Divorce - what do you think?

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I'm just looking for opinions...

 

if you are a man going through a divorce do you think its better to have a male divorce attorney or a female divorce attorney?

 

My friend and i were having this discussion- i say its better to have a female divorce attorney...simply because she will think like a woman and hopefully be one step ahead.

 

My friend thinks its better to have a male divorce attorney because he will be able to identify with the man and fight harder.

 

what are your thoughts?

[Scorpion Fury]

I don't personally think it makes a difference. I think you should just pick an experienced lawyer with a good reputation. Either one will know what to do and fight hard.

[riley123]

I agree with HU. Gender matters not -- it's their experience that counts.

[DN]

I don't think it matters either. Get a lawyer who will advise you well but ultimately do what you want.

 

And one who will minimise the expenses instead of making the process expensive and also worse than it need be.

 

It's not a question of thinking like a man or a woman. It's a question of thinking like a lawyer who wants the best deal for the client.

[just M.E.]

In my situation, as a woman, and my ex having issues with respecting any female, I chose a male lawyer on the recommendation of two physiologists, psychiatrists that had both met with him. The felt he would be slightly intimidated dealing with a man but would be abusive and aggressive with a woman.

 

If you have not issues of that nature, I would go with the best lawyer, there can be made arguments on either side for male or female lawyers, but both as experienced divorce lawyers are going to know how to deal with the other party.

 

In my situation, it became more the dynamic of the two lawyers and each lawyer's position was to deal with their own client. My ex chose a male lawyer but in the end wouldn't not take his own lawyer's advice and became abusive (rages) to his own lawyer and was "fired".

[thejigsup]

My bf is a Family Law attorney and through knowing him, I believe that most judges favor male attorneys. When the opposing counsel is female, he usually cleans up in court. I am a feminist, so I'm not trying to sound prejudiced against women. It's just that in general, judges overrule female attorneys more than men. They can't win. If they act feminine, they are seen as too emotionally involved to make logical sense. If they act like the guys, they are seen as being calculating witches without any sense. My bf said in all the years he has been practicing, he has seen two female attorneys that get the court's respect. I work for him in the summers and I can validate what he says. Every client he has whose ex has a female attorney, has won in court. Easily. Sometimes they shouldn't have, but they did. Our court system is very sexist.

[Scorpion Fury]

Oh wow I didn't know that! That's so wrong and sexist! But thanks for the info. That's good to know.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

that makes a lot of sense.... thanks.

[DN]

Well, a friend of mine (a member of my theatre group) who is also a family law attorney claims that a number of judges seem to favour females - particularly female judges of which there are an increasing number. The male judges are afraid of being accused of sexism and the females (he claims) are very often anti-male and discriminate against male lawyers and male clients.

 

The statistics of course are fuzzy - but there seem to be far more mens groups alleging discrimination, particularly in child custody disputes, than do female groups and even if the statistics vary from place to place - women get custody far more often than men.

[redhearts]

Thats good to know!!!=] I thought experienced mattered more. But if its the case of a divorce where the guy thinks the female is cheating, she may be better off with a female attorney, lol.

[DN]

Don't forget that an attorney offers an opinion - a judge gives a decision.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Don't forget that an attorney offers an opinion - a judge gives a decision.

 

I would hope to think that an atty is offering more than an opinion- hopefully some experience with the law and your rights as his/her client.

[DN]

Well, that is what the opinion is based on of course - knowledge and experience. But it is only an opinion and the other litigants' attorney gives an opinion as well. It is the judges task to listen to the two, often competing opinions, and render a judgment.

[TexasDad]

Find out the who the judge is in your county who will be granting your divorce, find an attorney or law firm who has a working relationship with that judge or court and take it from there, that's what I did. I had a young attorney with a huge law firm who had dealt with the judge before, my ex had some female attorney who seemed like she came out of the TV guide adds, I paid out the nose but got everything I wanted.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Find out the who the judge is in your county who will be granting your divorce, find an attorney or law firm who has a working relationship with that judge or court and take it from there, that's what I did. I had a young attorney with a huge law firm who had dealt with the judge before, my ex had some female attorney who seemed like she came out of the TV guide adds, I paid out the nose but got everything I wanted.

 

thats helpful advise... how do you find out who works with what judge though?

[TexasDad]

thats helpful advise... how do you find out who works with what judge though?

 

 

Good question, you could ask your potential lawyer I guess, I also believe you could review past dockets at the court house see which attorney is there the most, or in my case I was lucky enough to have a friend in the field, and actually it was the woman who introduced me to my now ex wife some 11 years ago, her and my ex wife were good friends, and she is the godmother of my children, she was very disappointed with my ex on her decision to "walk away" from the family, they are no longer friends...

[just M.E.]

Find out the who the judge is in your county who will be granting your divorce, find an attorney or law firm who has a working relationship with that judge or court and take it from there, that's what I did. I had a young attorney with a huge law firm who had dealt with the judge before, my ex had some female attorney who seemed like she came out of the TV guide adds, I paid out the nose but got everything I wanted.

 

Unfortunately here, I wouldn't have known who the judge was unless we actually went to court and my ex petitioned to move the divorce to another county. That move was more based on causing me additional expenses and unfortunately if I had fought the move, I would have little chance of winning. I do believe if it had gone before a judge in our home county it would have been slightly in my favor, but there are so many judges, there is no way to predict who would have gotten out case.

[Odysseus]

I'm just looking for opinions...

 

if you are a man going through a divorce do you think its better to have a male divorce attorney or a female divorce attorney?

 

My friend and i were having this discussion- i say its better to have a female divorce attorney...simply because she will think like a woman and hopefully be one step ahead.

 

My friend thinks its better to have a male divorce attorney because he will be able to identify with the man and fight harder.

 

what are your thoughts?

 

When I need one...I'll find a woman.