.

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i get a call from her at 826 am this morning...."hi how are you?" "i scratched my brothers wheel this weekend and i want to know what it will cost me to fix it?"

 

i said yeah i heard make a joke about the price and cut her short....cause i told her someone walked in...told her i would call her later

 

THIS IS CRAZY!!!!

 

her bro and i are best friends i already knew about his wheel......i think she is fishing cause i did NOT rech out on her bday yesterday .....and if she was so happy with her new guy why didnt she just tell her brother to give her the bill.......why call me?

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i get a call from her at 826 am this morning...."hi how are you?" "i scratched my brothers wheel this weekend and i want to know what it will cost me to fix it?"

 

i said yeah i heard make a joke about the price and cut her short....cause i told her someone walked in...told her i would call her later

 

THIS IS CRAZY!!!!

 

her bro and i are best friends i already knew about his wheel......i think she is fishing cause i did NOT rech out on her bday yesterday .....and if she was so happy with her new guy why didnt she just tell her brother to give her the bill.......why call me?

 

and your sucked right back in.

 

are you listening? stop with this girl. it's time.

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and your sucked right back in.

 

are you listening? stop with this girl. it's time.

 

no i will not talk with her about his wheel...him and i already did.....i know shes playing with me

 

my two options are call her out on all this BS and ask her why if we were supposed to get married and she chose to break it off and is now seeing someone why she chooses to try to stay in communication with me?

 

or just ignore her

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no i will not talk with her about his wheel...him and i already did.....i know shes playing with me

 

my two options are call her out on all this BS and ask her why if we were supposed to get married and she chose to break it off and is now seeing someone why she chooses to try to stay in communication with me?

 

or just ignore her

 

 

Option 2 is the right one.

I have a nagging feeling that you'll opt for the first one however.

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no i will not talk with her about his wheel...him and i already did.....i know shes playing with me

 

my two options are call her out on all this BS and ask her why if we were supposed to get married and she chose to break it off and is now seeing someone why she chooses to try to stay in communication with me?

 

or just ignore her

 

you should say:

 

"i have one option. ignore her."

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well i thought that when she contacts me to say this

 

"i gave you all of me....you broke my heart and said you wanted none of me.....you have a person that you are seeing and yet still contact me for really nothing important .....unless you have changed your mind and want to commit to making us work 110% with no doubt hesitation or second thought with no exceptions today.....i want you to not contact me......you had you chance with me and chose to go a different way without me"

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well i thought that when she contacts me to say this

 

"i gave you all of me....you broke my heart and said you wanted none of me.....you have a person that you are seeing and yet still contact me for really nothing important .....unless you have changed your mind and want to commit to making us work 110% with no doubt hesitation or second thought with no exceptions today.....i want you to not contact me......you had you chance with me and chose to go a different way without me"

 

 

Please point out to me something in that message that she doesn't already know.

 

Ignore her.

 

You want to open a dialogue with her, and it is blatantly obvious (from your drafted message above) that you are looking for a reaction from her...you want her to 'come to her senses'.

That is not going to be triggered by something you say, it will only be triggered by the things that you do....ignore her.

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