Approaching women

[ghost69]

Ghost69,

 

Look - we're both guys. I know you're a good guy. I hope you think I'm good guy. I don't want to start an argument with you.

 

I speak from my personal experience. I can do no more. Some guys aren't interested in learning to pick up women. That's okay.

 

As for me, I'm good at pick-ups. I'm good at pick-ups, because I've invested time and effort. I shouldn't post too many pick-up posts on ena, since most people don't appreciate them. But sometimes, you see a guy, and you know exactly what he needs - you really want him to succeed. You know the feeling?

 

It's the same with any art - like martial arts. You see a guy. He's doing his forms all wrong. You want to help him. You want to tell him how to do it right. Right?

 

i know i'm a good guy. you probably are too. ty for the compliment.

 

but don't start talking like i need help meeting women. i put down what works for me as you did. but you put down my tips as if you are the man. not a good look. i don't know what it is...the way you post, the grammar and words you use, but you come off like you know it all and you are the (you know what). hey, great attitude if it works for you. this about giving the OP advice and letting him use whatever he wants. not the 'mine is better than yours' stuff.

 

i've been around the block...several times actually. i know what works and it works for me. you don't like it, don't dog it. if the OP doesn't want to use my advice, hey, fantastic. if he does, cool too.

[hockeyplaya44]

i'm not even going to comment.

 

I am.

 

 

This guy is so full of himself it's amazing he even has a friend to coach with dating. I am truly shocked that these methods you speak of actually work (if they even do) because if someone came up to me and went off on some story "conveying attractive qualities in himself" I'd laugh at him and go on with whatever I was doing.

 

You're either the worlds best looking guy and can get away with how you interact with people based on looks, or everything you say about picking up women is a complete lie and you joined this forum in hopes of some form of acceptance from people by lying about your abilities with women.

 

And another thing, you make it out to be some huge game. Yeah in one sense it is, but it's pretty offensive to women to speak of "pick-ups" etc.

[AJ Auteur]

Imprecision is correct in that social skills are like a muscle and get stronger with more work.

 

His definitions and way of classifying terms are kind of silly but it shows how well one can do with just a rudamentary understanding of interpersonal communication skills.

[Imprecision]

Ghost69,

 

 

 

I have no wish to put you down. If I did that inadvertently, I apologise. For some reason, when I write, I often come off as arrogant. When I speak, I'm much more humble and sincere.

 

Hmm...grammar and words...interesting observation. You're not the first person to say this. Maybe I'll work on writing with more humility.

 

Hockeyplaya44,

 

I do think I'm very good looking. Although "the world's best looking guy" is an overstatement.

 

Trust me, though, "good looks" have nothing to do with picking up women. I have a friend who is 5'4" at most. I won't say he looks bad, since he's a friend. But his looks definitely don't turn heads.

 

This guy is the best pick-up artist I know. I've seen him in the fields. He does the craziest things - if a girl is on a cell-phone, he walks right next to her, pretend to call a friend on his own cell-phone, then says loudly, "This girl next to me so rude..."

 

Anyway, he tells me that back in the day he used to be a shy, introverted kid. When he first practised picking up women, he spent the first two weeks asking every woman in the mall for the time. He slowly got good by practising. I wish I have half his skills or his fearlessness. (I know I'll never be as good as him, because even when I'm improving, he's improving, too. Plus, pick-up is his life ambition. For me, pick-up is only one skill amongst many adventure skills I'm learning. I can't spend more than an hour a day working on it.)

[hockeyplaya44]

 

 

It sounds like you're trying to get someone to buy your book or a DVD or something. I just treat women like regular people and do fine, I don't understand this need for game plans and pre-formulated stories.

 

Once I wrote my post (sorry for being so blunt) I actually went out and tried your bald story. Being 18, it is a bit harder but I tossed in a high school twist to make it more believable. Anyways, when I finished with my story this is exactly what she said. "You know, when you came in and smiled at me I was interested in talking to you, why did you have to give me a bull * * * * story like that?" I was completely honest with her and we ended up having an ok conversation so I guess technically it still worked, but all I needed to do was talk to her like a normal person.

 

I felt like a dork saying "this will only take three minutes by the way"

 

I also don't believe a 5'4 unattractive man can pick up women at will by the way, sorry. Any girl I've ever talked to would NEVER give a guy like that the time of day. It's sad, but it's life. Maybe older women are a bit different, I'm not sure how old you are.

[ghost69]

haha, did you really? that's funny

 

precision, what happens when you start dating this girl and i dunno, it drags on for months/years? then she busts ur butt, 'so what ever happened to your bald friend you asked about when we met all those years ago?'

 

'oh, he died. pretty sad story. i'll tell you about it some time.'

 

??

[hockeyplaya44]

haha, did you really? that's funny

 

precision, what happens when you start dating this girl and i dunno, it drags on for months/years? then she busts ur butt, 'so what ever happened to your bald friend you asked about when we met all those years ago?'

 

'oh, he died. pretty sad story. i'll tell you some time about it.'

 

??

 

That was another thing I meant to say, with all this "pick-up" practice, do you ever keep a girlfriend?

[Shudder]

That was another thing I meant to say, with all this "pick-up" practice, do you ever keep a girlfriend?

 

its just so they can bed the girl and move on. hence the term pickup. theres no real follow up to it. if i wanted a girl for a ons, i'd be lying to her face just to get her in my pants. luckily i'm not that kinda guy, but i know people who are.

 

and all this pick up advice. I think its really just people who are bad with women giving advice to each other thinking they've mastered the science of talking to the opposite sex.

[Imprecision]

Haha, now that we've removed our initial animosity, let's talk game:

 

Hockeyplaya44,

 

Once I wrote my post (sorry for being so blunt) I actually went out and tried your bald story. Being 18, it is a bit harder but I tossed in a high school twist to make it more believable. Anyways, when I finished with my story this is exactly what she said. "You know, when you came in and smiled at me I was interested in talking to you, why did you have to give me a bull* * * * story like that?" I was completely honest with her and we ended up having an ok conversation so I guess technically it still worked, but all I needed to do was talk to her like a normal person.

 

I felt like a dork saying "this will only take three minutes by the way"

 

It takes practice. The first few times, you won't get results. When I first came up with the "bald" story, I already had a lot of practice picking up women in bars. I remember I was relaxing in the park with a friend. I told him I wanted to pick up the girls in the park, because I need to learn day game. He dissed me - he said, "Picking up women like that will get you slapped."

 

Anyway, the first six sets I approached did not open. (They were all exchange students who didn't speak English.) I came back to my friend. He smiled at me smugly. Then, we went to another park. I approached a walking set. She opened, and we had a long conversation. I didn't get her number. But my friend was amazed.

 

There's a reason why most pick-up manuals recommend opinion openers. Opinion openers are easy to use. They open consistently in all situations. For instance, yesterday, I was picking up these two women in a Starbucks. I opened with, "Hello...(time constraint, etc.)...I was debating my friend over there. This debate involves wet T-shirt contests. Long story..."

 

Often, a newbie can start a long conversation with a beautiful girl on his first attempt at opinion openers. The first time it works, it opens your eyes. Then you know that your pick-up manuals are for real. They aren't bull.sh.iting you. Of course, to open consistently, you must practise day after day. You must invest at least an hour a day.

 

I also don't believe a 5'4 unattractive man can pick up women at will by the way, sorry. Any girl I've ever talked to would NEVER give a guy like that the time of day. It's sad, but it's life. Maybe older women are a bit different, I'm not sure how old you are.

 

Not true. When I was a kid, a lot of guys said that women are only after money and looks. I didn't know whether to believe them.

 

Now, especially after the last 2 years, I have concrete, personal experience to disprove them. Personality trumps everything with women. You can be the best looking guy in the world, and women will still reject you. You can be a 5 ft 4 unattractive man (like my friend) and still get all the girls.

 

This restores your belief in a just and moral universe. It's hard to believe that the universe is just, if you believe that women care only for looks and money. Again, day after day, concrete incidents I see with my own eyes confirm that personality trumps everything.

 

Ghost69,

 

precision, what happens when you start dating this girl and i dunno, it drags on for months/years? then she busts ur butt, 'so what ever happened to your bald friend you asked about when we met all those years ago?'

 

'oh, he died. pretty sad story. i'll tell you about it some time.'

 

??

 

For the longest time, I thought women participated in my openers, because they liked me. I thought they realised that these openers were made-up, imaginary situations. But now, I think some women believe that opinion openers are for real. I have another thread on this:

 

Do women believe opinion openers are for real?

[Shudder]

 

dude your posts are so long. talking to a woman only really involves 'hi, how are you' no need to over do it with opinion openers, situational openers or whatever other terminology you guys use.

[Imprecision]

Hockeyplaya44,

 

That was another thing I meant to say, with all this "pick-up" practice, do you ever keep a girlfriend?

 

I have very specific tastes in women. For a girl to date me long-term, she must:

 

1. Either western brunette or Chinese.

2. Speak Mandarin. (I find Mandarin very sexy.)

3. At least 2 years older. Preferably 6-7 years.

 

I have other personality criteria. I sort these criteria into complex grids.

 

As you can see, very rarely do I come accross a girl who satisfies my criteria. With the girls I pick up (who don't satisfy the criteria), I'm only interested in a fling or a few dates.

 

One girl satisfied all these criteria. In fact, she originated these criteria.

 

I'm interested in another girl right now. But she's taken. I'm slowly working on her. Meanwhile, I continue to practise pick-ups.

[ghost69]

Hockeyplaya44,

 

 

 

I have very specific tastes in women. For a girl to date me long-term, she must:

 

1. Either western brunette or Chinese.

2. Speak Mandarin. (I find Mandarin very sexy.)

3. At least 2 years older. Preferably 6-7 years.

 

I have other personality criteria. I sort these criteria into complex grids.

 

As you can see, very rarely do I come accross a girl who satisfies my criteria. With the girls I pick up (who don't satisfy the criteria), I'm only interested in a fling or a few dates.

 

One girl satisfied all these criteria. In fact, she originated these criteria.

 

I'm interested in another girl right now. But she's taken. I'm slowly working on her. Meanwhile, I continue to practise pick-ups.

 

wow ||||||||||

[Imprecision]

Shudder,

 

dude your posts are so long. talking to a woman only really involves 'hi, how are you' no need to over do it with opinion openers, situational openers or whatever other terminology you guys use.

 

Yeah, I know. My posts are too long. I'm spending too much time writing posts.

 

I should be studying instead. I want to finish all of Shakespeare this summer.

 

Anyone here interested in team work? We can study English history together.

[hockeyplaya44]

Hockeyplaya44,

 

 

 

I have very specific tastes in women. For a girl to date me long-term, she must:

 

1. Either western brunette or Chinese.

2. Speak Mandarin. (I find Mandarin very sexy.)

3. At least 2 years older. Preferably 6-7 years.

 

I have other personality criteria. I sort these criteria into complex grids.

 

As you can see, very rarely do I come accross a girl who satisfies my criteria. With the girls I pick up (who don't satisfy the criteria), I'm only interested in a fling or a few dates.

 

One girl satisfied all these criteria. In fact, she originated these criteria.

 

I'm interested in another girl right now. But she's taken. I'm slowly working on her. Meanwhile, I continue to practise pick-ups.

 

Complex Grids, criteria...you do know women are humans right?

[Imprecision]

Haha - I know what I want. When I see it, I go for it.

[hockeyplaya44]

Haha - I know what I want. When I see it, I go for it.

 

Isn't there just a feeling inside you when you know a girl is worth something more? I find it very interesting that you have a checklist. Sometimes just by the way a certain girl looks at me I get butterflies. I love the uncertainty of interactions between guys and girls, it makes things interesting when not everything can be explained.

[May_It_Be]

Um, women aren't "objects" for men to artfully (or not) "pick up", like a good book on a table. We're human beings.

 

And the balding-friend fixation definitely MUST be from your early, unskilled arsenal.

[hockeyplaya44]

Um, women aren't "objects" for men to artfully (or not) "pick up", like a good book on a table. We're human beings.

 

 

thank you.

[May_It_Be]

 

I can, however, speak from personal experience. Personal experience is picking up women everyday. Personal experience is experimenting with different methods. Personal experience is seeing your game improve gradually. Personal experience is filling in your notebook with numbers and emails - and the joy of having to buy a new notebook, because the previous one has a number on every page.

 

 

 

Yes - but haven't you noticed that most men are complacent fools who have no game and no options?

 

 

If you've truly perfected the art of flirtation and scintillating conversation, then why are you still single and still "picking up" new women "every day" ... why hasn't your practiced talent secured you a stable relationship?

 

Just wonderin'.

[hockeyplaya44]

If you've truly perfected the art of flirtation and scintillating conversation, then why are you still single and still "picking up" new women "every day" ... why hasn't your practiced talent secured you a stable relationship?

 

Just wonderin'.

 

Look at his requirement for a long term relationship and you will understand completely. You speak Mandarin by any chance?

[Imprecision]

Hockeyplaya44,

 

Isn't there just a feeling inside you when you know a girl is worth something more? I find it very interesting that you have a checklist. Sometimes just by the way a certain girl looks at me I get butterflies. I love the uncertainty of interactions between guys and girls, it makes things interesting when not everything can be explained.

 

Actually, my sister helped me develop the checklist. Basically, it comes down to my preference for two types of girls.

 

Type 1: Feminine, graceful, elegant, yet fierce, generous, loyal

 

Type 2: Makes friends with everyone. Very popular, yet not constrained by her popularity.

 

Both types have independent minds. This is very important. Most women are cliquey, narrow-minded, and judgmental. Type 1 women have few friends. But their friendships are intense and passionate. Type 2 women have many friends. They don't take their friends' antics seriously. Both types are tolerant and gracious.

 

The three criteria in the above post are for real. A girl must satisfy all three criteria rigidly for me to date her. But the personality grid is for fun.

 

And for what it's worth - when I like a girl, I really like her.

 

May_It_Be,

 

Um, women aren't "objects" for men to artfully (or not) "pick up", like a good book on a table. We're human beings.

 

And the balding-friend fixation definitely MUST be from your early, unskilled arsenal.

 

Don't see where you got "object" from. A salesman gets better by approaching many households. A guy gets better by approaching many women. Approaching women is a skill like any other.

 

Haha, the "balding-friend fixation" is from my early arsenal. But it works surprisingly well. It's disarming. At first, the woman is tense. She wonders what you want from her. As soon as you get to "My friend says, 'I will never get any woman now'," she starts laughing. The situation is relaxed. A fun conversation ensues.

[ghost69]

some people approach a lot of women and never get it. i'd just like to point that out.

[Imprecision]

Hockeyplaya44,

 

Look at his requirement for a long term relationship and you will understand completely. You speak Mandarin by any chance?

 

Asking me? Yes, I speak Mandarin. But my first language is Teochiu. I prefer to speak Teochiu. Nevertheless, Mandarin is very sexy for me, whether a crisp Beijing accent or a cute western accent.

[May_It_Be]

Look at his requirement for a long term relationship and you will understand completely. You speak Mandarin by any chance?

 

LOL, nope, English is my native tongue and forte.

 

Want my honest, visceral reaction??? Poor Imprecision is just that, when it comes to women and relationships. Hence the grandiose, even slightly bombastic, pontification. It's grand-standing.

 

No offense. Just me being visceral again.

[Shudder]

approaching women is not a science. once you make it one, you'll over complicate something really simple as you are already doing.