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So, I know some of you know the background to this story, and probably think I am crazy, and for those of you that don't, well, I'll certainly tell if you would like to know. This is a long-distance situation, that has only been going on for a few months. After a breif lapse in contact for about a week a month ago, I've been in pretty intense communication with this guy the last month. We've been trying to plan to see each other again, and possibly looking at taking a trip abroad together. We both got out of relationships at the end of May. So this is a text conversation from yesterday:


Me: Hey, Hadn't hear form you in a couple days...Hope things are going well.


Him: Yeah, X and I are both in town, drama is unfolding. Had to get my stuff from her storage, now we are going back and forth on text and phone


Me (curious as to what was going on): Y'all working things out? Or is it bad drama?


Me again: Actually, you don't have to answer that question if you don't want. Hope things are ok


him: What question? Didn't you get my response?


Me: Nope, I didn't


Him: both.



That was pretty much the end of the conversation (I asked him to tell me if they were getting back together, but he never responded...this was pretty late last night.) When I asked him if they were working things out, I was meaning to ask if they were getting back together, but I find it odd that he would flat out come out and say all this to me, seeing as three days ago he was offering to buy my ticket out to see him this next weekend. I mean, I understand that people get back with their exes all the time, I guess I just didn't think he would causally come out and say it like that. Or do you think he just meant that they are working things out as in getting issues straightened out, but not getting back together? I don't want to keep in touch with him if he's getting back with this ex, but I don't know if that is actually what is going on...it is possible I misread this whole convo.


What do you think?

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I wouldn't take that to mean they're getting back together. Especially if he's saying there is bad drama too, "working things out" more than likely meant something along the lines of being civil and him getting his stuff back without it being smashed on the pavement. I wouldn't think about it too much until the next time you talk to him and then ask him about it.


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Thanks for the opinions. He had been pretty honest about the fact that there were some issues/continued drama with the situation. I just didn't know how to take the "both" comment. I would be surprised if they were getting back together and he was so open and casual and honest with me about it (just wouldn't think you would do that with someone you were kind of involved with) but at the same time this guy is pretty up-front and honest about everything, so who knows...

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Hmmm...maybe I will just call him. I mean, to a certain extent, I think he kind of owes it to me to tell me if that is what is going on. I was getting texts all last week about how we needed to talk every night because he misses me if we don't talk in the evenings and he was wanting to know if i would ever consider moving to where he is. And there was a lot of relationship-y talk...like "if we were a couple" and " we can do this" and "we can do that" together things. Not to mention wanting me to see him this weekend and possibly taking the big trip next month. So maybe a phone call is in order...

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Yeah. I thought I was asking for clarification when I asked him to tellme if they were getting back together so I wouldn't accidentally interefere. But he neve responded so who knows. Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds it confusing...

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Well, the conversation was only yesterday, and it sounds like no matter what's going on w/him and the ex, his hands are pretty full at the moment.

your question was:


"Me (curious as to what was going on): Y'all working things out? Or is it bad drama?"


A reply of "both" indicates that yes, there's bad drama... but "working things out"

could mean that they are simply hashing out grievances, but does not indicate whether they're getting back together, or just putting closure to the relationship.

Anybody's guess, really. Try not to get worked up, or psych yourself out with so little to go on.


It might be best to give him a tiny bit of space to work through that "bad drama", without adding too much pressure at the moment, so as not to confuse things or add any stress.


If you like this guy, and if you were making plans to meet, try to stay positive. Give him a little breathing room, and just take things as they come. If you're talking to him regularly, maybe give him a day or two and see if he comtacts you, or, if it feels comfortable, maybe touch base, be a good friend to him, but maybe hold off on plan-making for a couple of days since his head is likely in a jumble, anyway.


Then, when the deadline comes (the last day or two that would be suitable for purchasing an affordable need to buy your ticket), just bring it up then, with a sentiment similar to "Hey, I'm still game for a visit; are you? Would be great to see you for a nice fun/relaxing weekend, but i need to book now before the tickets go up in price"

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Thanks Odile...thats good advice. I guess "working things out" could mean a lot of things. We were talking about getting together this weekend, so that probably is out of the question. From my interactions with him, he's always appeared to be pretty honest and up-front, almost surprisingly so, so I would think/hope that if they were indeed getting back together, that he would probably let me know at some point in time. I guess I'll give him a couple days, then maybe I'll touch base and see whats up and how he's doing.

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