Jump to content

internet dating?


Recommended Posts

I've had great success with online dating. Three relationships, the shortest six months and the longest, 9 years and counting. I'm not really good looking, just girl-next-door cute and my bf is not cute. He is tall, built like a linebacker, and balding. I like this but he will never make the cover of GQ. He is not rich, either. We have a nice lifestyle, we are both professionals, but rich we are not. If you know how to write and have a lively phone conversation, it's no problem to have success with meeting people on the internet.

Link to comment

Be careful.


$50 can but a whole lot of personal info from the internet and I suggest using it.


I started dating a really nice, sane, normal, funny HOT guy I met on line. A cop friend decided to run his name... 4 orders of protection. 1 arrest for attempted rape, charges were dropped. With some further looking, the 4 OP's were from 2 different women.


He's a thing of the past to say the least and I refuse to date ANYONE I don't have as much info as humanly possible on.

Link to comment
For some of us shy people Internet dating may be the ONLY way we will ever meet people.


That's true.. But you can't use the Internet as a crutch. You will, inevitable have to go outside and talk to people in the real world. So continuous growth and work on self-esteem is a must.

Link to comment

i don't want to internet date because im shy. im not bad looking either. im successful, i've graduated from college... and until i relocated a few months ago i had my own apartment. paid for everything on my own.


its extremely difficult to find successful men my age. i find boys. lots of boys. boys who don't even know car insurance exists yet.


i figure the internet might allow me to be more selective in finding someone to date. most people working full time in careers... they are usually home relaxing anyways!

Link to comment

Had one great experience and one bad.


Also in contact with a couple of educated hotties and meeting them soon.


Its basically another avenue IMO. If your bad at dating in the real world you will be bad at dating online.


I used it to broaden my horizons, would defo use it again if current dating pool dried up.

Link to comment
For some of us shy people Internet dating may be the ONLY way we will ever meet people.


I think you are right.


I did it once. It was not those dating sites or anything but it was a discussion board. Met this amazing girl and it worked out really well for me. But I dont think it is for everyone.

Link to comment

I never used the internet as a way to get to know a potential date (other than screening for safety and whether I thought we would be able to have a 45 minute conversation in person) but I met many men in person where our first contact was through an on line dating site. There was a percentage of them I already knew or knew of in person. In general I had good experiences, am still in touch with one or two as friends (one who I dated in 2002), and my longest dating relationship was about 3 months a few times. If I hadn't been so good at "screening" on the phone I am sure I would have had a higher percentage of bad dates. Where I live, there were well over 500 matches for the "criteria" I would plug into the preferences part of the dating sites so there were many people to choose from.


About ten of my friends - all high quality people in every way - met their spouses through dating sites and I know of many more. A number of them have been married for several years now and have children.


It was a good way for me to meet people in addition to the other ways because I was extremely busy at my career with unpredictable hours and didn't feel I was at my best in a loud crowded bar/club (I'm more the girl next door type I guess and do better getting to know someone one on one).

Link to comment
Tried it twice.


Guy #1 Nice person but no spark between us but we still keep in touch. Duration 3wks but gained a great friend


Guy #2 Came accross as the most fabulous guy going but turned out to be a smooth operator and hurt me badly. Duration 7wks (he was also quite vain)


Will never do online dating again but I'm glad I tried it. It's good to try anything once.


I've met guys like No. 2 in several different ways - are you sure you should be blaming how you happened to meet him for the fact that he was shady?

Link to comment

I went to a singles event last Thursday. It's an interesting group. It's not like speed dating, and there isn't an emphasis on hooking up. They just have things set-up so that you are interacting with a lot of people and having a good time.


I don't think I met my "soul-mate" or anything, but it does feel good to get out there.


There was also a variety of different types of women there. I play in so many sports, that I forget that not all women like to run around. Some are interesting..others are, I really don't understand why they are the way they are....

Link to comment
In my experience, I have never met someone like guy#2 before in any other circumstance.


I did say at the end of my post that I, personally, will not be using online dating again but I didnt tell the OP to not give it a go.


My experience was just unfortunate and off-putting for me. That's all.

Yes, and that is why I responded in kind. I don't think you should try it again either if that one experience was so off putting but I've never heard of anyone who only had the "smooth operator" experience with someone they met through an on line dating site - other than your story. Again, it's your decision - so many people I know meet their spouses/significant others that way -- but very often it takes far more than two tries so it's definitely not for someone with your mindset about it.

Link to comment
I get your point Batya but you weren't on the receiving end of that guy I met.


I have met players over the years and even some of my close male friends are players but none of them would measure up to the guy i met online. That's why I said I've never came accross someone so smooth, sly and devious before. He had it all off to a tee.


I respectfully disagree that this says anything in general about who is on the internet. You could have met him in any context where you were not meeting through people you knew who could vouch for him. If you want to avoid that situation then you should avoid meeting anyone other than through people who know the person (even then there is a risk but obviously less so) including bars, in public or any other random way, not just the internet. Out of the 100 men I met in person one was a pathological liar and I guess one other was probably a player (as much as I could tell in one meeting).


I met one person through a personal ad many years ago who sexually assaulted me and also harassed several of my friends. Last I checked, he was kicked off eharmony. I chose not to let it stop me from meeting people through personal ads/the internet. You are entitled of course to make a different choice.


I did encounter - through e-mail and by reading profiles - a number of losers/jerks/player types but I simply stopped communication with them after one email or didn't start in the first place. When I used to go to clubs and bars many years ago it was no different other than it wasn't as safe because then if someone like that approached me it was in person.


Again I am sorry you had that experience and that you are choosing to let it affect your view of meeting people through dating sites in general. Given your choice I completely agree that you shouldn't meet any other men through the internet (or in any other way where you two don't know the same people). It's certainly not for everyone!

Link to comment
Thanks Batya...you're right, I shouldn't let one jerk turn me off me off online dating for good.






I should add that my best relationships have been with people I met through friends (either casually or set up on a blind date) or at work. And, several of the on line people I met in person were friends with some of the same people I was. That familiarity is a big plus and not just for safety reasons.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...