Romance-phobia

[Tamoko]

My family has never been affectionate or romantic so for me, if a guy trys to do something romantic with me...it doesn't work out. I ruin the moment. How do I over come that?

 

I'm also not an affectionate person. How do I become comfortable with expressing my emotions when it comes to romance/love/attraction?

 

I'm a tom boy, the kind of girl that likes tattoos, piercings, and rock-hard music. I don't wear dresses-boots and sneakers.

 

but I want to be a girly girl. Just looking the part isn't doing it for me. I wan to have those heart-stopping moments where you gaze into each others eyes--you know?

 

When I get that moment I crack up and make jokes. I'm so uncomfortable with it! help~

[Lana0120]

How exactly do you ruin the moment? Just by cracking jokes, or do you feel that you do it in other ways? I'd be interested in hearing about some examples. I think it's just a gradual thing. I remember I used to practically flinch if someone tried to hug me years ago - anybody except a close relative. Now, if I'm taken by surprise it can be awkward, but usually, it's good.

[Balbina]

I think it's a matter of gradually easing yourself into those situations and getting used to it by mentally preparing yourself. If you really want to experience those kinds of things, you need to try to address the fact that you're uncomfortable and accept that everything takes time.

 

Why don't YOU try doing something romantic? A walk in a pretty park, perhaps even pack a picnic lunch or dinner. Make yourself comfortable with things that are "romantic" and you'll ease yourself into those situations easier.

[Tamoko]

Examples-I'll just ask 'Why are you looking at me?" and start making faces-possibly declare a staring contest...or possibly poke his eyes. That's how I handle the situation-not to sabotage but..thats how I react in a siltation like that.. I want to be able to handle the situation like.... a romantic would. I love moments like that.

 

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When I was with my current ex [together for 1.5 years] we would sometimes go out for walks together in secluded woodsy/park areas and just chill out but..it was just us walking around and goofing off like friends.. But that's how I make the situation. if he was to get close to me or try some PDA I was..kind of..not push him away but shrug it off..and once again make jokes. Then he would yell at me for ruining the moment.