Loooong Distance!

[SamT]

Hi guys, I just came on here for a bit of advice..

So I randomly joined this Dating site about 3 weeks ago. I didnt think anything of it, I just thought itd be a laugh, and at the time I was a bit bored.

I talked with a few girls, and some I got along with well, at first a girl from America who is soo sweet. I now talk to her on AIM nearly everyday.

 

Then I met another girl from Australia! (half way accross the planet!) Anyway, I thought nothing of it at first, and we carried on talking. She is very sweet and I think about her alot these days. Shes 9 hours ahead of me, but we talk everyday for about 6 hours! I never even notice the time go by, we must get on amazingly.

She even has my number now and she txts me everyday and rings me for about an hour ($$?!) lol

Anyway, Im sure we have a great connection, and earlier being on webcam assured me that Im attracted to this girl.

 

But..sometimes I wonder if its a bit too far away? I mean realistically, am I ever going to meet this girl? Ive told her if I do my only chance would be a year from now, if I went to visit Australia for about a month or so..Itd be pretty exciting doing some sort of road trip, and Id also see my sister who's just moved out there.

 

In some ways Im a bit worried about things moving a bit too fast especially seen as nothing can acctually happen until next year or something?! Eventhough i enjoy talking to her, wont it drive us both crazy after a while?

Its just so weird that Ive acctually met a girl over the internet (she feels the same) and Im getting strong feelings for her!

Oh and Im only 20 and Im in University...so theres a lot to think about...

 

Thanks for any comments/advice.x

[Mutley]

What you are feeling is "false intimacy."

 

There is no way you can develope feelings for someone until you meet them face to face.

 

I've been there....hot and heavy over the phone and internet......we meet....it melts in seconds.

 

Only pursue this if you think your going to move there....if not, it's a waste of time.

[SamT]

Yeah I mean its not as if were intimate as such right now, probably because we both know its a bit crazy. And that what Ive been thinking about this whole internet idea. What if we meet and the 'physical connection' just isnt there?! I could be stressing too much to be honest...

 

As for moving out there..its a possibility..my sister just moved out there, and Im pretty sure I could do the same. I was honestly thinking about moving to America/Australia after I graduate anyway...So Im not sure if this could be a good thing that I could carry on till I acctually graduate (3 years)...Aside from that I could just go there for a holiday once a year or something!...

[Mutley]

Would you really want a gf you would only see once a year?

 

Three years is a long time and you're pretty young. It's not like you've hit the age were it's getting difficult to meet people.

[redhearts]

I remember when I had an amazing connection with someone over the phone, cyber relationship thing, I went to meet him uhh no chemistry at all! LOL So its one thing over the phone, web cams, etc, but when it comes down to it, its all about meeting the person face to face. You can keep at it, but I suggest only if you have at least a 80% chance of being able to visit, I hear those plane tickets to Austrailia get pricey.

 

Put it this way, theres a million girls in the world. Theres plenty where you live, but I know how that may feel of the possibility of her maybe being the one? LOL Well I say be friends if anything.

[SamT]

Haha yeah, I see your point. No I dont want a girfriend once a year..

And thats the thing, I am pretty young, and so is she..so Im thinking how do I approach it by being just friends? I mean I am available, so I dont want to hurt her feelings if I do end up having a girlfriend over here.

What if I do go and visit her, and theres no connection! What a waste of money lol

 

Im thinking, if things work out somehow...people (my age) sometimes have a long distance girl/boy, but its unofficial i guess and theyre still dating etc...??

[Mutley]

Talk to her about her expectations and just be realistic.

[redhearts]

I spent $3,000 on a hotel, expenses and presents (christmas+birthday+graduation) when I met him. I can say, by far one of my stupidest but funniest moments, hahaha.=] Yes a bit of a waste of money! But I got to see a different place! although I spent most of it in the hotel because he had to work.. I find it a bit rude to not get a couple days off. But anyways haha you should just talk to her, have a realistic mind though.

[SamT]

haha oh dear, youve 'been there done that then'! So be realistic? Hmm How can I ask her that without sounding a bit harsh lol, I just dont want her expectations to be too high! x

[equinox]

This is something I have alot of experience with. Take it from me, it's possible to convince yourself you love someone deeply even if you've never met them and it nearly always ends in tears. I wasted 2 years of my life trying to make a long distance releationship work and it got no where.