Is it wrong to want to stay with someone because you think it will be too hard to find somebody else

[Daegas]

Look when I was with my ex I didn't even think about other women. I never considered I could do any better because she was perfect in my eyes. You on the other hand are thinking is this the best I can do? Can't I get somebody a little better looking and a little bit better match for me? There is nothing wrong with this but you shouldn't drag her along if you don't have the same feelings for her.

And that is true passion: thinking she is perfect. Sadly, with most people this flame withers and dies out and they do too little to keep the flame burning or relight it. So sad......

[madmarten]

And that is true passion: thinking she is perfect. Sadly, with most people this flame withers and dies out and they do too little to keep the flame burning or relight it. So sad......

 

But nobody is perfect. Least of not me, that's for sure.

[george237]

But nobody is perfect. Least of not me, that's for sure.

 

Look I know she wasn't perfect we all have our flaws but she was perfect to me. I used to just stare at her and think of how wonderful she was. Now this is before we started going sour, about a year before the breakup.

 

I think you know you should want to be with somebody if you would do anything in your power just to see her smile. Where you would cancel the most important thing in your life because she needs you. That's how I used to feel. Will I ever get it again, I am sure I will but it took a long time to find that one so i am not expecting anything and time soon.

[madmarten]

Look I know she wasn't perfect we all have our flaws but she was perfect to me. I used to just stare at her and think of how wonderful she was. Now this is before we started going sour, about a year before the breakup.

 

I think you know you should want to be with somebody if you would do anything in your power just to see her smile. Where you would cancel the most important thing in your life because she needs you. That's how I used to feel. Will I ever get it again, I am sure I will but it took a long time to find that one so i am not expecting anything and time soon.

 

Well, I would do anything to see her smile. It is just things happened very fast, and not in the cookie-cutter typical way. Just alot of thoughts banging around in my head.

[george237]

Well, I would do anything to see her smile. It is just things happened very fast, and not in the cookie-cutter typical way. Just alot of thoughts banging around in my head.

 

Well then talk to her about them. I wouldn't tell her about the i think I might be able to find someone more attractive then you thing but tell her everything else. If you are questioning your ltr coming up tell her your doubts and I am sure you will see she has the same.

[redhearts]

I'm gigglying now! Theres a difference with wording. Say if you were to put it first that you love the woman your with how much you value her etc vs. that you want to date around because you want to see what is out there and all that you said. You initially left out how much you cared for this lady that it made it seem almost that you had little interest and you were just staying with her because you didn't think you could do better. Like to me it seemed that you weren't entirely head over heels for her, but you were just saying okay this is as good as it'll get because you don't want to waste anymore time searching. Because you don't know if you'll find someone that you'll find more attractive who will feel the way she does. You basically sound like you want a hotter version of her that you be more attracted to.

 

So if you have any doubt that your lady is beautiful or your questioning things like that, its a little flag.

[madmarten]

I almost should have not included any (or as much) personal information and just posted a purely hypothetical question. I was looking for for an analytical response and failed to consider the emotion I would generate.

 

Ok to summarize I just feel some conflict in going from not being able to get a girlfriend to finding a really awesome girl that likes me alot and life circumstances have greatly accelerated the seriousness of the relationship. Adding to complications is she is not a US citizen and not of my race. I am not specifically bothered by that, other than it is something that neither I nor my family is used to. This combined with pressure of a LDR, would lead many people to discontinue the relationship. Looks wise she has grown on me, but it first it was something I was not used to.

 

When you look at relationship and wether to continue it, Sometimes it is better to consider things rationally and make check list of likes and dislikes etc, and not just go with all the butterfly feelings.

 

I guess my point is, one factor in the "yes" list is the difficulty of finding a new relationship. With me this seems to be exasperated. Dating has been difficult. This question I will post in a new thread

 

Ironically, it because I don't want to want to throw away a good thing that I am considering this.

Oh well I guess I have answered my own question.