Found half-naked girls on bf's computer

[gypsywanderer]

I was on my boyfriend's computer the other day to print something--my printer doesn't work. Then I noticed a folder on his computer entitled "hot". I know it wasn't my business, but lately how things have been going, I had to click it. I was horrified to confirm what I thought I'd find. He had several pictures of half-naked blonde girls with big breasts. I wanted to puke. I confronted him about it and he said that he was deleting files the other night and "must have forgotten" those. I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel totally out there--like I just can't trust him. Is this wrong? I'm trying to believe him--trying to trust...but in my heart it is hard. Am I being irrational?

[Ftheworld]

Were they pictures of porn stars or real girls he knows? If they are porn stars, I think you're overreacting. : /

[Rising]

There's nothing wrong with him having photos of naked women on his computer.

[CharlesF]

Yeah, I would say over-reacting. Even if it is not on his hard drive, he can always do a Google image search for "half naked girls" and instantly see allot of pictures.

[blue_dahlia]

I think it's ok for your boyfriend to look @ the hotties. But like Ftheworld said, if these are friends or ex-girlfriends, I think that's crossing the line.

 

You should look @ the hotties together He'd love that plus you'll get the awesome girlfriend award.

[gypsywanderer]

I don't know who they were. They weren't porn stars. He said it was back from the time when he was single and he used to save pictures of girls onto his computer, but he didn't realize they were still there as he used to have the files hidden so if his little sister came to his place, she wouldn't accidently find them. I suppose I could be overreacting. That's what I wanted to know. I just wish I didn't feel that lack of trust deep down. I told him that I believed him, and I let it go for his sake. I know I shouldn't have these feelings. What can I do?

[gypsywanderer]

Ugh--unless he will look at half-naked buff men with me, I'm not going to look at half-naked big-breasted blonde women with him..lol

[blue_dahlia]

You can accept, understand that it's pretty normal for most men, and let it go

 

P.S. I think it's still ok for him to look even when he's not single. It's natural.

[HellFrost666]

You are getting yourself way too worked up. They are only pictures, and of women that are completely unattainable.

[gypsywanderer]

Plus I have no need to look at guys. He does it for me lol

[blue_dahlia]

Ugh--unless he will look at half-naked buff men with me, I'm not going to look at half-naked big-breasted blonde women with him..lol

 

hahahahahahaa

[blue_dahlia]

Plus I have no need to look at guys. He does it for me lol

 

Please! Most men are more attractive with their clothes on lol

[HellFrost666]

Plus I have no need to look at guys. He does it for me lol

 

^ You do it for him too. Why can't you ladies undersrand that??? (Fortunately for me I have a girlfriend who does understand that. Yes, I am very blessed.)

[CharlesF]

It's also possible that they are not pornstars and the are not anyone he knows. There are allot of pictures on the web of half naked girls. He is probably telling you the truth because archiving this stuff would have been a big deal years ago. Now, there are uncountable numbers of pictures like these and video too.

[gypsywanderer]

Well I guess it just makes me feel as though I'm not "doing it" for him. I don't know. I'm quite the opposite of blonde and big breasted. And I'm definitely not the cheerleader type lol

[blue_dahlia]

OP you should buy him a magazine, Juggs. He'd think you're the coolest. It would demonstrate that you're understanding, plus it was your idea so it may make you feel better. Am I making sense?

[Samedy]

How new is this relationship? I can understand you being uncomfortable, but if this is a new relationship, you have to assume he did look at pronography before he met you.

 

*His excuse of deleting files and forgetting is kind of funny though. Not the best excuse, but it is better than saying "I didn't download that. It must have been my computer. It has a mind of it's own I tell ya... dirty dirty computer!".

[doyathink]

It just pisses me off when women come here about this subject, and you guys tell them they're over reacting, and to get over it.

 

If it's NOT ok with you....then don't accept it. Period! You can have a talk with him..but ultimately, you can't make him stop...you can only ask him to delete it, and if he does...then you have one hell of a man. If he doesn't, then you have a decision to make. Either live with it, or leave.

You don't have to accept something that you don't like.

[blue_dahlia]

It just pisses me off when women come here about this subject, and you guys tell them they're over reacting, and to get over it.

 

If it's NOT ok with you....then don't accept it. Period! You can have a talk with him..but ultimately, you can't make him stop...you can only ask him to delete it, and if he does...then you have one hell of a man. If he doesn't, then you have a decision to make. Either live with it, or leave.

You don't have to accept something that you don't like.

 

 

My goodness ~ this must have hit an emotional nerve with you.

 

The OP did ask if she was being irrational.

[doyathink]

My goodness ~ this must have hit an emotional nerve with you.

 

The OP did ask if she was being irrational.

 

Ya think? Be supportive. If something is hurting someone who comes here....why would they be given the advice to just get over it?

 

If he were cheating on her, would you also tell her to accept it?

[HellFrost666]

^ I wasn't trying to come off as unsupportive. But if she thinks she doesn't excite him I am just saying that's most likely not the case.

[doyathink]

^ I wasn't trying to come off as unsupportive. But if she thinks she doesn't excite him I am just saying that's most likely not the case.

 

No I know you weren't. But so many ppl here do that..it gets old.

[purpleduckie]

It just pisses me off when women come here about this subject, and you guys tell them they're over reacting, and to get over it.

 

If it's NOT ok with you....then don't accept it. Period! You can have a talk with him..but ultimately, you can't make him stop...you can only ask him to delete it, and if he does...then you have one hell of a man. If he doesn't, then you have a decision to make. Either live with it, or leave.

You don't have to accept something that you don't like.

 

i agree.

there are men who don't look at other women when he's with his girl. they exist!

[Rising]

I stand by my view that there is nothing wrong with the guy having those pictures on his computer. I'm not sure if I'm included in the 'guys who are telling her she's overreacting' comment, but as a person who supports people embracing their sexuality (non-criminal of course) I think it would be wrong to tell this guy he can't have his pictures.

 

If they were pics of his ex-gfs then it would be an issue that should be addressed within the relationship. Since everyone is entitled to their fantasies, and he's not a hyper-obsessed porn addict, and it's not negatively influencing the relationship I don't see how it's a problem.

 

This is nothing like cheating and is more akin to a form of jealousy. If a girl I was dating was jealous that I had a close female friend I would be very upset if she told me I was somehow wrong for it.

 

Just my 2 cents

 

-Rising

[doyathink]

And it's cool if your gf views it...but not to all men. So, I guess the moral to this story is....if your partner doesn't have a problem with it...then go for it, but if they do, then maybe you need to find another partner that doesn't mind it.