How to control myself?

[Teresa24]

We broke up 3 months ago,

NC for half a month,then contact,then another half a month NC,then contact...repeat as this.

we still love each other but based on some practical problems, we could not find our future together,when I was still dreaming that love can conquer all,he suddenly "woke up" and broke up with me.

 

After this sad relation,and mainly because at the "bottleneck" period of my career,I planned for some further study at a place near his country.He got this information from my facebook.

 

One week ago,he talked to me and wanted to come back,I didnt say no directly but I told him at least in 4-5 years it is impossible,actually the answer in my heart is negative.

I still love him as before but I understand if we get together again,we will still break up at last.There are some problems between us that can never be solved.

Maybe I also keep some selfish thinking,I still hope one day in the future,we can overcome all and be together,after all he is the one I really love and want to marry,anyway,this is only my wish.so I didnt refuse him decidedly.

 

So the situation now is,

he keeps on sending me sweet things,SMS,email...he said he would like to wait for several years,until I totally heal from the pain of our last breaking up.

 

But I have to try my best to forget him and ignore all, though sometimes I do miss him crazily and want to talk to him.

 

I deleted his number from my cellphone,but unfortunately I can remember his number clearly in my mind.Many times when I want to call him,I dont know how to control myself and stop doing this stupid thing.

I tried to talk to other people,watch TV,play computer games...do anything that will not make me miss him,but that doesnt work well.I only feel sad and cannot concentrate on what I am doing.

 

I know as long as I call him again,all my endeavor come to nothing.

Maybe we will be happy as before,but the result is just there,we cannot be together forever,one day we will still break up,I dont want that.

 

NC will be better to forget,I mean change my cellphone number or cut off internet access,but I feel myself unable to do that.

And my another problem may be I like to indulge in a fantasy of some impossibilities.

 

Everytime when he told me he loves me,I really want to tell him I also love him as before,and never changed,then we can get back and be happy again...but what I only can do is keeping silent and ignoring his msg.

 

I feel bad about this situation now.Any suggestions will be appreciated,thanks.

[kuhl282000]

Sounds to me you are complicating the situation ......I understand you has some problem. But if you love each other you should be together ........

 

Love is wonderful when you keep it simple, its when it gets complicated that makes things crazy .........go to him, be with him, tell him you love him ...

 

Heal your heart ......be one of the lucky ones to find love ....I wish i could get the love of my life back she was really special .....and we had issues to, only wish we could have worked them out. If I only had one wish it would be her ......if you would wish for you man, then you should be together.

 

Go Get Em .....

[Teresa24]

thanks for comments,I really want to make it simple,sometimes I really want to forget all the problems and just be with him,love him,cherish him forever.His love is the most important thing to me.

 

But we live in this world,we cannot ignore everything.

For example,if we get back and be happy, but we cannot live together forever,can I only keep this LDR for 5-10 yrs,maybe longer?I would rather we stop it now.

 

Here is my another post,I hope it could help you to understand our problems more,

 

 

I understand your feeling,that's why I also feel sad about things now.No one want to miss the right one in his/her life,but sometimes we have no other way.

[kuhl282000]

I read the other post ...you're thinking way to much on this .....people who are in love get together .....NO MATTER WHAT ......STICK TOGETHER ........put the past behind you and focus on the future possibilities ........you can't do that if you're apart .don't worry about the family, the job ..........you can fix all that stuff later.

 

You were sick for three months over this guy .......go be with him ...he wants you, you want him it does not get any better then that ........don't worry about him leaving you later ......just love the guy .....take a giant leap of faith ......nothing less will do in the name of love ......