Dani0613 Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Hey all, I've posted my story on here under numerous threads. My ex and I have been broken up for a little over 2 months but have remained LC during that time frame. Neither one of us has been with anyone else, nor have we had the desire to. I've enlisted the help of a therapist to work thru some of the anger and heartache I was feeling, while my ex went a different route with blonde highlights and a pierced nipple. lol. Anyway, my therapist, who also focuses on couples therapy suggested that I bring my ex with me to another appointment. Though this was a great suggestion, it wasn't something I was prepared to ask her, nor would I even allude to the idea of it because I was working on ME and she needed to be working on HER. Fast forward to this morning...We talked briefly on the phone and somehow the therapy came up. She asked me if my therapist thought she was crazy and I said, 'no'. I told her what the therapist had said and she said she would go with me to talk. I was FLOORED and DEFINITELY NOT expecting for her to agreed to it. Though we're not reconciling or talking about being together, I'm very happy that she's taking this step with me and going to talk with a professional so we can both air things out and gain a perspective that we wouldnt have otherwise. What do you guys think? Link to comment
meepmeep20 Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Perhaps some improvements? Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Sounds like a step in the right direction. Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 It's certainly a step in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a third party to bring the problems to light. Go for it. Good luck. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 Thanks guys, I'm very happy that she's agreed to go with me and I'm hoping that this helps her too. I know she's agreed to go b/c she feels it would help me to understand things, but I would like for her to identify with some things within herself as well. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I think we all realize that, it will benefit you both. I think it's a posititive thing for each of you and should you get back together, posititive for a new relationship. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 I appreciate the support you're all providing, truly. This morning, she had asked me what it was I talked to the therapist about and I commented on the book she recommended I buy and read; 'The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce'. The book discusses the repercussions divorce has on children as they enter young adulthood and begin to cultivate their relationships. When I addressed some of the concerns my ex said, 'Wow, that pretty much explains me to a 'T'. Now, the fact that she's willing to explore this with me, makes me so incredibly grateful.... I'm continuing to have faith and hope..it's gotten me this far. .. So have all of you. xo Link to comment
Steve 7745 Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I appreciate the support you're all providing, truly. This morning, she had asked me what it was I talked to the therapist about and I commented on the book she recommended I buy and read; 'The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce'. The book discusses the repercussions divorce has on children as they enter young adulthood and begin to cultivate their relationships. When I addressed some of the concerns my ex said, 'Wow, that pretty much explains me to a 'T'. Now, the fact that she's willing to explore this with me, makes me so incredibly grateful.... I'm continuing to have faith and hope..it's gotten me this far. .. So have all of you. xo Thank you, I must read that book!! Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted August 29, 2008 Author Share Posted August 29, 2008 Yes, you should! The book has actually helped me with this situation tremendously and explains a LOT. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 So, I spoke with my ex this weekend and made the mistake of alluding to being together again. Long story short? She asked me if I would be willing to take one of our dogs b/c having both of them is stressful for her. I said that I would think about it but that I just wished we could all be a family eventually. She flipped out and said I shouldnt say things like that. Of course, I was a little surprised because this was coming after she agreed to go to the therapist with me this week. Now she tells me that no stranger is going to tell her about her life, etc etc. What the? WHY go to therapy with me then? She tells me it's because she wants to help me. Help me? WHY on earth would I want the person who is causing me so much heartache go to the therapist with me to talk about HOW I'M HURTING over this? I THOUGHT she was going to go to talk about 'us'... Honestly, I give up..I've tried. Does this make sense to anyone?? Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Let her go. She is obviously not in it for the "us". Eventually she'll use the therapy thing against you at some point. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 I dont know 'who' she is anymore b/c she did a complete 180 after her step father died. Honestly, I never saw this change in her coming.. Link to comment
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