I wasnt going to say anything...

[True]

I have had the same best friend for 5 years, and we are close. Just recently I have come to terms with the fact that Im in love with him. I wasnt going to say anything, just forget about it (because hes going after his ex, and lives far away), but we tell eachother everything. So I *just* told him.... and he just wants to be friends.

I feel horrible and heartbroken - hes my best friend! What do I do now? I mean, everyone has been shot down... this is actually more of a brake-up because we were already so close.

... I just feel so bad.... like anyone would feel. How do I get over it, when we Im or talk *every* day?

I want him in my life, but it hurts....

[soul_soother]

It's always so glamorous to idealize your best friends and bf/gf but as I've witnessed 95% its a car wreck.. Just keep your chin up, he wants to be friends now, honor that and don't act any different because not only will you lose him as a close friend, but probably a friend all together. I once told one of my best friends of 7 years I liked her and since then it's like were almost strangers, texted like 3 times this year.. Kind of sucks when that stuff happens thats why I keep it short..

[Caterina]

I had that happen. I walked away from the friendship, but I'm glad I did.

 

Its over and it hurts b/c I think about him every day. But its not worth it to stay, at least it wasn't for me.

[atelis]

are you really sure it's love? a lot of people confuse romantic love with the love they have for a person who is a close friend.

 

Was there any sexual tension between you when you first met or was it always platonic from the start?

[knightingale]

I have had the same best friend for 5 years, and we are close. Just recently I have come to terms with the fact that Im in love with him. I wasnt going to say anything, just forget about it (because hes going after his ex, and lives far away), but we tell eachother everything. So I *just* told him.... and he just wants to be friends.

I feel horrible and heartbroken - hes my best friend! What do I do now? I mean, everyone has been shot down... this is actually more of a brake-up because we were already so close.

... I just feel so bad.... like anyone would feel. How do I get over it, when we Im or talk *every* day?

I want him in my life, but it hurts....

 

Not to plant any false hope, but this happened with me and my best guy friend. Took me months to get over it, but I still acted and treated him the same the entire time. When I started dating someone else, he confessed his undying love for me and told me we were meant to be together.

 

We've been friends for almost six years.

 

He was also hung up on his ex at the time.

 

I'm in a strange place now, as my ex and I have been broken up for almost two months now. I loved my ex, part of me still does, but I'm almost positive my friend still has those feelings for me--meaning they weren't just some fleeting emotion caused my jealousy. I don't know how I feel about him anymore, since it took me almost a year to move on. But he's always been there for me, I know I care about him dearly still. I just know I have to make sure my feelings are clear to ME before I try to take that step with him again.

 

Basically, True, if he's important enough to you to keep as your friend, don't let him go. He may come around. Then again, he may not. But don't let a good friendship go. Give it time and what's meant to happen will happen.

[Dani0613]

This happened to me once too. Yes, it was very hard to deal with and although I HATED doing it at the time, the best course of action was to put some distance between us. Though it's still going to be difficult for you, it was a LITTLE easier for me to swallow b/c the love wasn't ever reciprocated.. I couldn't miss what I never had. Does that make sense? Give yourself some time and please know that it does get better.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

This is always tough... you have so many feelings for him, and now rejection and vulnerability.

 

You could just try to tough it out and pull back a little til you're feeling better (don't talk to him so often).

 

But if you find yourself really hurting or comparing other men to him and not wanting to date other people, then you may have to break off the friendship for a while til you get over it and don't have the romantic feelings anymore.

[knightingale]

It's just one of those thanks you're going to have to gauge on your own. Pull back if it gets too hard to handle. If it starts to affect your life negatively, you'll know what to do.