I have a problem and feel down about it.

[axeplayer329]

Hi guys,

 

I'm 18 and just started college. I have social problems. I can't talk to people. It's very very hard for me to make friends. And I'm done making excuses for myself like "I am just a lone wolf." I don't know what my problem is. I don't get nervous around people I just don't know what to do around them. So I just stay quiet I don't say a word. Around my friends I am a completely different person. I'm 18, only have ever had 1 girlfriend, I couldn't talk to her either. I have never been kissed. This whole is start to weigh on me. I need to change but I don't know what to do. But the thing is that it's not that I don't have people skills. I teach guitar at a local store. And I have to say that I'm great. I talk to my students and I have fun. But I dont know. I need help. And let me be totally honest. Like any young person of my age want...I want to get laid god dammit. Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to get a girlfriend for sex. I would really like to meet a girl that I can relate to and all that. But if I can't talk to them that can't happen. I feel like such a dork or something. I mean I'm 18 and have never kissed a girl. Some thing is wrong with me.

[Supa_gurl]

Nothing is wrong with you at all. Consider it just waiting for the right gal to come along. And I promise she will. You are still young and have so much going for you. Enjoy it now, while you can.

[soul_soother]

A lot of people go even longer with not grasping either of those.. Anyway my best friend is a freak about getting laid. Always trying to flips out if he doesn't and he's 20 now and only has had sex once, with a girl who had already had 13 partners... He lost his virginity and she knocked 14 on her belt... Thats kind of crappy if you ask me? Anyway the more he freaked out about it the more big of a deal it was. If your a completely different person around your friends why can't you just act like that with everyone?

[axeplayer329]

I can't enjoy being young while I can. Part of enjoying being young if being able to just have fun but I can't, I don't know how to just be around people if you get what I mean. I don't know i guess I'm mostly just lonely all the time. And thats what I'm talking about I don't know why I can't act like that around other people.

[stratguy620]

I was exactly in your awkward shoes my first few years of college. I had my small group of friends I was fine with, I had a girlfriend in high school, but other than that, I felt totally isolated from the entire "college" scene. I was envious of all the other kids running around and going to parties and having fun, so I realized I needed to make a conscious change.

 

I just forced myself to talk, to interact, to meet as many people as possible. I talked to people on the bus, I made myself ask my roomates stuff, etc. It's a matter of practice, and it gets much easier once your foot is in the door. Being in school automatically gives you an instant conversation piece; simply find anybody in one of your classes, walk up and ask them what the homework is for the week, or any other question that floats your boat.

 

The one warning I have however, is to keep your feet on the ground. I saw way too many good guys go straight downhill after getting into college. One of my best friends decided that he wanted to be a part of the crazy college scene, and eventually not only drifted away from our group of friends, but had to just drop out. You should see other people and social situations not as an opportunity to get laid or get plastered, but rather as a chance to learn, grow, meet, and have fun. (Sorry if that sounds Dr. Phil-ish)

 

By the way...you said you play guitar. Go sit out in your quad and play. I guarantee other guys in your dorm play...so go make music. Playing music with others is the most satisfying thing in the world, plus you get to meet cool people. What kind of axe you have? What styles do you like to play?

[axeplayer329]

What kind of axe you have? What styles do you like to play?

 

I have a Gibson 1952 J-45, fender highway 1 strat, gibson sg, and a fender jag. I am actually in college for jazz guitar. But I play mainly blues, classic rock. That sort of stuff. what about you?

[axeplayer329]

Well heres the main problem. I don't know what to say around people. Honestly! I will be around people who are having a conversation and my mind is empty. I dont know what to say. If its on a topic that I know alot about then its different but 9/10 its not. so most of the times i just laugh, smile and dont say anything.

[Supa_gurl]

^^^^

That is a great start, whether you think so or not. Just go with the flow. If it is not a topic you are familiar with, continue to smile and nod. You will get through this phase in life. Keep coming here for advice or to vent. We will be here for ya.